Here for lurks and laughs

Oh. Naomi I’m so       sorry. 

I didn't -- I never wanted to kill anyone. He was really brave. He was finally in control when he shifted...he went after them when they attacked me, they offered him a way out even... It was...he --

I’ll have their worthless heads on a pike for what they’ve done. — I, he loved you didn’t he? 

They're -- we killed them.

It wasn't an accident. There were vampires...they attacked us, and he fought them off.

God, she knew it all too well—and she wasn’t sure her words offered any comfort. Scooting closer to the girl, Harper wrapped one arm around Naomi’s tiny frame. “You don’t have to feel better right away, Naomi, and don’t ever push yourself for something you’re not ready yet. But Jett gave you a chance not a lot of people are given, a chance he made sure you had,” she said gently. At her confession, Harper really didn’t expect any different. Nodding slightly, she pulled her into another hug as though she was trying to shield her, or trying to keep her together before she could slip away. “I know, Naomi. I know,” she uttered, chin resting on blonde hairs.

Naomi shook her head against the girl's shoulder, grateful she wasn't expecting her to be okay with this. "I don't know if I'm ever going to feel better." she said, her voice cracking on the last word as she tried to think of how this was ever going to improve. The blonde just scooted closer to Harper, burying her face in the other girl's chest, wanting to just stay like that until everything stopped hurting. Suddenly she realized something and her breathing sped up, "Oh god. How can I go back to our apartment? I can't go back there." Her eyes looked around, frantically imagining having to go inside their place. "They're going to hate me at the manor...I don't know where I'm gonna go." she said desperately.

Chances are you would be dead too now. And Jett would have died for nothing.

But I hate that he died for me. That it was because of me.

"If you two hadn’t been together, you wouldn’t have anything to remember him by. If you and Jett hadn’t been together all the times you were happy with him, all the times he made your heart skip a beat… all the times you laughed together—they would be gone. If you and Jett hadn’t been together, he wouldn’t have experienced a happiness only you endowed, he wouldn’t have been loved in the way that only you did. Would you really rather not have met him at all? In a different universe where you probably wouldn’t have shred a tear for him?” Frankly, Harper wasn’t sure where she was going with this. Right now, she knew that Naomi would change everything and anything to get him back—a feeling she was very well accustomed to—but perhaps focusing in the good, full of life memories could grant some ease, even if it were grain sized. “I—I don’t know. Just let his family know. If anyone else from outside that circle wants to know, I guess that’s their business. You need to look after yourself, Naomi. Reliving what happened over and over again won’t do you any good.”

Naomi listened quietly to Harper's words, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to remember all the happy memories she was talking about. If she hadn't met Jett her life wouldn't have been nearly as good; he'd brought so much happiness into her life that she didn't want to forget. But every time she managed to picture a good memory, it was quickly replaced by the image of him on her lap in the woods. "It wouldn't hurt so much." she said quietly, again trying to wipe away at her tears. But she had to admit Harper had a point, "But I'm glad I knew him." her voice cracked at the past tense word, hating how it sounded coming out of her mouth and realizing that it was how she had to refer to him now. She nodded a little at her suggestion; she couldn't imagine telling Brooklyn or Graham or any of the Smythes, but knew she had to. "I keep reliving it anyway." she admitted softly.

His hands trembled slightly, awkwardly trying to find a place to rest on her back, but everything felt wrong— where could he put his hands on someone who was hurting everywhere —and he realized that he didn’t know what to do either. 

Naomi could tell Adam didn't really know what to do, and she had to admit she wouldn't know either. She was a wreck; she couldn't take big enough breaths to stop her head from hurting, there wasn't a dry spot on her face, and she was missing a huge chunk of her heart. She shook her head at his words, how was she ever going to be okay? How was she going to live in this town when everywhere and everything reminded her of him? "How?" she asked in a whisper.

What for? It’s not you who killed him.

I still should have stopped them.

You know, it’s alright to talk. You don’t have to be a broody boring old werewolf like myself and don’t talk.

I'm sorry.

Adam felt his face slowly lose color, his fingers going numb as he tried to read for Naomi. The world around him seemed to swirl into uncertainty—somehow he found a way to wrap his arms around her. Somehow he found himself mumbling apologies. Somehow this felt like the wrong thing to do—like he should have known what to do, like she was depending on him to cure her and all he could do was share her pain rather than take it away. It was no surprise that he wasn’t good with situations like this. And for someone who never knew what to do or feel, he seemed to be faced with them all too often.

Naomi had to look away from his face as the news registered with him, knowing she'd have to see the rest of the town's reaction like this as she explained what happened. She let herself be pulled into a hug and collapsed against his chest, wishing she had the vampire ability to shut off her emotions because right now all she felt was guilt and an unavoidable sadness. "What do I do now?" she asked quietly. "How do I -- " she felt like she had so much love in her for someone that wasn't there anymore. "I don't know what to do." she admitted, her voice breaking.

"But you would be dead, Naomi. He protected you because he loved you, and he was willing to risk his own life for you to live,” she insisted, timbre consisting. This entire situation reminded her about her father and Cole, and while Harper was trying to convince her otherwise, she did know what Naomi was feeling—it had been months of guilt trapped inside. “It was a sacrifice made out of love.”

Naomi knew she was right; Jett wouldn't have done what he did if he didn't love her, but she didn't think she'd ever be able to ignore the fact that she could have done more. Her eyes moved downwards, "It would have been safer for him to not be with me." she said quietly. "If we'd never been together he wouldn't have cared so much and had to fight. If he hadn't loved me he wouldn't be -- he'd still be here." She felt exhausted from crying and knew she was going to have to tell people what happened over and over again. "How am I supposed to tell everyone?" she asked desperately.

No, no, no. That can’t be right? Jett’s not gone. He’s fine.

I wish I could...he's not, Nate.

Naomi, please tell me that he’s okay and that’s he is coming home. Please. I need to hear that right now. 

There's nothing I want to tell you more, I wish I could...

Harper remained quiet for the most part, letting her talk and calm herself down at her own pace, letting all of her emotions express in the form of the tears falling down her cheeks. After a few seconds, she pulled away from her, hands on Naomi’s shoulders in hopes that she’d look at her, though she was not forcing her in the slightest. “It’s not your fault, Naomi,” she spoke softly but certain, squeezing her shoulders. “I know you don’t believe that right now, and that you wished you could’ve done more to save his life, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t kill him. You two were attacked—it’s their fault.”

Naomi tried to slow down her breaths, her blue eyes reddened with tears slowly raising to look at Harper. She nodded, hearing what she was saying but not being able to convince herself it was the truth. "But if I hadn't taken my attention of the other vampire, or if I hadn't been there, they would have just left him alone." she insisted, taking a shaky breath. "They tried to feed from me, and Jett was trying to stop them." She shook her head. "If he didn't have to worry about me he wouldn't have gotten hurt."

No, not like...Nate...he's d -- he was killed.