Biblically Accurate Fuck-Boy

A Muppet a Day keeps the Devil at Bay

this made me emotional

When art moves us to tears, it proves we are alive, Laios Has Big Fukin Tits. Always remember that.

SHUT🤏

Thank god they decided to make more

But In doing so…she created her biggest enemy…Jolene

@trufflesmushroom

He mixes Capri Sun with everclear and drinks it out of champagne flutes. He tells people he's a top but he's objectively garbage at sex.

He's like 23. Nobody ever invites him to things he just kinda shows up.

the dog from toy story 1.

there’s a very popular holiday about it, in fact

what the fuck is going on this year. january through june didnt happen. july is a distant memory. august and september were the longest months of my life. october ended in 5 seconds. why is november here already this isn’t right

It's the season erosion from the climate crisis, combined with a hyperindividualistic and stress-bound society. It warps your sense of time.

awesome. how do i stop all that though

Oh my God my vandalism has escaped containment

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

I wish there was a magic skillet I could pick up that would make me literally impossible to fire from a job, no matter how weird or disagreeable people decided I am, where I could still work only part time & ideally with lots of breaks. Like sorry Ms Karen McWasp, I am a load bearing unit and the task will be done when it's done and there's jack shit you can do.

I know you probably meant "skillset" but I'm having so much fun imagining myself carrying the Skillet of Job Security around my office all the time.

I did but yeah the Skillet of Job Security is much more fun

Life’s all fun and games until. Disorder

it’s him…… the Grey Earl…………..