Mother of Lizards

I became a lizard mom today 🦎 It's been a small dream of mine for about 4 years to one day have my own little chameleon. Took the plunge today and I'm so in love ❤

It's been a while. Are people still following me? Bless your hearts 😊 It's ramble time, as my day has been... well it's been a day. I went to the doctor today. I know throughout the last while, that due to a combination of stress in multiple areas of life, plus working nearly full time and going to school full time... I've gained weight. It's cool! It's the story of my life. However I've reached an all time high. A high I said I would never get to. The high I one said that I'd I got there I might as well just end it all. Welp, I'm there baby. ...and no I will not off myself over this, that's just to put it into perspective. My doctor gave me a possible solution to my little dilemma. As a man who is much larger than I and who has had previous success with this option, I trust him completely. As I gave the news of my new endeavour to multiple of my support systems, I was met with the same responses from all, "...pfft", "waste of money", "oh, alright". Thanks. I need help. I'm living proof that after 10+ years of trying to do it independently that I can't lose the weight on my own. I've tried and given up countless times. People tell me all the time "you're so beautiful, you don't need to lose weight". I wish that people could see that this is not a compliment to me. I wish people really knew how unhappy I was. I wish that the general population could spend a day inside my head so that every time I looked in the mirror they would hear what those nasty little voices in the back of my head tell me. I wish that people knew how much it hurts me to eat some days. I wish that people who are SIGNIFICANTLY slimmer than I knew how much it hurts to hear them say "ugh I'm so fat". ...what do you think of me? I'm tired of being 'the big friend'. The plus sized one. Having to look at the size before I look at the style of clothing has become old news to me. Im tired of the media having an effect on my self esteem. It's time for a change, and clearly it's me, and only me, against the world! I'm doing this for me and only me. So there... So here's to a new endeavor! Regardless of what anyone says. Cheers, and thanks for listening 💜

Not the greatest quality photo, but I'm working a stretch of night shifts, so buzz off. Anywhoosier. My newest stitch. This one was quite fun!

Tropical Sunset by @madxstitcher

A little over a third of the way done Tropical Sunset by @madxstitcher