Leave me alone (I'm lonely)

That feel when your depression is creeping back in and all you can do is sleep

So like, I had this amazing childhood where my biological parents were both alcoholics in My adoptive parent was an alcoholic. I moved 27 times before I was 12 years old with my two alcoholic parents and never knew about my biological father or met him. I was the youngest of 7 children and My adoptive sister died when I was 8 yrs old. I didn't know about two of my siblings until I was 14 when I finally met my biological father. All of my siblings were 8 to 10 years older than me and had nothing to do with me, either because they live in a different state or my parents didn't let me know about them. Now I have five other siblings who don't include me in anything and have each other and I'm just stuck alone being the youngest with a fucking personality disorder where it's already hard to deal with this shit. I just want to be a part of my fucking family and they don't include me or want me to be. I don't even fit into my own fucking family how I supposed to fit in with anyone else?? What the actual fuck??????

When your depression so strong you can't even write or speak to what is causing it. It just hurts to much to even try