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she who became the sun ( the radiant emperor #1 )  -   shelly parker-chan change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying  tw ;  death , war ,  violence , sexism

‘they say there’s luck in names, and you’ve certainly had luck enough.’

'in my experience, lucky people tend to be the laziest.’

‘where’s the fun in suffering by yourself?’

‘you think you’re that good-looking everyone wants to see you?’

‘desire is the cause of all suffering.’

‘I don’t appreciate being made a puppet for another man’s dirty work.’

‘when I ask myself if future pain is worth it for this life I have now, I always find that it is.’

‘I always knew you had a strong will. but what’s unusual about you is that most strong willed people never understand that will alone isn’t enough to guarantee their survival.’

‘more so than will, survival depends upon an understanding of people and power.’

‘it isn’t strength, but knowledge, that will be our best tool for surviving these difficult times ahead.’

'undoubtedly, chaos brings danger. but there will be opportunities, too.’

‘it’s due to chaos that we’re living through a moment in which even ordinary men can aspire to greatness.’

‘are you going to stab me?’

‘you can’t pray away your fate.’

‘I was merciful. I let you live.’

‘you cause me trouble as well as shame.’

‘you disappoint me.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood. perhaps especially if they’re on our side.’

‘in my father’s eyes, I’ll always be the failure.’

‘(name) is an easy person to love. the world loves him, and he loves the world, because everything in it has always gone right for him.’

‘you and (name) are two unlike things. don’t fool yourself that he can ever understand you.’

‘I know what it’s like to be humiliated.’

‘any kind of fool can stumble into success once or twice.’

‘you two are such a bad match. can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘clever people know when to give in.’

‘if you join his side, you’ll regret it.’

‘how little lives are worth in this war. theirs and ours, both.’

‘you have a lot of feelings in you.’

‘to win a hundred victories, a hundred battles is not the pinnacle of skill. to subdue the enemy without fighting is the pinnacle of skill.’

‘what someone is means nothing about what kind of person they are. truth is in actions.’

‘I didn’t mean to kill. at first.’

‘I wanted to live, so I took a life.’

‘all that means is we have to make this life count.’

‘who did you become, when we were apart?’

‘I might not know you, but I know what you want.’

‘you’ve opened my eyes. there are so many more options than I thought.’

‘you saw something in me that I didn’t know myself.’

‘what kind of man bothers to see potential in a woman, and encourages her despite her own doubts?’

‘rest assured that the only reason I helped you is because it gets me closer to what I want.’

‘you know what’s worse than suffering? not suffering, because you’re not even alive to feel it.’

‘learn to want something for yourself. not what someone says you should want. not what you think you should want.’

‘don’t go through life thinking only of duty. when all we have are these brief spans between our nonexistences, why not make the most of the life you’re living now?’

‘why not make the most of the life you’re living now? the price is worth it.’

‘maybe your suffering is worth whatever it is you want to achieve. but mine wouldn’t be.’

‘that’s all past history. I never think of it.’

‘do you believe that? that one day we’ll be out of a job, because of peace?’

‘have the courage to take power for yourself! do you think it will come to you if you wait?’

‘do you actually believe the idiocy that comes out of your mouth?’

‘you never accepted me for who I am; you never even saw everything I did for you, all because I’m not like (name)!’

‘you always push everyone away. what do you find in it, the loneliness? I couldn’t bear it.’

‘you trust too much. I admire you for it. that you prefer to drawn people closer, rather than push them away. but it’ll get you hurt.’

‘the worst injury you can do to a man is shame him. he can never forget it.’

‘it must have been painful, learning that true wisdom lies in obedience.’

‘are you always thinking do little of me that my defeats seem inevitable?’

‘i’d have thought you’d be the last to cry about (name’s) fate. why can’t we just stand back and let it happen?’

‘so you’re going to save (name) from himself?’

‘and here I thought I was the only one who got manipulated by pretty girls.’

‘why are you lowering yourself by dirtying your hands like this? let someone else take care of this trash.’

‘you were only ever a pretender. you only sat on a pretend throne.’

‘why do we have to play these awful games? what for?’

‘what does anyone want but to be on top, untouchable?’

‘who do you think I am, to think I can make anything happen in my own life? i’m a woman.’

‘I know you don’t want that life. a different one isn’t impossible.’

‘you have something I don’t; you feel for others, even the ones you don’t like.’

‘you want me to believe you’re different. that you can give me something different. but how can I trust that? I can’t.’

‘are you fool enough to believe the future will match your dream of it, with no consideration of the reality of the situation?’

‘I don’t admit anything! I don’t need to! you’ve already made up your mind!’

‘you can’t reason with fools who refuse to see reason.’

‘he was right about you. you’re worthless. worse than that; a curse.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth. and there is nothing worth more than a father.’

‘(name) would never put himself on the line for me, or anyone else. but you, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?’

‘i’ve wanted and struggled and suffered for that fate my whole life. I’m not going to stop now.’

‘you are trouble. I’ve never met anyone more trouble than you,’

‘are you so certain of the possibility of change? it seems to me the outcome is inevitable.’

‘what I want has nothing to do with who wins.’

‘every time the world turns its face from you, know it was because of me.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it. i’ll give it to you.’

‘I have everything I need. whereas you, — you still need me.’

‘nobody expected anything of me. nobody ever cherished me.’

‘I cherish you.’

‘you think you understand me. but don’t forget it goes both ways. like knows like; like is connected to like. I understand you, too.’

‘pure emotions are the luxury of children and animals.’

‘more fool I am, to hope against hope for a change in his nature, that he might actually try to be useful.’

‘I presume you’re not here to kill me.’

‘you think you have power over me because you know a secret. but you don’t.’

‘how can something like that stop me, destroy me, when nothing else has?’

‘look at me and see the person who will win. the person who will rule.’

‘I presume you realize how much I dislike you. wasn’t the last where I said I wanted to kill you clear enough?’

‘you betray you ignorance in less than a sentence.’

‘how willing you were to think the worst of me. why aren’t you happier? i’m just being who you’ve always though I was. i’m giving you the ending you believed in.’

‘the times and means of our deaths have always been fixed, and this is yours.’

‘even the most shining future, if desired, will have suffering at its heart.’

‘i’ll follow you, as far as you want to go.’

‘I wasn’t born with the promise of greatness either. but I have it now. because I wanted it. because I’m strong, because I’ve struggled and suffered to become the person I need to me, and because I do want needs to be done.’

‘you said you’d be different. you lied to me.’

‘when you did this, did you even stop to think about how it might make me feel to bear witness for what you think is justified?’

‘I want what I want, and sometimes I’m going to have to do certain things to get it.’

do you understand this feeling ?

I desire the company of someone who could sympathize with me.

I shall do nothing rashly.

remember me with affection, should you never hear from me again.

I will not rashly encounter danger. I will be cool, persevering, & prudent.

will you have the kindness to inform me whither you are bound ?

I have lost everything, & cannot begin life anew.

you may easily perceive, [name], that I have suffered great & unparalleled misfortunes.

with what interest & sympathy shall I read it in some future day !

the world was to me a secret, which I desired to discover.

it was the secrets of heaven & earth that I desired to learn

no youth could have passed more happily than mine.

do not waste your time upon this ; it is sad trash.

I believed myself totally unfitted for the company of strangers.

have you really spent your time in studying such nonsense ?

I am happy to have gained a disciple.

remember, I am not recording the vision of a madman.

a resistless, & almost frantic impulse, urged me forward.

you must pardon me, if I regard any interruption in your correspondence as a proof that your other duties are equally neglected.

how can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe ?

how glad I am to see you !

it gives me the greatest delight to see you.

you look as if you had been watching for several nights.

how ill you are !

what is the cause of all this ?

oh, save me ! save me !

I dare say you wish to be indulged in a little gossip.

are you always to be unhappy ?

my dear friend, what has happened ?

even cato wept over the dead body of his brother.

I am afraid, tears instead of smiles will be your welcome.

I do not know what you mean.

no one believes it, surely ?

did the murderer place it there ?

I cannot go alone.

I did confess, but I confessed a lie.

I hope you do not believe I am guilty.

I cannot live in this world of misery.

Do you think that I do not suffer also?

men appear to me as monsters thirsting for each other’s blood.

I would sacrifice my life for your peace.

devil ! do you dare approach me?

begone, vile insect!

I expected this reception.

all men hate the wretched.

abhorred monster !

be calm ! I entreat you to hear me.

have I not suffered enough?

I do not wish to hate you.

I was benevolent & good ; misery made me a fiend.

make me happy, & I shall again be virtuous.

you, my creator, abhor me ; what hope can I gather from your fellow-creatures, who owe me nothing ?

cursed be the day, abhorred devil, in which you first saw light !

relieve me from the sight of your detested form !

I ought to be thy adam, but I am rather the fallen angel.

I stared back, unable to believe that it was indeed I who was reflected in the mirror.

was I then a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fled, & whom all men disowned ?

cursed creator ! why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust ?

pardon this intrusion, I am a traveler in want of a little rest.

I thank you, & accept your generous offer

at length the thought of you crossed my mind.

to whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life ?

I do not intend to hurt you.

I am content to reason with you.

if I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear.

I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you curse the hour of your birth.

this is what it is to live !

where does he now exist ? is this gentle & lovely being lost forever ?

does it now only exist in my memory ?

I could pass my life here.

I had rather be with you.

hasten then, my dear friend, to return, so that I may again feel myself somewhat at home, which I cannot do in your absence.

had I the right, for my own benefit, to inflict this curse upon everlasting generations ?

what is it that you intend ?

do you dare to break your promise ?

I can make you so wretched that the light of day will be hateful to you.

beware ; for I am fearless, & therefore powerful.

I will be with you on your wedding night.

villain ! before you sign my death-warrant, be sure that you are yourself safe.

why do you answer me so roughly ?

why did I not die ?

are you better now ?

I am sorry that I am still alive to feel this misery & horror.

can I do any thing to make you more comfortable ?

on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.

persecuted & tortured as I am & have been, can death be any evil to me ?

a fatality seems to pursue you.

do you not love another ?

it is your happiness I desire as well as my own.

if I see but one smile on your lips when we meet, I shall need no other happiness.

you are sorrowful, my love.

this night is dreadful, very dreadful.

why did I not then expire ?

I am satisfied, miserable wretch ! you have determined to live, & I am satisfied.

for many months this has been my task.

my reign is not yet over.

learn my miseries, & do not seek to increase your own.

do you think that I was then dead to agony & remorse ?

you throw a torch into a pile of buildings, & when they are consumed you sit among the ruins, & lament the fall.

but it is even so ; the fallen angel becomes a malignant devil.

you hate me ; but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself.

ₓ ˚ .   ୭   ˚ ○ ◦ ˚     as always, some triggering content may be present! change any pronouns to better suit your muse(s) needs!     ˚ ◦ ○ ˚   ୧   . ˚ ₓ

all i used to do was pray.

we survived the great war.

we were supposed to be just friends.

karma’s gonna track you down.

i don’t dress for men.

‘cause i care.

i feel you, no matter what.

i told you none of it was accidental.

i vowed i would always be yours.

someone told his white-collar crimes to the fbi.

'cause it’s all over.

i’m only cryptic and machiavellian.

we were somewhere else.

you handle it beautifully.

let’s dance.

what’s a girl gonna do?

what could’ve been, would’ve been you.

i lost you.

it turned into something bigger.

that’s a real fucking legacy to leave.

do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

you’ve got no reason to be afraid.

did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

i wake up screaming from dreaming.

i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say.

i can’t let this go.

i prefer hiding in plain sight.

i end up in crisis.

my hand was the one you reached for.

checkmate, i couldn’t lose.

you’re talking shit for the hell of it.

every single one of your friends was making fun of you.

draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man.

no one wanted to play with me as a little kid.

you would break your back to make me break a smile.

now that i know, i wish you’d left me wondering.

i hosted parties and starved my body.

i vow i will always be yours.

you said i have to trust more freely.

sadness became my whole sky.

it’s just a question.

i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror.

it’s like snow at the beach.

there were pages turned with the bridges burned.

if i was a child, did it matter?

what if i told you i’m a mastermind?

i think it’s time to teach some lessons.

i see you every day now.

i’m the wind in our free-flowing sails.

the system’s breaking down.

i keep my side of the street clean.

the jokes weren’t funny.

did some force take you bеcause i didn’t pray?

somewhere in the haze, got a sense i’d been betrayed.

do you wish you could still touch her?

i remember.

a diamond’s gotta shine.

it’s me, hi.

i will always be yours.

maybe it was her.

you know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love.

some guy said my aura’s moonstone.

you wouldn’t know what i mean.

he was sunshine, i was midnight rain.

i don’t dress for villains.

we were born to be the pawn.

you were on something.

i saw something they can’t take away.

you’re on your own, kid.

i wake with your memory over me.

if clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die?

yeah, all you did was smile.

yeah, you can face this.

by the way, i’m going out tonight.

you were bigger than the whole sky.

i saw flecks of what could’ve been lights.

pierced through the heart, but never killed.

you said i was freeloading.

how’d we end up on the floor, anyway?

turns out, it was that guy you hooked up with ages ago.

lately, i’ve been dressing’ for revenge.

my pennies made your crown.

he never thinks of me.

did you see the photos?“

i feel the lavender haze creeping up on me.

do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

i just wanna stay.

ain’t that the way shit always ends?

time can’t stop me quite like you did.

i think i’ve been too good of a girl.

did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve.

i really thought i’d lost you.

saw a wide smirk on your face.

life is emotionally abusive.

don’t get sad, get even.

god rest my soul.

i broke his heart 'cause he was nice.

i miss you.

i’m on my vigilante shit again.

you’re a crisis of my faith.

seemed like the right thing at the time.

you might have to wait in line.

i could still say, "i don’t remember”.

you should be doing more.

i have this thing where i get older, but just never wiser.

i didn’t choose this town, i dream of getting out.

i just may like some explanations.

i just may like to have a conversation.

they said the end is coming.

we can plant a memory garden.

one day, i’ll watch as you’re leaving.

best believe i’m still bejeweled.

life will lose all its meaning.

we lost track of time again.

it’s okay, we’re the best of friends.

i’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing.

i think there’s been a glitch.

i’m not even sorry.

you know how scared i am of elevators.

sometimes i wonder which one’ll be your last lie.

i was taken by the view.

karma’s a relaxing thought.

can i ask you a question?

it’s fine to fake it 'til you make it.

it must be counterfeit.

i’m unglued, thanks to you.

maybe it was egos swinging.

that’s nice, i’m sure that’s what’s suitable.

she’s laughing up at us from hell.

you should find another.

he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain.

i can still make the whole place shimmer.

diesel is desire, you were playing with fire.

this is the first time i’ve felt the need to confess.

no one sees when you lose when you’re playing solitaire.

'cause i’m a mastermind.

they’re bringing up my history.

you don’t ever say too much.

now that i’m grown, i’m scared of ghosts.

i could’ve gone on as i was.

putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five.

i’ve never seen someone lit from within.

i don’t dress for friends.

there’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair.

i play it cool with the best of them.

sit quiet by my side in the shade.

never trust it if it rises fast.

i touch my phone as if it’s your face.

addicted to betrayal, but you’re relevant.

i chose you.

i never think of him.

this happens all the time.

you got tired of my scheming.

i knew i wanted your body.

but for him, it’s every day.

it might just have been you.

she needed cold, hard proof, so i gave her some.

i fight with you in my sleep.

i don’t remember who i was.

ladies know what people want.

ladies always rise above.

that means you did it right.

you don’t have to answer.

i think i’ve been a little too kind.

i’m so in love that i might stop breathing.

i gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this.

everything you lose is a step you take.

maybe it’s the past that’s talking.

get it off your chest.

all the stars aligned.

it can’t last.

we almost forgot it.

it only hurts this much right now.

i’ve got a lot to pine about.

did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism?

pick somewhere and just run.

i vowed not to fight anymore.

the wound won’t close.

i’ve got a lot to live without.

make sure you don’t miss.

you and i ended up in the same room.

i picked the petals, he loves me not.

meet me at midnight.

ask me what i learned from all those years.

i swear that it was something.

all the outfits were terrible.

it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.

i’ll be gettin’ over you my whole life.

it’s all over now, all out to sea.

i’d pay if you’d just know me.

no deal.

i waited ages to see you there.

i regret you all the time.

all that you ever wanted from me was nothing.

i made you my world, have you heard?

now you’re mine.

every single thing i touch becomes sick with sadness.

i don’t even dare to wish it.

to you, i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it.

that was the night i nearly lost you.

i’m the problem, it’s me.

i thought the plane was going down.

every single thing to come has turned into ashes.

so i justified it.

i wrote a poem.

we will never go back.

you tried to erase us.

tonight feels impossible.

i have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money.

you wouldn’t take my word for it if you knew who was talking.

he was sunshine, i was midnight rain.

aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?

give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

i bent the truth too far tonight.

my town was a wasteland.

you were more than just a short time.

you should find another.

she looks so pretty.

he wanted a bride, i was making my own name.

they said the end is coming.

can this be a real thing?

did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?

i took the money.

if you never touched me, i would’ve.

i should not be left to my own devices.

the god’s honest truth is that the pain was heaven.

you knew the entire time.

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

i damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil.

never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.

i polish up nice.

you can try to change my mind.

my friends from home don’t know what to say.

you don’t live in my part of town, but maybe i’ll see you out some weekend.

she thinks i left them in the will.

you made me feel important.

i wanna brainwash you.

i’m a monster on the hill.

i’m falling in love again.

i’ll run away.

don’t put mе in the basement.

me and karma vibe like that.

i miss who i used to be.

midnights become my afternoons.

get it off my desk.

picture me, thick as thieves, with your ex-wife.

i keep on waiting for a sign.

i don’t dress for women.

memories feel like weapons.

i’m fastening myself to you with a stitch.

i been under scrutiny.

then what did you do?

we had one thing going on.

my flight was awful, thanks for asking.

i find it dizzying.

all of me changed like midnight.

you weren’t even listening.

what could’ve been, would’ve been.

she was on your mind with some dickhead guy.

everybody just expects me to bounce back.

it’s coming back around.

i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since.

i spy with my little tired eye..

do you really wanna know where i was april 29th?

i don’t start shit, but i can tell you how it ends.

i thought we had no chance.

ask me what i earned from all those tears.

i hear it in your voice, you’re smoking with your boys.

all this shit is new to me.

you knew that i’m a mastermind.

had to do it this way.

if i’d only played it safe.

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours.

it only feels this raw right now.

nothing was gonna stop me.

was what i was thinking the whole time?

i can’t speak, afraid to jinx it.

they say looks can kill and i might try.

you did some bad things, but i’m the worst of them.

do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?

it’s never enough.

but for some, it was paradise.

i didn’t know you were keeping count.

everyone’s up to something.

there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love.

i vowed not to cry anymore.

what if i told you none of it was accidental?

how the hell did we lose sight of us again?

it was one drink after another.

i would’ve stayed on my knees.

don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price?

big city, wrong choices.

living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.

ₓ ˚ .   ୭   ˚ ○ ◦ ˚     as always, some triggering content may be present! change any pronouns to better suit your muse(s) needs!     ˚ ◦ ○ ˚   ୧   . ˚ ₓ

do you really wanna die here?

ain't that a bitch?

i'm sorry to say that no one is that good!

you keen on earning a coin?

fuck off.

either way, you and me, we'll be even.

can't track it, can't hack it, can't trace it.

have you given any thought to where this ends?

why don't you take the night off?

i am the way into eternal pain.

nothing's ever just a conversation with you.

weren't you the one tasked to dole out the beatings, not to receive them?

i'd like to see the manager.

i'm going to kill you.

will you be putting a bullet in his head?

i guess it's time i told you to climb down off your high table and go fuck yourself.

just have fun out there.

you always have an angle, don't you?

you dip so much as a pinky back into this pond, you may well find something reaches out and drags you back into its depths.

it was an honor, my friend.

raise a hand if you can hear me.

how good is your laundry?

yeah. don't worry about me.

people don't change. you know that.

do i look civilized to you?

this kingdom is mine and mine alone.

he shot my dog.

you stand in the presence of the motherfucking king!

you can either hand over your kid, or you can die screaming alongside him!

have you thought this through? i mean, chewed down to the bone?

if you cut a king, you better cut him to the quick.

i'll have to get back to you.

you don't want me owing you.

there's no rhyme or reason to this life, it's days like today scattered among the rest.

they sure as fuck broke the mold with you.

people keep asking if i'm back and i haven't really had an answer.

enjoy your kingdom, while you still can.

the knife is in your aorta. you pull it out, you will bleed and you will die.

i know what you're thinking.

are services still off limits to me?

it should have been me.

you still need something to love.

if you still have business to attend to, take two of these beforehand.

how may i be of service?

do i know you?

you working again?

after this, we are less than even.

and here i'd feared you'd left all this behind.

i'm gonna shove so much fealty up your ass it's gonna come spilling out of your mouth.

you've broken the rules.

vengeance is all you have left.

do enjoy your party.

fourteen million is a lot of money.

your stitches will tear and you'll bleed, but you'll have full function.

i apologize for calling you at this hour.

i would've done the same thing if i was in his shoes.

let us not resort to our baser instincts.

so tell me, how was life on the other side?

i say the odds are about even.

you killed my ward, someone i was close to.

whoever comes, whoever it is: i'll kill them. i'll kill them all.

you got out once.

it's not what you did that angers me so, it's who you did it to.

i can't help you.

i just gotta catch my breath.

are you here on business?

all of this, for what?

treat all your ladies like this?

i can make this right.

okay. you made your point.

consider this a professional courtesy.

it's been a while. my condolences. how're you holding up?

i want to kill him.

management does not take kindly to that sort of behavior.

avert your eyes, my sweet.

so i guess you have a choice.

that was a pretty good fight, huh?

i'm afraid you've come all this way for nothing.

i have a job for you.

as you know, art is pain—life is suffering.

i'll make it quick, i promise.

sometimes you gotta cut a motherfucker.

you fail to understand.

they will come for you, and you will do nothing because you can do nothing.

it's okay. let's go home.

i still have time.

do you think you can scare me into opening this gate?

it seems to be fate, or happenstance, or just bad fucking luck caused our paths to cross once again.

you had your chance.

i was just sorting some stuff out.

i can do this! please!

i'm sorry i can't be there for you.

where the fuck are you?

i'm just asking you to try.

they know you're coming.

in that moment, i received some semblance of hope.

you came to me, i helped you. if you don't do this, you know the consequences.

you were always a pussy.

if you want peace, prepare for war.

everything's got a price.

i'm not telling you shit!

may i suggest a drink? bourbon perhaps?

an eye for an eye, you know how it goes.

second chances are the refuge for men who fail.

you may never return home.

you're going to die.

i'm sorry.

my apologies. i was dealing with an uninvited guest.

i look retired.

oh, and remember, you owe me.

that's unwise, i assure you.

we can keep this up as long as you'd like, but it only ends one way.

you arrogant asshole.

none of us can escape who we are.

you wanted me back, i'm back!

those who cling to death, live.

no one, not even you, can kill everyone.

is this a formal event or a social affair?

get the fuck out of my sight!

remember your daughter…

just checking up on an old friend.

we are cursed, you and i.

my allegiances run way beyond this building.

are you scared of the fucking boogeyman?

you want a war? or do you wanna just give me a gun?

what happened? we were professionals… civilized.

oh, shit. they took a finger.

how you do anything is how you do everything.

i'll leave you to it, then.

you look good.

i know the kindest thing is to leave you alone.

i’ve run out of words.

i could try to calm you down, but i know you won’t.

i’ll darn you back together when you think that you’re bereft.

i’ll never stop ‘cause it’s all that i have left.

i pray to god it’s the kindest thing.

it all comes down to you.

you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments at you and yours, forever asking more.

you are that space that’s in between every page, every cord, every screen.

they thought us blind. we were just blinking.

all the stones and kings of old will hear us screaming at the cold.

remember me, remember me, remember me, remember me.

give me back my heart, you wingless thing.

think of all the horrors that i promised you i’d bring.

witness me, old man. i am the wind.

i am time itself, i slow to let you play. i steal the hours and turn the night into day.

without you, i’m stronger.

this time, we’re done for.

let’s hide under the covers. we don’t know what’s out there.

the candle we lit, we’ll use to burn this whole place to the ground.

what’s it like? it’s just like falling snow.

i’ll be with you all along, as long as you are kind.

just because i left doesn’t mean that i’m not still there.

how could you leave me here?

hey, darling, hey.

i’m the hardest goodbye that you’ll ever have to say.

i promise you i’ll be better. i promise you i’ll try.

like rubbing wine stains into rugs it’s my curse, to try and make it right, but by trying make it worse.

our gods have abandoned us, left us.

goodbye to all my darkness. there’s nothing here but light.

i try so hard to make you laugh at me.

it’s not fair. it’s not fair how much i love you.

how unreasonably in love i am with everything you do.

i’ve seen enough, i know exactly what i want and it’s this life that we’ve created.

dear heart, it’s me, it’s me. you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.

for some godforsaken reason, i’m still here, like i’ve always been before.

you try so loud to love me, but i cannot seem to hear.

can’t you hear that scratching? there’s something at the door.

be good to me.

that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out.

if we join our hands in prayer enough, to god i imagine it all starts to sound like applause.

you couldn’t lie then, and you sure as hell can’t lie to me now.

i’m at the brink, don’t laugh.

who died and made you king of it all?

you’ve a knack for applause from the back of the stalls but you lack the conviction to look at me straight and say yes.

look at me as you say this, don’t look at your phone.

we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears.

god knows how you dragged us both into the darkness that grows.

leave without a fight. i won’t let you turn our last night into this.

this isn’t a break up, it’s a season finale.

it took laying with the devil and looking him straight in the eyes for me to seek and truly know the grace of god.

won’t you save me from my soul?

am i the righteous or the damned?

was all of my suffering in vain?

have mercy on me.

i fear that i have been laying with the devil.

please, forgive me for what i am about to do.

i’ll burn in hell for you.

can you hear my voice?

i would have loved you for a thousand years.

i would have sacrificed it all, my dear.

i would have bled for you.

you were unholy right from the start.

i heard your cry and i just knew.

who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil?

you keep pushing me right to the edge.

you blame me for everything you hate.

go ahead, blame me for your sins. sacrifice me. make me your martyr.

what do you want from me?

i am here to set you free.

i wanna drown in your wrath and fury.

i feel your need.

i taste your pain.

i can see the way you look at me.

what do you see?

let me share your pain.

don’t you see the way i look at you?

i wear my halo in disguise.

you must burn for what you’ve become.

you look at me like i’m a revelation.

you want to know if i can bring salvation.

you want to know if i’m a friend or an enemy.

i can be your heavenly or i can be your hell.

i can take away your breath or i can bring you back to life.

i think it’s funny when you preach damnation.

without the darkness there’d be no light in me.

the simple truth is that i just don’t give a fuck.

tell me, do you feel satisfied?

did you get what you came here for?

i can tell you still want more.

did you think i’d just let you leave?

how did i become my own demise?

❝ here’s where i’ll be raising my kids, if i can find someone to start a family with.❞

❝ i dream of the day my odds and ends fit. ❞

❝ my mind’s not one bite smaller or lesser than yours. ❞

❝ do i belong in “right and wrong”? ❞

❝ one hungry day is nothing, come what may. ❞

❝ i’ll make it through again. i have before. what’s one more? ❞

❝ was that all there was to this? ❞

❝ what’s the moon made of? ❞

❝ one dies alone, and why? ❞

❝ don’t take the following words as reverence for tradition… ❞

❝ i’ve learned to pick my battles by losing most i’ve fought. ❞

❝ i’ll always do it my way, even if that’s just the same way i was taught. ❞

❝ can you believe we really made it? ❞

❝ i want to be just like my parents before i was born ❞

❝ can we be just like my parents? ❞

❝ yeah, i mean sure, my parents messed me up. but i think that’s just the gig. ❞

❝ i’d like to just lay down. ❞

❝ marriage always scared me, but i’d like to have a last love. ❞

❝ love can last a pretty good long while. i’ve seen it around. ❞

❝ tongue out of my cheek now. i’m done pulling faces. ❞

❝ what do i know bout forever, when so far, i’ve been so fleeting? ❞

❝ if you want a hyphen last name, i guess i don’t mind the cadence. ❞

❝ i’ve forgotten all their names, so why should you remember me? ❞

❝ if we grow old together will you talk to my headstone? that is, assuming that i die first.  ❞

❝ god knows crying ain’t gonna change a thing. ❞

❝ it just feels inhumane to lose this much. ❞

❝ when you leave, you know you take more than your love. ❞

❝ my sponsor said “do nothing. nothing works.” ❞

❝ my doctor said “don’t do that if it hurts.” ❞

❝ let all my red flags fade to white. i give up. ❞

❝ okay, i’ll pack my stuff. ❞

❝ it feels damn inhumane to get all i’ve dreamed of. ❞

❝ one day at a time. tomorrow’s too late. ❞

❝ i know that i’m wrong. ❞

❝ when you’re gone, you’re gone. ❞

❝ i want to believe that you’ll remember me when you’re just memory. ❞

❝ i would take it back if i could. ❞

❝ it’ll all be over soon. ❞

❝ i’d never let a bad thing happen to you. ❞

❝ everybody dies fighting for their lives, just trying to survive. ❞

❝ i’m gripping the grass and i’m pulling up daisies. ❞

❝ would or could the impact kill me? ❞

❝ be the next big constellation, connect the dots between your parts. ❞

❝ dandelion seeds get to ride on the breeze… you make a wish upon the dead, but turn and call it a weed. ❞

❝ only plastic flowers never die. ❞

❝ what do you know of control? the wind is simply at your back. ❞

❝ i ain’t saying it’s fate, but there are no mistakes. ❞

❝ is now really a good time for a new tattoo? ❞

❝ the larger they are, the harder they tend to fall. ❞

❝ from such height, life looks awful small. ❞

❝ magic mushrooms grow in piles of bullshit. ❞

❝ my private inside joke, sign the cast on my funny bone. ❞

❝ haunt my bedroom at night and say “let’s get you home.” ❞

❝ oh my god, what’s wrong with me? ❞

❝ i’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me. ❞

❝ you seemed fine just a few days ago. ❞

❝ never mind, you win! ❞

❝ far too late came far too soon. ❞

❝ the love you never made became the things you’d never do. ❞

❝ go on back to bed my love, that’s where dreams are supposed to be. ❞

❝ are you at all like me? do you know what i mean, or am i too close to see? ❞

❝ alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home. ❞

❝ i’m afraid of leaving my house. ❞

❝ i’m afraid of losing my mind. ❞

❝ i’ve never been afraid of no one breaking my heart. not like i’m bout to fall and cut my throat on the shards ❞

❝ i’m afraid of damn near everything. ❞

❝ hold me like a tourniquet. ❞

❝ i love you so much it scares me half to death. ❞

❝ i’m not used to this, how did this happen? ❞

❝ i love you so much it scares me half to death. the other half i guess i’m giving to you. ❞

❝ i’m afraid that you’ll change your mind. ❞

❝ i’m afraid of four-letter words like love, for, and ever… or whatever. ❞

❝ i’m afraid you’ll notice my flaws. i’m afraid you already have, obviously. ❞

❝ hold me at claw’s length, baby. ❞

❝ i’m not used to fear of losing something i hold dear. ❞

❝ i’m no survivor, i only happened to survive. ❞

❝ i was drunk when i made my bed. now with a half-decade hangover, i lay down in it. ❞

❝ what have i done? ❞

❝ it’s either this, in jail, or dead. ❞

❝ jesus christ, my aching head… ❞

❝ i’ve been feeling awful since i hit bottom and said “hand me my shovel, i’m going in.” ❞

❝ man, you call that recovered? ❞

❝ broke my neck on the backs of those who i’ve hurt and scared. ❞

❝ i’d rather be anybody else instead. ❞

❝ please believe me when i say i poured my whole past down the drain. ❞

❝ i can’t make amends for things i don’t remember. ❞

❝ i can only say i’m sorry and occasionally pray. ❞

❝ guess you’ll just have to take my word that i’ve changed. ❞

❝ i’m turning over the same old leaf again. ❞

❝ if it weren’t for the everything, then anything could happen. ❞

❝ if anybody needs me, i’ll be in my coffin. ❞

❝ i’m sorry for the things i’ve done and all i ask of you. ❞

❝ maybe i should switch up the style of my mistakes. ❞

❝ i’d kill the man i am for one more chance to be yours. ❞

❝ i ain’t begging. i’m just saying it’s an option. ❞

❝ breaking news: the news is broken. ❞

❝ sign this petition to remove content warnings from civil war statues! ❞

❝ funny how you all have so much in common. ❞

❝ the age of aquarius has arrived. the end is nigh. ❞

❝ i’m that first-person they talk about in all the books. ❞

❝ i wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don’t do it by it. ❞

❝ so now i’m holding myself hostage… ❞

❝ enough lefts don’t make the right, but two wrongs do. ❞

❝ oh man, sun tzu would love this. ❞

❝ if you shake your fist at snakes in grass, it looks like punching down. ❞

❝ god forbid i’m seen just as an average human being. ❞

❝ i’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy. ❞

❝ i’m the main character, and you have to like me. ❞

❝ look in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s super-ego! ❞

❝ villains are everywhere, that’s how i know i’m the hero. ❞

❝ we all do what we need to to get through, but i ain’t done a fucking thing to you. ❞

❝ i don’t owe you my heart, and i don’t owe you my body, but you should know that i’m sorry for being careless with you. ❞

❝ lord knows i owed you more than i’m pretty sure i ever could give anybody. ❞

❝ i swear i’m really trying. ❞

❝ it just don’t come natural to me to think that you’d want me for me. ❞

❝ i just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet. ❞

❝ i only know that i’m still lonely, that morbid sort where even company can’t cure me. ❞

❝ you gave me your heart, i only gave you my body. ❞

❝ i’m not a real person, just the shit you can’t make up. ❞

❝ i’m just as exposed if i take off my clothes when we make the closest thing to love that i’m capable of. ❞

❝ how did i cause so much harm? ❞

❝ i know you got scars of your own. ❞

❝ i’ll either live or die alone. ❞

❝ i swear i will die trying. ❞

❝ i’m still in the process, but i’m making progress. ❞

❝ i honestly want to prove improvement’s possible. ❞

❝ i swear i’m so fucking sorry. ❞

❝ i’m not a good person, i’m barely a person at all. ❞

❝ tell me, what kind of living legend would only want a living wage? ❞

❝ i just turned twenty-seven, and i’m dying of old age. ❞

❝ guess i’m just selfish… i wanna have but not be had. ❞

❝ it’s not a gift if you pay for it, but i don’t want no charity. ❞

❝ i spent all my years to end up right here, and now i really think i’d rather leave. ❞

❝ i hate sex, i hate drugs, and i hate rock'n'roll. ❞

❝ i hate proving that i’m still human after all. ❞

❝ it’s the death of the author, you read between white chalk outlines. ❞

❝ go ahead, sure, drink my kool-aid. it wouldn’t mix well with my meds. ❞

❝ i hate to be “that guy,” but i’m not that guy anymore, and i made god damn sure he’s dead. ❞

❝ i’ve nearly cried for moths that die at porch light lamps. ❞

❝ i have been stepped on so many times, it’s started to feel like my place. ❞

❝ is there room for me in your cage? ❞

❝ animals are people too, but these people are animals. ❞

❝ it’s awful out here, ____. ❞

❝ i’ve never understood what humans do and want. it’s quite confusing to me to try to connect. ❞

❝ frustration makes me wish my teeth were sharp as yours. ❞

❝ you’ve got a friend in me. let’s go make more enemies. ❞

❝ you’re not meant to sing along, it isn’t that kind of song. ❞

❝ if you listen closely, i swear to god… i swear you can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear. ❞

❝ it’s theoretically dense, it’s impressive, it’s microtonal and it challenges western notions of art. ❞

❝ it makes no statement, but does so quite loudly. ❞

❝ it’s an aesthetic, i mean an anesthetic. ❞

❝ it begs the question just to tell you the answer. ❞

❝ if you walk the walk, can you talk more quiet? ❞

❝ you fill your head with thoughts you find you can’t even feel. ❞