Is it getting a little phallic in here?

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

i wish i could have been alive when gods would regularly come down from the heavens and fuck the brains out of mortals for no reason other than they felt like it 

Bold of you to assume that’s not still happening

Well bitch it ain’t happening to me

*falls in love with someone who was nice to me in my dream*

its lavender  

not to be thirsty on main but i would love a little kiss on the forehead

I needed some Cockles today.

um has anyone fallen in love with me yet it’s almost christmas

Who else is sick of their rude trash brain making them think terrible things all hours of the shitty trash day

why are there so many days?? i feel like we just had a whole day yesterday… they don’t stop