Mother

Am I the only one whose internet addiction started with my parents not letting me fucking go anywhere

theres this chinese girl in my class who isnt very fluent in english and she asked me if i have a boyfriend and i was like “i dont. i dont like. boys” and she nodded very wisely and went “ah. cooties”

Star Trek has given me unrealistic expectations about the sexual compatibility of aliens and humans

#what if first contact happens tomorrow and absolutely none of the aliens are dtf

venom is getting bad reviews because clearly no movie critics are monster fuckers. send tweet.

like honestly though you know these plain ass bitches were going into those theatres hoping to have some film about how eddie brock overcame the scary slime monster to take down the evil scary bad business man and then he and miss blondie would ride into the sunset on the back of his motorbike and i just have to ask like… did they all seriously watch eddie “big bitch energy” brock and venom “big slut energy” symbiote in the trailer releases and think “oh yes, this is going to be an intellectual piece of film”? No! this film is for horny people and people with taste so bad it’s good. no i won’t elaborate.

im glad this was so relatable to the general public

THIS! THIS IS ME! THIS ONE!