SovereignMjan

Yesterday You didnt chose me all because i stared at a woman in big bulky pants with reflectors and i thought “she must be doings mens work, good for her” and you noticed (btw guys are fully aware that youre looking where we are being eccentric maybe because you yourselves are guilty of looking at other men aestethically and youre waiting for the moment catch us too which is why i really dont care coz i may look at others but theyll never compare to how I look at you and it wouldnt kill you to ask me why) . . .going back,you got mad and said I ruined the night and I walked you to your end and we waited for my jeep and we parted ways like strangers. 

Today you didnt chose me again,you wanted to meet coz you needed dough which is fine with me coz I know youll pay me back. I greeted ya nicely but it seems like you shut me off (maybe youre tired so i let it slip) then you, me and my friend talked and it seemed that you were more interested in talking to him than me and also your jokes were insensitive (which is what you do often). After our talks my friend went home and I walked you to your end again (well 1/4 walk 3/4 sikad coz twas raining) you got the money and went off and i understood why you didnt wait for me to get a ride home coz probably you were tired. Moments later i got a text not a single sign of endearment. Its deppressing but I dont want you to know coz based on past experiences if you knew I was affected youd tease me (which is pretty insensitive knowing those were genuine) and worst u get lenient thinking Im afraid and affected. 

Maybe guys just dont want to look vulnerable coz thats when they lose value. All I can do now is be hopeful.