In a Hell of My Own Making

im gonna try explaining myself, cus im a gambling addict and im waiting for the day that it actually works.

"forgiveness" is personal, that's why I said in the post that you might inflict harm on people for which they can never forgive you, but that's their quest. if you abuse someone, you can't go no-contact with yourself. you actually keep living in your own head indefinitely, and ultimately you need to learn to live with yourself in order to continue living a full life without further harm. this is not necessarily an anti-carceral thought, although i am generally anti-carceral myself. I simply want people to like, fix their heart and atone for real with measured accountability & self love instead of dissociating, self-marking themselves forever and guaranteeing their recidivism.

Even if everyone else has forgiven you for the abuse you did, you must never allow yourself to let what you did be forgiven. Once you've done that, you've gotten to the point where you might do it again.

And if you believe the world works like that one other thing also has to be true: You know you are a ‘good person’, so nothing you ever do could be truly abusive. You could never truly harm another person. And if you did they must have deserved it. Because you are a good person.

And wow, does that not just sound like something abusers usually say, when confronted with their own behavior?

ADAR is the name I earned 🖤

Here it is! My Adar cosplay! A female Adar if you will. This was the most fun cosplay to put together by far after having such a passion for Adar as a character after season 2 of Rings of Power.

Wig from wigisfashion

Ears from thefaceforge

3D prints from jd.forge and files from silversquirrel_1

Material parts sourced and altered from Vinted

Hey tumblr! I'm opening commissions again!

My student loan payments have kicked in and man are they expensive. Unfortunately, job hunting is a pain and I'm waiting to hear back from several potential employers so I'm looking for a little extra money to help pay my other expenses in the mean time.

All info can be found at my commission prices, terms, and example site here!

Still trying to get myself back into art with sketches. I like this one though so maybe I'll come back to it.

Self portrait of me getting “YOU’D” by @thegirlbehindthegasmask