Believe in yourself, Wally.

Therapists lose their clients by doing their job

your clothes only get stuck in the door handles when you are in a bad mood

The “I have to pee” dance is probably the oldest and most up to date dance in the world.

The biggest peer pressure as kids wasn’t drugs or alcohol it was everyone inside the exam flipping to the second page when your still on the first damn question

Kids comedies do adult jokes much better than adult comedies.

People say that “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But nobody ever mentions that it could also make you more bitter, apathetic and detached from the rest of society.

People who actually donate to Wikipedia are the real heroes of our time.

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

good news!

Is it possible to be too tired to sleep? Asking for a friend.