Femme

it’s a series of negotiations you make with yourself over your whole life. it’s making one less self-deprecating joke. it’s looking at yourself in the mirror with a little more generosity. it’s forgiving yourself for that little mistake.

what are you going to do? are you going to spend more time feeling bad about how many things are wrong with you than actually trying to navigate them and add experiences to your life, whatever your life is able to be? do you feel like you need to lock yourself away and isolate yourself from the world and avoid feeling joy exclusively because you are an award-winning problem-haver? because you have too many things wrong with you? are you more upset about the fact that you have something wrong with you than about what those somethings actually are?

what if something is wrong with you? what if everything is wrong with you? what if there is no part of who you are and what you are capable of that is untouched by the things that are wrong with you? what if the things that are wrong with you are so bad that they fuck up your life plans or might even kill you?

are you going to live life waiting for a magical perfect second chance or are you going to look at the hand you were dealt and recognize that you are what you are, whoever you are, and that your life is happening right fucking now? you can try as hard as you want to try and dissociate into a person with zero problems and it will all be time wasted that could have been spent looking around you and exploring whatever parts of this vast and incredible earth you can gain access to. time that could have been spent learning from other people who have something wrong with them. would you actively pressure someone else with your same problems to isolate themselves for the rest of their life and seek out misery exclusively because of it? or is that maybe a shitty mindset to have?