eva

then work came.

the inevitable idea of not seeing each other anymore 24/7. every morning you wake up and go to work, and go back home with exhaustion and pass out on your bed. sometimes you can't even remember making your way to your bedroom whenever you pass out in the living room, only to find out xavier is the one carrying you to your bedroom when he brought the topic up during lunch on a weekend.

xavier happens to have a more flexible working schedule than you. when you come back from your workplace, he's already there before you. either you arrive at the apartment to dinner waiting on the table, or you arrive to find him making dinner. on some occasions, rarely, when you're earlier than him, you make sure to do the same, so it doesn't get too one-sided.

until one night came, work was hectic that night that you had to shut your phone so you don't get any distractions from anyone messaging you, unaware of the messages coming from xavier you didn't see on that same night, telling you to eat dinner outside since he couldn't prepare at the apartment. after finishing up paperwork around nine in the evening, you didn't even bother opening your phone again. and because you're too tired to reach your phone from your bag, you accidentally walk into something you shouldn't have witnessed.

the apartment is dark, except for the lights coming from xavier's room that seep through the crack under the door. your face burns in shock when the groans from the other side of the room register in your ears. the sound of his short breaths as he is at the point of falling over.

you don't remember how long you were standing at the main entrance before dragging yourself to your bedroom quietly, having no idea what just happened.

maybe he had a stressful day at work? or something had kept him up that whatever he did was a way to give him relief?

what the hell are you saying?

the more you try to sleep it off, the more your mind wanders to the sounds that escaped his lips. the way he'll lean back on the foot of the bed with one hand gripping the white sheets beside him while the other pumps his cock, desperately catching up to his release with pre-cum already slipping out and spilling from the slit of the head. it drips down around his length and hand, an electric shockwave taking over his body before going still.

you mentally punch yourself in the face. that's not the right thought process that should have gone through.

you try shaking the thought off, but it's already too late when you happen to feel the ache blooming below your stomach. your skin burns at the thought of your roommate carefully slipping between your wet folds. your face flushes and your forehead stains with your sweat as you visualize yourself under that man.

his innocent demeanor completely absent. he looks down at you with no light in his eyes as his large hands fly to your bare skin, touching you everywhere, and his lips pressing sloppy wet kisses on yours.

"fuck." you whimper, imagining his cock burying inside you while setting a brutal and passionate pace of his hips rolling against yours. you imagine wantonly crying out from every thrust of his hips, digging your nails into his back until the scratches burn his skin. you can't help but slowly move your hand down to push your pants down to your ankles before it slips into your underwear.

the soundproofing of the complex is great, and it's what your grandmother recommended before you moved to live here. however, the walls are not that thick inside the apartment, meaning that if one listens carefully, they'd definitely hear whatever is happening on the other side.

remembering that you're just a room away from him, you silence yourself with a palm over your mouth to conceal the noise eliciting from you. you push your underwear farther to the side, feeling the cool air inside your bedroom blowing your exposed skin. the coldness of your fingers meets with your folds that glisten with your wetness, before you push the pads of your fingers as you drag them in a steady circular motion.

within moments, you sink into your indulgence. your breath hitches, biting back a moan as silently as possible while pushing two fingers in and out of you. you close your eyes, the squelches of your digits make you wish how it was xavier's dick thrusting in you with fervor. it's not enough, and you wish the real thing were inside you, taking you. the thought turns you on even more.

"xavier—" you imagine him wanting you to lie on your back as he pounds on you hard, hard that it makes you gasp and leaves you breathless. you want him to spit at you, telling you that you're a naughty girl who touches herself at the thought of him jerking off. you want him to smack your ass so that you moan his name to do it again. you wish that he's murmuring all the nastiest things to your ears, telling you that you feel so good around him, that you're his, and that only he gets to fuck you this good.

something builds up inside you, like a tidal wave is about to crash at any moment. you curl them deeper inside, and you arch your back, losing yourself in your own filthy pleasure that is evident from the way your chest heaves faster erratically, your legs spreading wider, your toes curling, and your hips bucking upwards.

you return to the fantasy of him fucking you with absolute zeal. the way his hips accelerate at a much faster pace than before, and his hot breath fanning your neck, makes you feel dizzy. the way you want to feel his hips stutter as his cum releases inside you until you pass out together. your vision blurs, tears pooling in your eyes in ecstasy.

the incoherent and shaking noises coming out of your lips become a manifestation that the torrent is almost about to arrive, and you frantically quicken the pace of your fingers until something crashes within you. time slows down in a matter of seconds, and trails of unending shockwaves send down your limbs and nerves.

you take a few moments to catch your breath as you stare at the ceiling. you cover your fingers with your wetness as you pull them up to look at it. you dirty the sheets with your orgasm, and now your senses begin to be hyper-aware of your surroundings.

it dawns on you what you've done. you pull yourself up from the mattress to cover your face and utter a muffled scream. you got off to him getting off, and the mere fact that your dirty thoughts pushed past your ego is enough to make you feel absolutely embarrassed.

the apartment has also gone suspiciously quiet after a while. did he hear you? maybe you breathed too loudly? or the bed creaked too much?

your feet have gone ten times lighter when you tiptoe your way to your bedroom door to take a peek outside, the noise coming from his room has died down, and the light that seeps through has dimmed.

you retreat to lie on your bed, tossing and turning for the next few hours. not an ounce of deep slumber has taken over you. from the dark of night, it slowly turns into a shade of blue-orange. the sun shines through your curtains and paints the walls and floor with a hue of brightness. as for you, dark eye bags appear below your eyes, hoping for your boss to maybe give you a day off for only this day, just so you get a good rest.

there's no doubt that she won't give you one, so you sigh, having no choice but to attend another boring work day with all the paperwork you'll have to deal with later.

you drag your body to rinse your face at your connected bathroom before coming out to find xavier making coffee in the kitchen.

okay, calm down. leave whatever happened last night and stay composed.

"good morning. i didn't hear you coming back last night." xavier greets, pouring the hot water into two mugs as he mixes it with a teaspoon. your heart drops in an instant. his eyes fall on you when he turns around, waiting for you to respond.

the sound of the background music of the kahoot plays in your head while you envision two options floating above his head of whether to just confess your sins and crimes before this man or run away from him this second.

confess, you freak! your internal demon voice yells in your ear. no, don't! your internal wailing voice yells in your other ear.

"oh, good morning." with a wave of your hand, you yawn as you move towards the table and take a seat at the far end. "i saw your messages and ate outside. i also walked for a while at the park near the complex before coming back. i think it was around 11? i can't even remember anymore."

no. you masturbated to him masturbating last night. but you're not gonna tell him that. you're never gonna tell a single soul of it. that's the last thing you want to say to him or anyone.

smooth liar, you also thought to yourself. you notice xavier's lips curving before turning back to the counter, still preparing the coffees. as he does, you stare at his back. broad back covered in a black tee, and strong legs wrapped in gray sweatpants.

an imagination flashes in your head of him bending you over that counter, taking you from behind.

you swear you're gonna die right here, right now.

the thought bubble pops when xavier places the mug down on the table before handing it to you. the coffee's steam ascends to your face, and you inhale the scent of the coffee beans mixed with milk and sugar. "thanks, but i didn't get any sleep last night."

"no wonder your eyes are all red. should i get you water instead?" he's about to walk over to the fridge when you stop him. "no, it's okay, actually. i have work today after all. my boss will kill me if she sees me sleeping at work." the response makes xavier chuckle, moving the chair to sit down beside you. the proximity holds you in a chokehold, and you feel your heart's about to drop to your ass at any moment.

as much as you show how much the whole incident doesn't make you awkward, it does, and it's killing you that he's sitting beside you like you didn't just get off thinking of him fucking you like some kind of freak.

maybe you'll consider changing to a different complex before he even gets to figure it out. you'll take it with you to the grave if it means necessary. you shudder at the thought of the consequences, and yet it dawns on you once more that you'll be living with this man for a long while before one of you moves out.

"when do you clock in?" you hear him ask. you turn your head to the clock above the television and see that you still have two hours and thirty minutes to prepare. "before 9, since i still need to get a taxi to get there."

"then i won't take any of your time. i'll be in my room if you need anything." xavier gets up with the mug in his grip and waves his hand in the air, returning to his room and leaving you alone. a big sigh leaves your lips, staring at your coffee that's about to get cold.

another few weeks have passed since the incident, and said incident hasn't left your mind. a guilty pleasure that keeps haunting you when you close your eyes every time the sky darkens. your mind keeps wandering back to that night, and you wish you had opened that door to blow him off, and he takes you there on his bed.

maybe it's your horny thoughts speaking, but you can't stop thinking about it.

you can't stop thinking about xavier.

his presence inside the apartment taunts you. you begin to interpret every move of his actions as something else, something more than what you are to each other. it's not healthy. every time you think of him like this, you feel the aching pressure below, and it's embarrassing that you're feeling this kind of sexual attraction towards a roommate who doesn't even see you in that way.

but you can't help it. you can't help the way your hand dives into your underwear. you can't help the way you push them deep inside that you think of his dick. you can't help the way you feel your orgasm trickling out of you to reach another satisfaction that soon leaves you asking if this is right.

you want him so bad, your desires of wanting him to fuck you rough and hard, your longing for him to hold you in his arms and kiss you.

you're aware that you're the only person in the apartment for the meantime, as xavier had told you beforehand that he'll be out with his colleagues for dinner. that means you can do whatever you want without anyone stopping you, and that includes having to relieve the dampness that you feel between your legs.

it sticks to your underwear as you look to your right to stare at your body pillow. the one that always gives you comfort when sleeping? well, it's about to give you another kind of comfort this time when you ride on it.

you're so lucky you're all alone tonight.

you grab a fistful of the fabric as you swing your leg over it, putting your weight on the soft cushion. give an experimental grind, and you let out a soft moan, falling forward with your elbows steadying on the mattress.

god, how you wish he's looking up under you right now. you wish that every grind of your hips is a low, gentle angelic groan coming out of his mouth. you wish that every grind is his hips bucking up against you to match your energy with his hands gripping tightly on your waist. it makes you throb against the pillow.

this dirty fantasizing turns into a habit you didn't expect to become hooked on. all the wishes of him doing and saying the filthiest things to you is something you didn't expect to become addicted to. you feel so guilty, but in the end, it makes you the most satisfied person in the world.

just as your climax is about to climb up to its peak, there's a knock on your door outside.

shit.

your heart's at your throat, and you immediately pull yourself away from the pillow with an almost silent huff. is he already home? how? how come you didn't hear the door open? maybe that's karma for you, but fuck. there's no way you're opening that door. there's no way you're gonna face him and look him in the eye without acting like everything's normal.

xavier's voice emerges from the other side, calling for your name. it's almost as if he's concerned, as if something happened with you.

yeah, he denied your orgasm, that's what happened! but you don't want to complain to his face about that.

you scurry over to the door to open it ajar while you hold onto the handle tightly. you find him standing there wearing a black blouse and slacks, his expression clearly a face of worry. "xavier? i-i thought you'd be out for a while."

there comes a stutter in your voice. you can't give yourself away now. a lump leaves your throat as you wait for him this time to respond to you.

"sorry if i came back early. i brought take-out since i found out my colleagues planned to go to a nightclub." xavier explains with a hand on his nape, then gestures towards the table where he had already set and prepared the food. "i… didn't want to come along, so i dipped and grabbed take-out instead."

this only proves that he's been here quite some time while you were in your bedroom humping on your pillow like some rabbit on heat. why didn't you hear him from outside? you're so lost in your pleasure that you didn't hear the door open nor him preparing the table. "a-ah… really? color me surprised, then, it's a relief you didn't go. but you're gonna have to wait a bit, i just need to go to the bathroom to freshen up."

"yeah," he breathes out. "no problem."

he looms over your figure, looking down on you with an expression you're sure you saw flicker for a second. since you already excused yourself, you try to close the door to give some privacy to compose and groom yourself before a hand—his hand stops the door from fully closing, and you swallow. hard. you're done for, and there's nothing to get out of this alive. his eyes find yours in the darkness of your room as you both stare at each other for a few seconds.

then his mouth opens, "were you doing something earlier? i heard a lot of…breathing inside."

an arrow shoots down at you. sadly, it's not enough to kill you on the spot, and you wish it did.

also, for a man who respects boundaries, this is the first time he has shown curiosity about what you do in your room. "n-no—i mean yes, i was…i was just exercising." you ramble. with the way you're under pressure, it’s flustering you, rambling to say the first thing that comes to your mind. you know too well he won't believe you, especially that you're in your pajamas.

"…in your pajamas?" it raises his suspicion that something isn't right. the uncertainty in his eyes lingers under the tense atmosphere between you. he already caught you in your lie. "you weren't exercising, were you?" he sees right into the plot hole, and you curse yourself internally.

may the heavens above take you here and now.

playing pretend won't help you, no matter how hard you try to look reasonable in front of him. it's obvious with the way you can't hold your gaze straight, the way your voice falters, and the way your sweat flushes your skin. you've been caught, and you need to tell him the truth. confess, you freak! your demon voice returns to yell in your ears once more before it disappears again, leaving you all alone to handle what's next to come.

"i-if i said yes, will you stop bugging me about it? of course, i was doing something else. you…you just caught me in the middle of something, so if you'll excuse me—"

you try to move his hand away, and the sudden push of the door towards you startles you, stumbling backward.

"i didn't say you can close the door on me."

you watch something switch in him. his voice is still gentle, yet the way he moves is someone else. and not gonna lie, it was slightly turning you on. xavier takes a step towards you, one at a time, towering over your figure until you feel the back of your knees hitting the bed and fall behind, your butt landing on the soft mattress.

"x-xavier, what's going on with you—"

"tell me what you were doing." he cages you in between his legs as he looks down at you with an intent to divulge your secrets. it's the first time you're watching him becoming into another man in real time. it's neither playful nor tender. that innocent demeanor shifts into something darker, and you cannot seem to gather your words in front of him.

"x-xavier, for…for a man like you, you shouldn't be i-insistent on knowing what i do behind…closed doors."

"and you think i don't know what you do behind closed doors? you think i didn't hear you touching yourself, thinking about me that night? the following nights? you tried so hard to keep quiet, but the second that mouth of yours betrays you, i—i tried to be the good man here, but the way you say my name that you want me…it's driving me insane. you drive me insane. now you can't look at me because i already knew from the very beginning."

how his words silence you in a matter of seconds that you can't even look at him anymore. your face is red with embarrassment and humiliation, yet the adrenaline creeps up in your nerves with the anticipation and idea that fantasy and reality are finally merging together. the xavier you’re fantasizing slowly mirrors the xavier in front of you. his fingers capture your chin, lifting it up to lock your eyes in his.

the light in his eyes is gone.

it's undressing you bare, and you feel fire igniting straight to your core.

never mind moving out if he finds out.

you want him so bad.

"show me how you did it."

"w-what—"

"touch yourself for me."

he pulls his hand away from you, moving away to walk to your vanity table. he grabs the chair away from the table and places it in front of your bed before taking a seat on it. his arms cross against his chest as he stares at you with hunger in his eyes.

"come on, you don't want your audience to wait, am i right?"

you're about to get fucked.

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