Moderntime1968

Mondo sits on a bench in the middle of a busy train station— his hair pulled back in a half ponytail and not up in his usual pompadour, clothed in a cheap baby blue polo shirt and black slacks, his customary jacket nowhere to be seen— doing his best to look nonchalant despite the anxiety and unease roiling through his body. His eyes are latched firmly on his best friend (/boyfriend/, he thinks almost hysterically, even though they’re fucking /not/, it’s just a fucking ruse, shit), watching as the ridiculously high strung teen paces back and forth relentlessly. 

“Would ya sit the fuck down, man? Yer pacin’s makin’ me fuckin’ dizzy, shit,” Mondo grumbles, rolling his eyes when Taka turns to glare at him. After a moment of charged glaring, Mondo giving as good as he gets, Taka sighs and nods wearily, taking a heavy seat on the bench next to him. 

“I… sorry, kyoudai. I’m just… nervous! I know that we agreed to do this and that it’s the best way to get my family off my back, so to speak, but… well. I still feel bad about lying to everyone. Especially my parents…” 

Mondo winces at the softly spoken words, his cheeks heating up despite himself at the reminder of the con they’ve created for themselves. 

It’s been a week since he came up with this stupid fucking idea, and things had started out fine. Right? In fact, the morning after he came up with the plan, he’d even felt kinda good about it all, smirking at the thought of conning Taka’s entire fucking family. It was a way for them to be closer, he’d thought, looking fondly at the frantic hall monitor, who predictably had woken them both up stupidly early and wouldn’t listen to Mondo’s pitiful pleas for ‘just five more minutes, kyoudai.’ Stubborn fucking bastard, he thinks affectionately. 

But then… then, the week progressed. And Taka— in true Taka fashion— took it upon himself to meticulously plan out every single detail, and then proceeded to panic about every possible thing that could possibly go wrong, at any possible point of time during the week, over and over and over again. It’s actually gotten to the point where Mondo himself is half worried that he will be found out immediately, be kicked out onto the street and told to never come back, and then never become Prime Minister, all because he dared to lie about having a boyfriend one fucking time. And he doesn’t even /care/ about literally any of that shit, half of it not even applying to him. /That’s/ how powerful Taka’s paranoia has become. 

The amount of times Mondo has had to physically restrain Taka, holding him close and murmuring encouraging words into his ear, saying that none of that shit will happen, that Mondo’s the best fucking liar, that as long as Taka follows his lead no one will ever be the fucking wiser… shit. He can’t even count that shit, it happened so fucking often. At least five to ten times /a day/. Don’t get him wrong, Mondo adores Taka. He absolutely does. But good /god/ can the dude be melodramatic and the biggest fucking pessimist…

Taka has managed to bring up some good points about the potential for disaster in this plan of theirs, though. One such being the fact that if they want this ruse of theirs to work, if they don’t want to be found out immediately and kicked out of the family forever (not like Mondo cares about that for himself, but he knows Taka cares a lot, which makes Mondo care), then they’d have to be able to convince everyone in Taka’s family that they’re dating, happy, and most importantly /in love/. And when he says everyone… he means fucking /everyone/. Which includes, most regrettably… Taka’s parents. 

Now /that/ shit had honestly freaked Mondo the fuck out the first time Taka had brought it up. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t /hate/ Taka’s parents, right? In fact, he thinks he may be a little bit in love with his ma, as kind and caring as the lady is. She always smiles so brightly at him, thinking him so much better than he is. And she gives the absolute /best/ hugs. He’s only met the lady at most five times, but every time she gives him prolly the warmest, most caring hug he’s ever received from a lady, ever. Needless to say, his own ma was… kinda the worst, heh… in some ways, that makes it all worse, really. Knowing he’ll be lying to her. Deceiving her. It… s-shit. It gets to him sometimes. 

Taka’s da, on the other hand… fuck him, honestly. Always judging him, calling him a ‘no good delinquent who will just bring Taka down…’ shit. Ain’t like he’s wrong, but it still fucking sucks ass. Even knowing that the man genuinely loves his son and would do literally anything for him— even if he’s often so fucking clueless on how to show it— doesn’t help much. It does a little, since Mondo knows intimately how shitty da’s can be, but… shit. He just doesn’t /like/ the dude, okay? At all. 

But the dude is a fucking /cop/. Who already hates him and thinks he’s going to corrupt Taka, even before thinking he’s dating his son. If there is going to be one person who throws the biggest fucking wrench in their plans… 

But at least that one they could tackle somewhat in advance. After all, it ain’t like they could just show up together at the train station, holding hands and claiming to be boyfriends with no fucking warning. That would be a recipe for fucking disaster. 

Listening to Taka tell them over the phone on Tuesday afternoon that the two of them are dating and have been for many months, though… now /that/ had been true agony. His ma had apparently been over the moon, saying that she ‘knew it,’ and that she was ‘so very, very happy’ for them. She’d even insisted on having Taka pass the phone over to him, her voice high and happy as she congratulated the two of them on their relationship, saying that she knows he will treat ‘her little boy’ well. It had honestly brought a tear to his eye and for the first time, he understood why Taka hates lying so much. It had been true agony to hear that and know it wasn’t real. 

The less said about Taka’s da’s reaction, the better, honestly. 

All in all, however, the call had gone well. His ma was supportive, his da hadn’t immediately driven out to kill Mondo and bury the body somewhere no one would ever find it… it was just great! And while he does mean that sarcastically, he will be honest and say that it had actually gone much better than he’d feared and gave him a small trickle of hope that they might pull this shit show off. 

He knows his kyoudai hates it, though. The lying. The charade. They’ve spent this entire week going over every detail of their con (and again, when he says every detail, he fucking means /every single fucking detail/. He adores Taka, he truly does, but dear fucking god is the dude anal) and at no point has Taka gotten even slightly better about it. But they can’t turn back now. They’ve already set the snowball in motion. Now all they can do is try and control the damage and hope it all turns out in their favor…

But… shit. All of that bullshit isn’t important now. Not when his kyoudai is so obviously distressed, getting worse by the fucking second. 

Shaking himself back into the present, Mondo reaches out and grabs Taka’s hand, twining their fingers carefully. Usually he wouldn’t do shit like this, especially not in public, but considering that they’re gonna hafta get used to doing shit like this for the benefit of Taka’s family, he might as well, right? ‘Sides. It’s honestly hella comforting to him, too…

“Yeah. Yeah, I know, man. But we’ve gone over this. So many fuckin’ times. It’s just fer this week. Once it’s over, I’ll head off ta be with my gang an’ ya’ll head back with yer parents. A few weeks later, ya’ll come ta spend time with me an’ Dai, an’ we’ll stage a break up, claimin’ that our differences were just too much fer us ta handle as a couple, but that we wanna stay friends. Then, we just… ferget this shit ever happened an’ continue on bein’ the best fuckin’ friends, alright? Ya getta have a family reunion without yer family harassin’ ya ‘bout gettin’ a boyfriend, an’ I get free food an’ housin’. Win-win, kyoudai. Uh… shit. Kareshi.”

Mondo suppresses the instinctual wince at the new title they’ve agreed to call one another this week, since calling each other /brother/ doesn’t exactly make sense if they’re dating. Calling each other /boyfriend/, though… so blatantly and openly… well. Shit’s fucking weird, honestly. Judging by Taka’s not at all concealed wince, the teen feels the same. 

“Y-yes, I… I know that, ky- ah. K-/kareshi/… I just… hm. Y-you know what I’m like. And this is… is definitely not the sort of thing I traditionally condone! So… hm. I don’t know. I just wish that I’d never said that cursed lie and that we didn’t have to go through with this. Life would be so much simpler then!” 

Mondo smiles softly at Taka’s dramatic cry, his hand squeezing the other’s gently. Fuck, he’s so cute… 

“Yeah, but ya did, man. An’ ya can’t take that shit back, so we might as well get used ta this shit,” Mondo points out bluntly, feeling a bit bad when he sees Taka’s face fall a little. Hating seeing his friend look so crestfallen, Mondo quickly moves on, hoping to remove that heartbreaking look. “But, shit. It ain’t that bad, man. An’ look at it this way. Least we get ta spend more time together, yeah? An’ hey, maybe it won’t be so bad. Ya never fuckin’ know!” 

The smile Taka gets on his lips is pitifully small and weak, but at least it’s something, so Mondo takes it. He squeezes the hall monitor’s hand again, feeling heartened when Taka squeezes back tightly this time. 

“Yes… perhaps you’re right, ky- /kareshi/. I cannot say I truly regret anything that allows us to spend more time together. Still… I wish it was under better circumstances. That we could go as we are, not as a lie. I… I hate lying…” 

Goddamnit… heart clenched painfully at Taka’s pitiful tone, he can’t help how he disentangles his hand from Taka’s, immediately wrapping his arm around the teen and pulling him close into a side hug. Honestly, that’s prolly the one good thing about this shit show, he thinks humorlessly as Taka melts against his side. At least he can touch Taka more freely this week without worrying about his ‘manliness’ taking a hit. Small fucking miracles… 

“I know, man. I… I know. Shit, why don’t we get yer mind off this shit, yeah? Yer parents ain’t gonna be here fer another fifteen at least, thanks ta the fuckin’ traffic, so… why don’t we do somethin’ ta take our minds off this shit, huh?” Mondo asks, looking at his friend with concern. He watches Taka bite his lip, before the teen nods slowly. 

“I… suppose, k-kareshi. But… hm. I- I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind going over my family tree just one last time? I- I know we went over this on the train and I know that you are getting annoyed with my incessant worrying, but I… I just want to make sure that you have it down and that nothing goes wrong and that-“ 

“Taka. Shut the fuck up a second, alright?” Mondo interrupts, rolling his eyes and sighing heavily with exasperation. Because… shit, they literally spent the /entire goddamn train ride/ going over this shit, Taka lecturing him all about his family, sparing nothing; their likes, their dislikes, their fucking /shoe size/. At this point, Mondo thinks he knows Taka’s family better than he knows his own gang, god fucking dammit. He truly doesn’t want to go over this yet again. 

But… ugh. He knows his kyoudai well. And as such, he knows how fucking neurotic he gets about shit like this… and if it’ll help calm him the fuck down… 

“Look. This ain’t what I meant when I said takin’ yer mind off this shit. But… goddamnit. If it makes ya feel better, then /fine/. I’ll fuckin’ go over yer ‘family tree’ one last time… I ain’t sayin’ their shoe size, likes, or dislikes, though! That shit don’t fuckin’ matter!” 

With a glare at Taka, which the teen unfairly returns with a wide eyed, pitiful fucking look, Mondo sighs again. And begins going over the family members who will be at this goddamn reunion. /Again/.

“Alright. So, startin’ at the top, ya got yer Granny Kichi, a stubborn lady who hates disorder an’ likes shit goin’ her fuckin’ way no matter what. Yer grandpa died a few years ago, so I’m not allowed ta mention him no matter what, as it’s still painful ta her. Next ya got yer great aunt Hana, who is just as stubborn an’ twice as ‘opinionated,’ or whatever. She’s married ta yer great uncle Akiro, a quiet sorta man who must be blessed with the patience ofa monk ta be able ta put up with yer aunt. Yer ma is super fuckin’ close with yer aunt, though, since they all lived together on the farm when she was a little girl. The lady’s practic’ly yer granny or somethin’ like that. 

“Yer great aunt an’ uncle have two kids, Kumi an’ Akihiko, who ya call aunt an’ uncle even though they’re technically cousins. Akihiko never married but Kumi did, ta yer uncle Daichi, who’s a stuck up businessman. They got three kids; Eiko, Eichi, an’ Haruki. First two are twins ‘bout yer age an’ are the spawn a’ satan. Haruki is ‘bout thirteen an’ only slightly better. That whole part a’ the family is fuckin’ rotten ta the core an’ are a blight on society.”

“Hey! I didn’t say that!” Taka interrupts, pouting at Mondo petulantly. Mondo smirks, flicking the teen’s forehead in a way he knows always aggravates the shit outta his kyoudai. In makes his heart flip to see Taka’s indignant pout. He ignores it and moves on. 

“Yeah, but I read ‘tween the lines. Now, don’t fuckin’ interrupt. Shit’s rude,” Mondo teases, smirking at Taka’s deepening pout. Heh. “Now, where the fuck was I… oh, right. Ya had another great uncle who died last year, illness, but he had a kid, Jin. She married yer uncle Taishiro, but they ain’t comin’ since yer uncle’s sick. They got two kids, Yoshi an’ Miki, who’re twenty-five an’ twenty respectively, an’ they supposedly are comin’. Yoshi married an American dude named Alex, an’ they got two little kids, Samantha an’ Benjamin. Sam’s three, Benny’s five months. Ya’ve never met him, but ya’ve seen pictures an’ ya assure me he’s super fuckin’ cute. Miki’s single an’ apparently really fuckin’ bitter ‘bout it. She’s also kinda a bitch, but the two a’ you get ‘long reasonably well. 

“Finally, ya got yer actual aunt an’ uncle, yer ma’s older sis an’ younger bro. Yer uncle Naoko ain’t comin’ since he’s got a work thing, but he’s divorced an’ got two kids, Nikko an’ Rei, who’re eight an’ four. Yer aunt Ryoko is comin’ with her husband Yuudai and her three kids, Ronin, Raidon, an’ Rini, ages fourteen, ten, an’ six. The kids an’ husband are fine, but yer aunt’s a fuckin’ homophobic piece a’ shit that the world would be better off without.”

“Mondo…” Taka warns, eyes glaring. Mondo just rolls his eyes, glaring right back. 

“Hey, just callin’ it how I see it, shit. An’ I know, I /know/, I gotta fuckin’ behave myself ‘round yer family. Been practicin’ my ‘respectable’ voice an’ everythin’, shit. An’… /and/, while I can’t say I enjoy it, I… ugh. I do know how to talk properly. Just hate doin’ it if I ain’t gotta. But fer you, Taka… I’ll fuckin’ do it. An’ stop cursin’. Though ya fuckin’ /owe me/ fer that shit, fuckin’ hate censorin’ myself. But whatever, that shit don’t matter. Anyway, I think that’s it. So, how the fuck did I do, huh? Got all yer countless fuckin’ family members right?” 

Taka blinks at him rapidly, before looking away, his cheeks bright pink and lips pulled down into an unhappy grimace. Ah, shit… that ain’t what he wanted…

“I… you did perfectly, ky- kareshi. Like I knew you would. And I… I know I owe you very much for all of this. You are doing so much for me this week and I fear that I will never be able to repay you for your kindness. I will always be in your debt, my friend, and I don’t know how I can ever make this up to you, I-“

“Hey, fuck right off with that bullshit,” Mondo growls lightly, cutting off the self-deprecating bullshit immediately. When Taka looks up at him with wide, watery eyes, Mondo forcibly relaxes himself, giving the teen a small, shaky smile and a tight squeeze around the shoulders. “That ain’t true, ya hear me? Y’ain’t ever gonna be in my debt, not fuckin’ ever. After all the fuckin’ tutorin’ an’ vouchin’ fer me ya’ve done this past year, ain’t no way ya’d ever owe me shit. ‘Sides, that ain’t how friendship works, man. Ain’t no debt ta a friend. I help you, you help me. S’how it fuckin’ works. I was just kiddin’ ‘bout ya owin’ me shit. Though… now that ya mention it, if ya wanted ta give me the answers ta that summer work, I wouldn’t fuckin’ say no…” 

It lifts Mondo’s heart to hear Taka let out a soft, watery laugh, Mondo grinning widely at the half hearted glare the teen gives. His grin goes sideways a second later when Taka shifts on the bench and— apropos of nothing— flings his arms around Mondo’s neck, turning their side hug into a full hug. Mondo’s face flushes immediately, his stomach doing a funny jig, but he doesn’t comment on it. He just wraps his arms around Taka’s waist in return, relishing in the steady warmth. 

“You are amazing, my dearest kyoudai. I value you more than words can ever say,” he hears Taka murmur into his ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all over his skin. It’s not at all cold out, but he blames the cold for it anyway. 

“Yer the fuckin’ amazin’ one, Kiyo. Gonna do some truly incredible shit one day. Can’t say how glad I am ta know ya, man, let alone be yer friend,” Mondo mumbles back, burying his face in Taka’s hair to hide his mortification at the sappy words. For the first time, he’s glad his hair isn’t up in his usual pomp. He couldn’t do this shit if it were. 

Taka doesn’t reply back to his comment; instead he just hums happily and buries his own face in Mondo’s neck, body relaxing in Mondo’s arms. S-shit… anyone can fucking see them right now, the station is super fucking busy, but for some reason… for some reason, he can’t find it in him to mind… 

That quickly changes when he hears a voice call out to them a couple of minutes later. A voice he is dismayed to realize he kind of recognizes. Unfortunately. 

“Ah. Kiyotaka, Mondo-san. I… see that this is where the two of you are hiding,” a clipped, highly uncomfortable voice calls, exasperation clear in the tone. Mondo goes stiff immediately, as does the teen he’s holding, the pair splitting apart with furiously red cheeks. Oh, fucking hell…

“Takaaki!” Mondo hears another somewhat familiar voice call, this one higher pitched. He then hears the familiar sound of flesh getting hit lightly, and a soft grunt. “I told you to not bother them! Hmph. Well, hello there boys, it’s nice to see the two of you again. I was going to allow you both to part naturally, but clearly my husband has no sense of romance anymore.” 

Mondo hesitantly turns his eyes in the direction of the two voices, feeling mortified to see the only slightly familiar sight of Taka’s parents standing before them. His da has a look on his face like he was just force fed a lemon, while his ma is beaming brightly at them, literal stars in her ruby red eyes. It makes Mondo gulp uncomfortably, his eyes automatically falling back to the ground. 

“Oh, uh… h-hello, sir. Ma’am. Uh… sh- I mean… uh…” Mondo stammers awkwardly, trying his hardest to not fidget. He knows that Taka gets his distaste for fidgeting from his da, and if he wants to make a good impression… well. It’s not like it matters, they’ve met before and the dude hates his guts besides, but still. He should at least fucking try… 

“Mother! Father! It is so good to see you both!” 

Mondo gets distracted from his staring contest with the floor when he hears Taka exclaim his greeting from beside him, turning in time to see the hall monitor launch himself off the bench and over to his parents, hugging them both tightly. They both immediately hug him back, the pinched look on his da’s face immediately gone as he hugs his son for the first time in months. 

It makes Mondo’s chest ache horribly to see the loving scene, and he hastily averts his eyes again, his cheeks burning for a different reason. He can feel the same burning envy he’s always felt when seeing a loving family bubble up inside him, though he desperately tries his hardest to squash it down. Shit ain’t gonna help him here. ‘Sides. He’s so fucking glad his kyoudai has a good family who loves him more than anything. He deserves it so fucking much it ain’t funny. He really does. 

“Oh, come here, Mondo-san! You are part of this family now too, you know,” Mondo hears Taka’s ma say warmly several seconds later, startling him greatly. He looks over at the lady with wide ass eyes and sees her looking down at him with a blinding smile, her arms open in invitation. Mondo darts a glance over at Taka— who is now standing beside his stiff father— and only moves when he sees the teen give him a bright smile and an encouraging nod of the head. 

So fucking awkwardly, Mondo stands and lumbers over to the lady, who immediately rises onto her tip toes to wrap her arms around his neck. Even still, Mondo has to hunch awkwardly to accommodate for her short height, his body on fire with his mortification. While this is not at all the first time she’s hugged him (she’s a hugger, Taka had happily informed him after he’d first met the teen’s parents during summer break their first year, his eyes wide and panicked when the lady had hugged him without any preamble whatsoever), it’s still so fucking awkward to him, even if he privately adores it. His own ma never hugged him growing up, even if he had tried numerous times before giving up, so being hugged by a lady is both nice and kinda fucking awkward. 

As he stiffly hugs the slight lady, equal parts pleased and embarrassed, he feels her shift to press her lips to his ear, her voice quiet as she whispers something to him. It makes him shudder, his mortification rising exponentially. 

“Before we get going to the car, I wanted to thank you, Mondo-san, for agreeing to come with my little Taka to our gathering. I know Auntie Hana can be very pushy and opinionated, and I know that the rest of my family is much the same. It is no small thing agreeing to come along. Words cannot express how grateful I am that Taka has someone like you to look after and care for him. You treat him so well,” she whispers to him, squeezing him tightly. 

The words cause an uncomfortable lump to form in Mondo’s throat, his eyes beginning to water, much to his mortification. He forces the embarrassing rush of emotions down and shrugs as carefully as he can, not wanting to hurt Taka’s ma at all. 

“It, uh… it’s nothing, ma’am. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for yer- uh. Your son. He… he means the world to me,” Mondo mumbles, flushing at the words. He doesn’t even have to feel bad about lying, since what he said is the god’s honest truth. He adores Taka and would do literally anything for him. No lie at all whatsoever. 

The lady hums happily, nodding against his shoulder. She then leans back and smiles at him brightly, her eyes so much like Taka’s it’s fucking surreal. 

“Yes, I know that Mondo-san. And I’ve told you before that you can call me Kiyoshi, you know. No need for formalities with family,” Taka’s ma— shit, no, /Kiyoshi/— says with a smile. Mondo flushes brightly at the look, but he luckily doesn’t have to figure out what to say next as Kiyoshi pulls away from the hug entirely then, looking pointedly at her husband. 

Mondo also looks at the man and has to suppress the urge to gulp at the dark look he finds there. Don’t get him wrong, Mondo knows that he’s a tough ass dude who has never been afraid of anyone in his life, definitely not a fucking /cop/, but… shit. There’s something about meeting up with your best friend’s parents, while pretending to be said best friend’s /boyfriend/, and coming face to face with his clearly unhappy old man. Who you know already hates your fucking guts. 

However, to Mondo’s intense surprise, after a moment the dark look fades off the man’s face, leaving behind a look that is very clearly uncomfortable, but at least isn’t hostile. Mondo figures it has to do with the staring contest the dude’s been having with his wife, but honestly, Mondo doesn’t care for the whys of the matter. It will definitely make shit easier if he doesn’t have to deal with Taka’s da stirring shit up between them…

“Ah. Yes, hello… Mondo-san. It’s… good to see you again,” the dude says stiffly, looking like he’s being forced at knife point to say the words. It honestly makes Mondo wanna laugh a little, but he’s not that stupid, so he reins it in. Barely. “I am glad you decided to join us this week. Please, call me- call me /Takaaki/.” 

With that, Taka’s da— or Takaaki, Mondo guesses, though he’s honestly not much happier to call him that than Takaaki was to offer it— turns on his heel and begins walking away, taking Taka’s luggage with him, apparently done with this conversation. Kiyoshi sighs softly, giving him and Taka a look that says ‘what can you do?’ 

“I suppose that’s the best we’re going to get out of him at the moment. I will give you two a little time alone to talk. Come and join us in the parking lot when you’re ready. We managed to find a spot right out front,” Kiyoshi says kindly. She gives Taka one last kiss on the cheek and Mondo a pat on the hand, before turning to follow her husband through the crowded station. 

As soon as she’s out of sight, an awkward silence descends around Taka and Mondo, Mondo having no clue how to break it. Shit, but if this ain’t the most awkward situation he’s ever fucking been in… and trust him, he’s been in a fucking /ton/ of awkward ass situations in his life, god fucking damn… 

“Well…” Taka starts hesitantly almost half a minute later, eyes wide on Mondo when he turns to face the hall monitor, “that… could have gone worse. R… right? It- it could have gone worse?” 

Something about the desperate, almost frantic words breaks something inside of Mondo, and before he knows it, he’s laughing loudly, tears rising in his eyes. If anyone asks, he’ll say they’re tears of laughter, /not/ of fucking relief, fuck you. He can see people giving him nasty looks from the corner of his eye, but he honestly doesn’t give a single fuck. Not when he sees the tension Taka has been carrying on his shoulders for this entire goddamn week loosen a little, the smallest (and yet most /beautiful/) smile rising on his pale lips. It makes Mondo’s stomach lurch to see, so he hastily looks away, still snickering softly. 

“Ya know what? Yeah, man. Yeah, it could a’ gone worse. Now… ya doin’ good, Taka? Need anythin’ ‘fore we go?” 

Mondo watches as Taka deliberates that, but after a second the teen shakes his head, the small smile still on his lips. 

“Ah, no, I… I think I’m good, ky- /kareshi/. Are- are /you/ doing alright? I saw how my father was looking at you… a-and I know how uncomfortable you can get with my mother’s affection… do you need anything before we go?” 

Mondo smiles softly at Taka’s concern, heart aching mildly to hear it. To dispel some of the emotion, Mondo reaches forward and ruffles Taka’s hair, snickering at the teen’s indignant squawking about how he’s ruining his look. He can see the fondness in Taka’s eyes though, so he ain’t too worried about it. 

“Naw, don’t worry ‘bout me, man. Can handle a little shit like that. An’ ya fuckin’ know I adore yer ma. Swear if she ever leaves yer da, I’m gonna marry that lady, goddamn.” 

Mondo laughs uproariously at the disgusted and horrified look on Taka’s face, grinning brightly in response to Taka’s disturbed grimace. 

“Please… never say that ever again. I think I will need your so called ‘brain bleach’ to forget that particular disturbing thought! Now… if you’re sure you’re good, then we should probably get going! It wouldn’t do to make my parents wait needlessly! Do you remember our plan?” 

Mondo groans at the worried words, giving Taka a Look at the stupid as shit question. Because… of fucking /course/ he remembers their goddamn plan! They’ve only gone over it a million goddamn times this past week! How stupid does Taka think he is…?! 

“Taka. I know I’m a goddamn dumbass, but I ain’t that big of a dumbass. We’ve gone over the goddamn plan so many times I’m pretty sure it’s engrained in my fuckin’ DNA at this point. An’ I know, I /know/ yer just nervous, but y’ain’t gotta worry ‘bout that shit. I know the plan. Trust me on that, okay? An’ don’t you fuckin’ dare apologize, it’s /fine/,” Mondo stresses when he sees Taka open his mouth with furrowed brows and another unhappy grimace. “Just… don’t worry, man. It’s gonna be fine. Just loosen up an’ shit will work out perfectly. Okay?” 

Mondo keeps a pointed gaze on Taka to make sure he realizes that Mondo /means it/, and after a moment, Taka looks away, nodding his head sheepishly. 

“I… yes. You’re right, k-kareshi. I just… ah. Y-you know…” Taka trails off awkwardly, Mondo smirking at the knowledge that the teen was about to apologize before stopping himself. The smirk gets wiped off his face when Taka turns back to face him, eyes blazing and face set. Oh, shit… “But! As I keep saying, you decidedly are not a- a /dumb butt/, so please refrain from calling yourself that! I think you are a very smart and intelligent young man! You do very well on homework and exams when you push yourself, after all! Especially now that you have reading glasses to help with your vision problems! And you know quite a lot about interpersonal matters, far more than I do! So… please stop insulting yourself, my friend. I… I hate it when you do that…” 

Mondo swallows thickly, the compliments not exactly unexpected, but still overwhelming despite it. He knows that Taka hates it when he puts himself down, knows that he shouldn’t do that shit since it honestly always makes him feel like shit when he does it, but… he doesn’t know. It’s familiar and almost comforting, in a way. He’s been calling himself names for as long as he can remember. Ever since his da started calling him that shit before he even knew how to talk, he’s thought very negatively of himself. And he knows he shouldn’t, knows it ‘significantly lowers his self-esteem’ and ‘damages his feelings of self-worth’ (thanks ever so, Taka), but he just… just… shit. Whatever. Whatever. It don’t fucking matter. 

Doing his best to push down the emotion, Mondo looks away from Taka and shrugs tightly, grabbing his duffel bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. He then jerks his head towards the direction Taka’s parents went and begins moving over there, Taka following without question. 

“Uh… s-shit, yeah, whatever. Should prolly get goin’ though, so c’mon,” Mondo mumbles as they begin moving through the crowd, chest aching stupidly. Taka nods in agreement and doesn’t say anything more as they try to navigate the stupidly busy station. 

It’s as they finally reach the exit, Mondo’s heart pounding with anxiety, that he finally builds up the courage to reach his hand out and grab Taka’s. His face is bright red and he feels vaguely nauseous, but he knows that if they want their charade to work, they should prolly do little shit like this. He can see Taka startle out of the corner of his eye, but the teen doesn’t pull back and instead quickly settles. Mondo’s heart just about pounds out of his chest when he feels Taka shift his hand and carefully entangle their fingers, but he doesn’t comment on it. Shit, whatever, don’t matter. Just two bros platonically holding hands while trying to fool people into thinking it’s romantic. No biggie. 

Once they get outside the station it doesn’t take as long as Mondo would have thought to find Taka’s parents, since they actually did manage to find a parking spot almost directly in front of the station. Mondo feels a little awkward as they get closer and he can make out the sound of a whispered argument between Taka’s parents, though he can’t make out any words. They quickly stop as soon as he and Taka walk up, Taka looking between them worriedly, but Mondo can still see the tension in both of their eyes even as they try to hide it. Kiyoshi smiles brightly as she heads over towards them, but she can’t fully hide the tension in her eyes. Mondo has to admit that he doesn’t like it, but it ain’t like he can exactly do shit to help. He barely knows the lady, after all. 

For a lack of anything else to do, he just smiles tightly back at her, hoping that he’s not causing any damage between the two… yeah, he was joking about them splitting up to Taka, but he doesn’t actually /want/ that… it would hurt Taka greatly and he’d never want that shit. 

“Ah, Taka, Mondo-san! You boys were quicker than I thought. Here, Mondo-san, give me your bag and I’ll put it in the back,” Kiyoshi claims, holding her hand out to grab his duffel. Mondo tightens his grip on the bag, shaking his head slightly with an awkward smile. 

“Oh, uh… n-no, I got it, it ain’t- I mean it’s not a problem,” he claims, not sure if he’s being rude or not. Judging by the small frown Kiyoshi gets on her face he thinks perhaps he is, but… shit, he can handle his own goddamn bag… plus, he hates it when people touch his shit… luckily, before he can worry too much, she smiles quickly after, nodding her head. 

“Oh, of course Mondo-san! Follow me then. Taka, please go help your father program his GPS, he’s having some problems with it.”

Mondo moves to follow the lady as she heads to the back of the car, his hand disentangling from Taka’s with just a hint of reluctance. When he shoots a glance at Taka, he sees the hall monitor giving him an encouraging smile, which helps more than he’ll ever feel comfortable saying. He hopes Taka can tell that he appreciates it based on his returning grateful smile. 

As Kiyoshi opens the trunk of the car for Mondo to put his bag into, he can’t help but comment on the argument he and Taka walked in on, though he knows he prolly shouldn’t. He just… shit. Feels bad, he guesses…

“S-so, uh… I, uh, hope I’m not causing any problems between you and, uh… T-Takaaki,” Mondo mumbles awkwardly, his face on fire again as he shuffles in place. He sees Kiyoshi give him a startled look, obviously not expecting him to say that, which makes his nerves sky rocket. Luckily, she quickly recovers, laughing a high, bell like laugh, her eyes crinkling in the corners like Taka’s do when he laughs. 

“Ah, no, no, do not worry about that, Mondo-san! It was not because of you. My husband is just… particularly hard headed about certain topics and it can get frustrating to deal with at times. He has a good heart, though, and he usually finds his way after a bit of guidance. He and my Taka are so similar, you know. Takaaki, though… well, you must understand that he didn’t come from the most loving family and it’s sometimes hard for him to look passed his ‘logic’ and connect with his emotional side. He’ll come around, though. He always does,” Kiyoshi assures kindly, her smile small but bright on her face. It looks so much like Taka’s that Mondo immediately relaxes, smiling softly back. While she and Taka don’t look alike much on the surface— their eyes and hair color the only obvious similarities between the two— when he looks closer Mondo can see the resemblance clearly. Especially when they smile. They have the same smile. It’s… oddly comforting. 

“Oh, uh… good. ‘M glad. Know that… um. That he’s not my biggest fan, but… uh… I really care about Taka, s-so I hope things work out,” Mondo mumbles, his face heating more. Shit, he… he hadn’t really meant to say that. It’s way too sappy for his liking. And he honestly really doesn’t like the overly saccharine look Kiyoshi gets on her face. Neither is he quite comfortable with the quick hug she gives him, his mortification somehow growing even further. And while she quickly pulls back, the bright and fond smile she then gives him is almost /worse/ than everything else. Jesus fucking Christ…

“Oh, my dear boy. That is not something you will ever have to worry about. If there is one thing that Takaaki and I have always agreed on, it’s that we want our son to be happy. And anyone with eyes can see how happy you make him. I knew that from the first time he mentioned you in our weekly phone calls, his voice so much lighter and freer than I’d ever heard it before. And I knew how much he loved you from the minute I saw the two of you together. I always wondered if the two of you would ever get together, and words cannot express how elated I am that you finally have. You are a good person, Mondo Owada, and I am so very happy that my son has you. So very, very happy.” 

As he stares at Kiyoshi, eyes wider than they’ve ever been before, Mondo feels like he was dumped into a lake of ice water, his body numb and tingling so fucking unpleasantly. He feels like he can’t breathe, like something heavy is pressing down on his chest, and to his intense shame, he can feel tears rise to his eyes. He does his best to fight against them, but it’s so much harder than usual. Because… b-because… h-holy /shit/. 

She’s wrong. She’s fucking /wrong/, s-she has to be, she… T-Taka doesn’t fucking /love him/, not like that, not… they are /kyoudai/, friends, this whole thing is a fucking charade, a ruse, something meant to get Taka’s family off his back and absolutely /nothing more/. There is nothing more going on between them and he knows this. He /knows this/. 

He… 

He knows this. 

“I-“ Mondo starts to say, only for his throat to close up, no more sound escaping. Part of him wants to force through it, to tell the lady how wrong she is, charade be damned. He wants to set her to rights, make the record clear and ensure that she never fucking misunderstands the relationship he and Taka share, because this isn’t real, it’s fake, there’s absolutely nothing /real/ about this whole situation, it’s… shit. He wants to say it, to make sure that she doesn’t ever mistake them again, that she sees how /wrong/ she is. He just… he wants… 

But he knows he fucking can’t. It would hurt Taka horribly, for one, and he can’t ever do something like that. And it would make everything so fucking complicated for another. They decided to go through with this shit, and he can’t fucking back out before it even begins just because he didn’t realize quite what it meant to pretend to be Taka’s boyfriend. When a real man makes a decision, he has to fucking /commit/ to it. Dai tells him that shit all the time, so he can’t fucking back out. 

But he… he hates the thought that Taka’s fucking /mother/ somehow thinks that he is someone who actually /deserves/ her son when nothing could be less true. He… he’d never deserve Taka. He doesn’t even deserve his friendship, so it’s laughable to think that he’d ever deserve anything more. Taka only clings to him so tightly because he was the dude’s first friend and he’s such an amazing person he decided to stick with Mondo even despite his numerous faults and failings. That’s not love. That… it’s not… it… he… h-he… 

Mondo is spared from having to try and say anything when he hears a call from the front of the car, before seeing Taka bound over to them, smile bright. He doesn’t seem to notice Mondo’s distress since he’s looking at his ma, thank /fuck/. 

“Ah, mother, Mondo! Good news! Despite neither of us really understanding what we were doing, father and I somehow managed to figure out how to program Grandmother Kichi and Great Aunt Hana’s home address into that infernal device! We can get going as soon as you both are ready!” 

Mondo hurriedly looks down at the ground when he sees Taka look over at him, smile too blinding for Mondo to handle. S… shit. Shit, shit, /shit/, he… he’s gotta get a handle on his fucking emotions and /fast/. If he’s already so messed up after one fucking comment, he’ll never last the week. And like /fuck/ is he going to fail at this. He refuses to let Taka down. He refuses. 

He knows that Taka notices that something is wrong, he can hear the hall monitor let out a soft sound of distress, but he doesn’t get a chance to ask what the matter is before Kiyoshi is talking, her voice as bright and cheerful as it usually is. Despite himself, Mondo looks up at her, regretting this immediately when he sees her kind smile. Oh… god… 

“Oh, that’s wonderful my love! I’ll head into the car so we can get going as soon as you two are ready. There’s no real rush though, so take your time,” she smiles, kindness overwhelming. Her voice then gets softer, her eyes staring into Mondo’s, like she wants her words to be for him alone. And Mondo just… “Before I go, Mondo-san, I wanted to make sure you knew that I meant what I said entirely. And I truly am glad you decided to join us this week. From the bottom of my heart… /thank you/.” 

Okay, just drive the knife even deeper, why don’t you?! The tears rise to Mondo’s eyes again and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt so ashamed before, his eyes falling to the ground immediately. He doesn’t even know what exactly he feels ashamed of, to be honest. His past. His unworthiness. The fact that this whole thing is a /goddamn lie/, and how he knows that it’s gonna hurt the lady when he and Taka ‘break up’… fucking all of the above. Shit… but this is honestly somehow worse than he’d imagined. He’d expected people to be resistant to the ‘relationship’. He’d expected outright hatred. He’d even expected indifference. But this…? He’d never expected this. He’d never expected for his and Taka’s ‘relationship’ to be so fully accepted. For someone to be so seemingly /happy/ for them. And he just… he has no idea what to do, what to say, he just… he doesn’t…

Mondo feels himself startle horribly when he feels a soft hand touch his shoulder, his eyes wide and breathing heavy as he looks up. He settles only slightly when he sees the bright, familiar red eyes that he has grown to __love__ appreciate, but his chest still hurts so goddamn badly. Oh, fuck, does he hate this... 

“Mondo… I… are you alright…? You look… distressed… m-my mother didn’t say anything harsh to you, did she? I- I was under the impression that she liked you, and she’s usually so kind to everyone… b-but if she said anything hurtful, even accidentally, please let me know and I will speak with her immediately! You don’t deserve to face any vitriol, especially not from my mother, and I don’t want-“

“/No/,” Mondo manages to force out after a moment of dazed silence, cutting Taka off before he says any more bullshit. Because dear god is his problem not that she said something cruel… not at all… “I… shit. It’s nothing, Taka. She didn’t say anythin’ ta me. Bad, at least. She… yer ma’s a really nice fuckin’ lady. I… y-you’re so fuckin’ lucky ya have her, man, I… I- I… s-shit…”

Mondo hurriedly scrubs at his eyes to prevent the stupid ass tears from falling, hating himself more than he’s ever hated himself before. While he’s slowly been learning from Taka that it’s okay for dudes to cry, he… he still hates doing that shit. In public especially. Maybe crying doesn’t necessarily make him weak, like his da always screamed at him when he’d cry even a little as a child, but it sure as shit makes him feel shitty… 

The tears rise back up when he hears Taka let out a soft noise of sympathy, before another pair of arms are wrapped around his neck, his breath escaping him brokenly when he feels Taka gently rest his head upon his chest. Oh… why the fuck does this shit keep happening to him… g-god fucking dammit… 

“Oh… w-well I’m glad you think that, kyoudai,” Taka mumbles quietly against his chest, holding him tighter. “I’ve often thought myself incredibly fortunate to have a mother quite like her. I… I know that your own mother was… not the greatest. So, please know that my mother, she… she does care for you, kyoudai. I… a-ah. I perhaps talk about you a lot during our calls, and she has gotten to know you quite well through that. And she likes you quite a lot, my friend. As do I…” 

Mondo’s breath hitches at the softly spoken words, and he has to harshly bite his lip to force the tears back even a little. Knowing he can’t respond to that shit, not if he doesn’t wanna lose his hold on his composure entirely, Mondo does the only thing he can think of and buries his face in his kyoudai’s neck, hiding from the world like he often would as a child, back when Daiya would hold him after another goddamn beating from his old man. It makes him feel so weak and pathetic to do it here, but he can’t deny that it’s so fucking comforting, too. Taka… Taka is so fucking comforting…

The pair stay like that for an unknown amount of time, Mondo doing all he can to regain his composure. He feels so goddamn weak doing this shit, in public no less, but he… he just needs a little time. Just a little. Then he’ll be able to push this shit back down into the tiny box he always shoves his emotions in, and never have to deal with it ever, /ever/ again. Like he does with most of his problems that he can’t solve with his fists. 

Eventually, Mondo feels okay enough to pull back, sniffing subtly to try and stuff the emotions the rest of the way down. He scrubs his eyes quickly again and carefully doesn’t look at Taka, shrugging his shoulders as he begins to speak with a carefully nonchalant tone. 

“Uh, s-shit, man. Whatever. We should prolly get goin’, though. Y-ya mentioned it’s gonna be a fairly long drive, so we shouldn’t keep yer parents waitin’ any longer. C’mon, Kiyo. Let’s go.” 

Mondo doesn’t wait to hear Taka’s response and just walks to the right side of the car, since he knows Taka has always sat on the left behind his da. He can feel Taka’s eyes following him as he goes, but he does his best to ignore it and enters the car as casually as he can. More awkwardness fills him when he’s momentarily left alone with Taka’s parents, but it only lasts a handful of seconds before Taka enters the car too, shooting him a few concerned looks. Takaaki raises his eyebrow at them, but he doesn’t comment on it, thank fuck. 

“Put on your seatbelts, boys. The car ride will take roughly an hour. Inform me if either of you need to stop for any reason,” Takaaki states stiffly. At Mondo and Taka’s mute head nods, both buckling up (Mondo feeling weird being in a fucking car for once, though he sure as shit doesn’t say that), Takaaki pulls out of the lot and onto the road. The silence in the car is stifling, so Mondo is honestly relieved when Kiyoshi puts on the radio, even if it is on a dumb pop station. Anything is better than the fucking uncomfortable silence… and besides. He knows his kyoudai actually likes dumb pop music, though the dude would never fucking admit that for fear of being judged. And anything his kyoudai likes, especially the things he feels ashamed of, he forces himself to like too. 

It’s after they’ve been driving for what Mondo figures must be ten minutes that he feels a cautious hand bump up against his, which he’d been absently resting on the crappy middle seat of the ridiculously old and run down car they’re in. Mondo turns his head to the side, a little surprised, and feels his heart clench when he’s met with the sight of a clearly concerned Taka, whose eyes are so loud with their concern he can practically hear them. 

Something about the look makes Mondo’s shoulders relax for the first time since he entered the car, and while it’s a bit on the weak side, Mondo gives Taka a genuine smile in return. They can’t talk without fear of being overheard, but he and Taka have never really needed words to communicate. He can tell Taka understands that he’s grateful because the teen’s face relaxes, the smile he gives blinding in its intensity. Then again… all of Taka’s smiles are blinding. Every goddamn one. 

His heart gives a pathetic little flutter in his chest when he feels Taka carefully entwine their fingers like they’d done earlier, but he pushes that the fuck down and just squeezes the hand in his tightly. Eventually Taka looks away from him and out the window again, his face relaxed and smile small but happy, but he doesn’t take his hand away. He leaves it, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of Mondo’s hand, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like it’s something he’s done every goddamn day of his life. 

Mondo feels just enough like shit that he doesn’t immediately force himself to think that this entire thing is a goddamn lie that he could never, in a million years, deserve for real.