God but what do you think it feels like for Chuuya to touch Dazai. Can you imagine.
Can you imagine having a powerful, semi-godly force trapped in your mortal body, itching, pulsing under your skin, a pressure so overwhelming and powerful that it terrifies you to the very bone, that is constantly just out of reach whispering to you to see it loose, knowing that you could never because it could easily destroy you
And then you finally, finally, after coming in contact with one person, finally know peace. You touch skin and it just... Stops. The constant, overwhelming noise that you've grown as accustomed to as your own skin stops and you can hear your own thoughts, for once, feel your own heartbeat, your own breathing.
And at that point, does it really matter if that person betrays you? Does it matter if he's the enemy? Can you really stop yourself from going back to the only calm you've ever, ever been able to grasp?