down, boy

crush scenes art dump

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I don’t usually post metas up, but lately, I’ve been thinking about the weight of Mello’s apology to Matt. We know that “sorry” is pretty universal, and it means remorse over something someone has done. But apologies in Japanese are slightly different to them in English, and I felt that some of these nuances would have been lost in the English translation. In the West, “sorry” is far more ambiguous and can be used way more interchangeably from casual to grave. 

I have to note that although I’ve studied Japanese for eight years, I’m in no way fluent, so a lot of this is based off of research. I hope someone who does speak Japanese can correct me or offer their own opinions! And I’m really sorry if someone has already talked about this before, I just haven’t seen it around. 

Another tid-bit I believe is that すまない is a word frequently used more by males, and to their friends, which does add another layer onto the whole meaning.

It’s interesting how one word can encapsulate so many meanings, but at the same time frustrating that English has no direct or exact translation for it.

To me, it feels like the apology—in conjunction from a canon standpoint about Matt and Mello’s relationship—is very remorseful, but in a sort of detached way. I don’t think canon-wise that Mello and Matt were necessarily friends, just aquantances. BUT, based on their interactions I do believe there was genuine feelings of gratitude. I feel like Mello’s apology is very much a “excuse me, sorry, thank you” response like you said, but as a sort of…close-aquatance way. If that makes sense. In certain contexts, bosses may use すまない to co-workers as a way to say “excuse me, sorry, thank you”. Matt sort of “worked” for Mello, so that is an interpretation. It could also be taken to mean that Mello (during his final hours, at least) appreciated Matt more than an aquatance, or was just truly greatful for what he did.

Regardless, the word itself does carry heavy regret, a thanks, and an apology.

“Forgive me,” while encasulating the apology and regret part, is a bit heavy in my opinion as it asks for direct forgivness, which I don’t believe is inherent to すまない, but that may just be me. (However, I do think it is the closest).

I think Ohba definitely wrote Matt and Mello as business partners or acquaintances rather than friends, but I think what’s also interesting is that Ohba wrote them to be equals in terms of them working together. So essentially they were more associates rather than Matt working “for” Mello, since the way they talk to one another in canon is different than the way that Mello had treated his mafia men. This also goes into your second point: definitely, すまない is a pretty common phrase used with gruff, masculine men amongst friends and equals (though I do think that it is more common in anime/tv than it is in real life). 

In terms of the Viz translation, I agree that “forgive me” is a tad bit too strong, but I sensed a stronger hint of regret and disbelief in the original Japanese than “I didn’t think you’d be killed,” which I think is what they were trying to make up for. 

With your “I’m so sorry” (which I really like with the hint of heavy nuance!) I also think that there’s that extra hint of “what I’ve done is unforgiveable” and “I’m thankful for what you’ve done” that is still missing from the translation. But we’d have to reword and change up the whole text with voice and emotion in order to carry the nuance forward.

So if I were to just reword it in terms of how I’d write this scene in English rather than as a translation from a pre-existing text, I’d say something like, “Matt… you weren’t supposed to die tonight. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I owe you.” 

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i love mello

thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

yes, I was there for the recording sessions (done virtually). we got to chat with david, drew, and their sound guys - all super kind and fun.

each VA was accompanied by an editor who recorded their respective POVs. I was on as morph’s right hand and we also took our own audio/screen recordings. afterwards, we coordinated with the sound guys to receive audio files and text documents with scene markers.

the between-take convos and adlibs were my favorites. they actually ended up being super important because that’s where we pulled a lot of the breaths, hums, etc. they gave the audio a lot of its substance.