Hurt and Comfort

Hello 🤗 Welcome to my sideblog!

Sorry for the lack of... anything recently. April has been a huge joke and I'm just super depressed, exhausted, drained, heartbroken and just a mixed bag of all sorts of emotions. Whenever I think one thing is all sorted out, things just suddenly go downhill and my environment is just it feels very far from being emotionally safe and I need to shutdown for a little longer.

Pretty sure I fucked up in the job interview 😭

I knew it was only a matter of time but I'm just so sad right now and it just feels like I shouldn't be but the prices here keeps raising up that I can't help but feel anxious. Right now people are telling me not to make a big deal of it but I don't feel at ease when those people try to comfort me cus I'm sure it's only a matter of time that they'll pressure me to find a new job and start screaming at me again.

I've been sick for some days now so I asked to use my sickleave for today to take it easy and to have my dog be brought to the vet. Sugery was VERY expensive and I feel bad leaving her as she was really scared in the cage and then only started being active again and jumping about when she saw me hoping to be released 😭

I don't know how to feel when people compliment me irl about my appearance cus at the back of my head I'm always wondering if it's a genuine compliment or if they're secretly making fun of me. I also wish people would stop overly criticizing my body, I just wanted to wear a pretty dress.

Imagine Clara always hating the snow until Alex showed her a way to make ice cream. It puzzled Clara why anyone would want ice cream at an already cold weather but she just caved in and let Alex's optimism get the better of her. When they made Ice cream, it made her all the more cold but somehow she finds herself bearing it because it actually does taste delicious. She and Alex snuggle up inside with a blanket around them and bowl of fresh ice cream they take turns eating.