The Gone Series ♡

Caine.

He's not a sociopath. He has histrionic personality disorder. Like, it fits so well.

Oh boy 🥺😍 my fingers already hurt from all that crossing

Oh don`t worry, it`s not annoying at all!

Funfact: When I first read the books, I read them in another language and I noticed a lot of the more intense scenes where completely cut out; I think that’s super interesting, because if you’re gonna translate a book, then why change it in such fundamental ways?

Then a year later I reread them in English, and was kinda shocked, because there was so much more gore than in the translated version.

For example, the scene where Diana cut of Drakes arm? Sam and Astrid forcing Mary to eat? Not a single word of that.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, but that was one of the scenes that got „softened“ a little and I think that only shows how intense and shocking that scene really was.

One of the many sad things about that scene is Orc slowly turning into a version of his father, drunk, abusive, agressive, dangerous; which was so heartbreaking to see, because his father already brought so much pain into his life.

It was a big climax scene for Astrid as well- „Wouldn’t she want to die if she were Orc? Didn’t she want to die herself?“- which is such an unlikely thing for her to think, since the bible and faith have always been one of her main guides in life, really showing how big her fear and dispair really were.

She could feel Orc’s pain- but at the same time she knew that if she would stay, he would eventually lose his fight with alcohol and let agression take over him. (Though she does come back later, her initial instict was to leave, leaving LP behind and saving herself).

„They would come to understand what monsters they were: grown as ugly inside as Orc was outside.“

Another great line- because isn’t that so unlikely for Astrid as well? Judging others based on their appearance like that, calling another human being ugly? I feel like she’s not the kind of person to do such a thing, under normal circumstances.

(Might be I’m reading too much into that line though, but I just find that interesting)

„She was just the only one who had ever helped him. She was the only one who had ever seen him as Charles Merriman and not just Orc. She should feel his pain.“

He knows that what he’s about to do is wrong, yet he cannot stop himself.

I think we all want the people we love the most to empathize with us, to understand what we’re feeling in hard times, but he wants her to feel his pain on a physical level.

I guess it’s good that Drake showed up, because Astrid couldn’t have known that he was there, so if she would have come back to just Orc- well, he probably would have done what he was thinking about, causing irreparable damage (even more than he already did).

So yes, I think it’s written very well! It really shows if you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss stares back at you. (Getting a little philosophical here.)

My initial reaction to that scene was shock, cause I really didn’t see that coming, Orc bringing her to Coates, her big protector, knight in shining armor, only to have the same thoughts about her as the guy he wanted to protect her from.

I think they are a great example of how opposites attract!

Their relationship started long before the FAYZ, what with Astrid helping him with math. That’s how his respect for her built, since she is one of the only people treating him like a human being.

He trusted her with not telling anyone about her helping him (and though she later broke that promise), she didn’t tell anyone about teaching him math, so that he could maintain his reputation as a bully without people taunting him.

I think that fact that she even helped him in the first place shows what a nice person she is at heart, what with her being scared of physical violence and Orc being one of the main bullies in PB at that time and yet she’s still willing to spend her time with to help him become better in school.

Though his respect for her is not really shown until later on in the series, since he initially helped Caine and Drake with capturing her and Sam. (The gym scene)

I think she is one of the reasons he redeemed and eventually became one of the good guys, finding faith etc.

There are some really intense scenes between these two (like the scene at Coates in Plague? That was tough).

That seemed to be some kind of turnaround point for him, maybe this was even the reason in gave up drinking in Fear (I don’t remember if that was ever stated explicitly, but I definitely think that he was so shocked by Drakes statement- something along the lines of: That’s the only way to get her, it’s my way and I see that’s what you’ve been thinking about as well.)

So to stop himself from ever losing control over himself like that again and eventually become like his father, he turned away from alcohol and put his energy in reading the bible (something that Astrid used to do as well.)

She was some kind of role model for him, believing in him, trusting in him, even though he didn’t really deserve that trust, since he had horrible thoughts about her at Coates and yet he was one of her main protectors throughout the entire series, showing how complex their relationship really was.