monstrous lemon

all the times we were so close to saying no

all the times love didn't feel like enough anymore

And then I think of today

yesterday

tomorrow

all the times we said yes

all the times love was the only thing we needed

And then I remember that we’re okay

we’re always okay

if we want to be

The blushed tickle in my cheeks

Like the sun pelting down on a summer's day

The soft wind hugging me from every direction

All at once

The twinkle in my fingertips

That make me fly high into the seductive night

The sweet, insatiable candy

Licking through my blood

I feel you in my bones

My very soul

I look at this tiny white pill in my hand;

so perfect in its glory, 

so strong in its will.

It brings me such joy, the justice I deserve;

flying over my swallowing Hell,

breaking me free from insanity.

But with this freedom I am lost;

the will to create is misting away,

as if darkness was my only solace.

So it seems I’m at a crossroads;

looking at this tiny pill,

deciding on creating chaotic magic,

or finding the will to live.

You

You, see me no longer

The twinkle in your eyes has gone,

as if the galaxy giving you spark relinquished

as if the spice giving you hunger has left your lips

Leaving you dry and empty

Leaving me cold and alone

The one person who should use me as their light eternal

has put me in the end zone

your presence takes its toll

For who, full-knowing, would throw themselves

into this dark, bottomless hole

we call home?

You compare your lies 

with the severity in our lives

You will not fool us; 

we will not sympathize

It is no game.

No tricks of anger, love, or pride;

we do not ask for what’s inside

How dare you surf

on our drowning tide?

A desperate wish.

We long to vanquish our fear

so let us be perfectly clear:

Our problems will get you nowhere, 

for you do not wish to be here.

memories shatter like sugar glass

Figments of my own mind

so scattered, yet defined

Dusted shards bleeding in my hands

reminding me of things I never had

Every touch, every feel

brings back what was real

Hard to let go

when everything hurts you so

The warmth of your chest

The softness of your hair

The comfort of your heartbeat

You are the medicine to my insomnia