Ugly Even With Glitter

i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp

a body count not as in homicide nor as in sexuality but as in the trail of people from my childhood and adolescence i should’ve been a better friend to and taken better care of but i was too busy being caught up in my own heartache to recognize their own and therefore our relationship tapered off in an extremely unsatisfying way that continuously manifests itself as a thrumming sense of grief in my chest. anyway which restaurant chains have the best free pre-meal bread?

#reading the first half of this post: this makes so much sense wow I love learning #reading the second half of this post: I guess this is the imagination tax that I must pay for this information (via @creekfiend)

the thing you need to understand about carmilla countess karnstein is that she is a loser. she's absolutely drowning in blood bitches but she has to be because she is an immortal vampire noble who gets by on flirting her way into continual couch surfing. she has no job no house no car and no money. she sleeps all the way through the morning. she hears people singing and it pisses her off so bad that she needs her bestiecrush to hold her hand until she calms down. she's violently classist and loves to use the "wait until I tell my rich dad about this" line but, crucially, her rich dad is dead as fuck and has been for all living memory. she's a serial monogamist and she's fucking coasting on pretty privilege.

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something