Like a bad Carrie Underwood song

Well then may the best tux win.

You’re on

That could be it. But being on prom court tends to make you a ‘hot commidity’ as far as prom dates go. At least in theory. But it’s also not until May, so there’s plenty of time left for someone to ask you.

That is true. Not that I really care if I go with anyone or not.

Me and Ryder are gonna be Prom King and Queen. Sorry, Wilde. At least you get to save dollars as you don’t have to buy a dress now that you know.

I will be winning Rachel and myself those shiny crowns, even if I have to pull a Tonya Harding to get it. 

Dried fruit?

She’s the cake lady? I don’t get why they’d be mad at that. I’d love to get to eat cake. I think she’d be super popular.

She got beheaded. I don’t think it would work well in my favor, to be honest

I’m going to be King aren’t I?

No, because I will be king.

A dwarf? And no, you’re only a few inches shorter than me. I didn’t mean anything by it. Nearly all dresses have to be hemmed on me as well, even though I’m of completely average height. For a human woman. That’s just how they’re made. But I swear, I wouldn’t let you go to prom looking like an idiot. I don’t have any kind of plot brewing, and I’m pretty sure Rachel or Marley or someone would catch on even if I did. Anyways, girls have to stick together, especially when one of them don’t know anything about dresses and prom. 

Oh, okay. I am just used to the comments made by other humans in this school. It’s odd. My height was seen as an asset at the colonies, because it meant I wouldn't need as much space... or food. Well, that’s good. Rachel and I are going for a pink theme. Thank you, for offering to help me. I’m still learning this human girl stuff.

Oh. Are you positive that the invitation was extended to me? You know we aren’t on pleasant terms as of… well, as of forever and I don’t foresee it changing anytime in the future. If she did, then I’ll think about tagging along. I don’t know how comfortable I would be trying on dresses in front of her. Yes, the catalogue browsing is still a viable option. Can you come over this Friday? We can have a miniature slumber party. Santana and Brittany could join us as well, though I know Brittany is looking for a tuxedo. I say we go for a pink theme. How do you feel about pink?

Yes, the invitation was to me and then to you, with an ‘I guess’ after. She said that girls need to stick together, especially about dresses and prom, and that she hasn’t got any plots, and that the mousey one Marley or yourself would catch her out if she did. So, perhaps this could begin to mend the team’s fences? I promise I will make sure that she does nothing horrible to you, you deserve to look beautiful, like you always do, but even more so with a crown on your head. Yes, I can totally come over on Friday. She’s trying to convince me to get a tuxedo, too. I don’t want to, I like dresses, but is it true that real Kings wear them? Would that mean Ryder would have to wear a dress to be Queen? I love pink, it is one of my favorite new colors.

A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.

Ivy Day was two days ago and I’ve been checking the mailbox faithfully every since.

Congratulations! I know graduation and college is an important part of the school system, and the better school you get into the better your chances of having a better career and life. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that until next year.

I don’t have a wiener body. I have a normal man’s body. Wieners are much rounder. If anything I’d say I have a isosceles triangle body. I just learned about those. I hate math, by the way. Although English is probably the worst. It’s really confusing. All the letters just get all jumbled up. You know, you don’t have to be so mean to me all the time. 

Math is easy, but pointless, at least the math they’re teaching us. English isn’t too difficult, maybe you just can’t read it right? I’m mean to everyone all the time, you should be more than used to it.

Dude, kings usually wear pants. Or at least those giant puffy shirts that kinda make them look like golden Goombas.

... What are Goombas? 

Well the only Queen I’ve ever seen wear a tux was a guy, and he wasn’t even prom Queen, but he was Homecoming Queen. I say just wear whatever makes you feel regal and if someone gives you attitude for it, then… kick them in the shins? Princess-y dresses are fun though. Are you going with a date or are you going solo?

... Why would I want to go with a dried fruit?

That’s better. I think.

Good. I’d hate to terribly offend my people. Don’t want to pull a Marie Antoinette. 

I haven’t really looked out for one, but there has to be a boutique around here somewhere. I think that’s what their called. I know they’re definitely a Target! They have everything. I think there’s a sewing club, too. Maybe they could just make you one!

I’ve heard of Target, and I will not be shopping there for my dress. A sewing club? Maybe they would be willing to help their future King and Queen... Thank you for this information, flops

We’re both going to look amazing on prom night! I have an impressive collection of prom dress catalogues we can browse before we hit the stores, assuming that you wanted to go dress shopping with me. I can promise you that it won’t be nearly as difficult as you think it will be. Though it might take a while to riffle through all the satin and tule, when you find the perfect dress it’s such a rewarding feeling. 

The loud blonde one Quinn, has invited us to go with herself and Marley to go to Angel Grove to look for dresses. But we can definitely look for what we want in these catalogues you have. And of course I want to go with you, that way we can make sure we don’t look like we clash.

It’s cute that you’re trying. I’d tell you to piss off but since it’s still daytime, I’m gonna have to ask you to get back under the bridge you crawled out of until it’s time to terrorize the people of Reefside once the sun goes down.

That sounds like your job, not mine