ordinary

the request is sudden and her eyes drift slowly to the hill of papers she’s yet to complete but something about his tone, the way he looks has her caught – a breath against her throat; tongue at her cheek. but nonetheless, despite reluctance at her heels, she rises from her seat and gingerly pushes it back into place before she stands beside him, coat and purse in tow.

and while she wants to ask what’s wrong; she’s never outright, never upfront with what she wants to say. maybe the fear is too much – maybe the need to console is far greater. instead, she takes his hand in hers and pulls them out the door. “let’s go, you did say the soju was on you, right?”

relief floods in him, dissolving the tension that pinched his shoulders and held his spine ramrod straight. he gives her a wide berth, letting her collect herself before stepping out of her office, only to be deterred by the familiar feeling of her hand slipping into his. flabbergasted, he can only watch dumbly as saetbyeol leads them out her doorway and into the night. shaking off his earlier surprise, he quickens his gait to fall in step beside her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “you heard me right—” his grin is cheeky, crows feet appearing at the corners of his eyes “—can’t drink you under the table tonight though, i have an 8am shift tomorrow morning.”

as they exit campus, hanbin draws his coat closer around him, warding off the cold as he leads them down a familiar path towards one of their haunts from their yosul days. it’s quite a ways away, but the journey there had always been enjoyable, even if it were naught but comfortable silence between them or raucous laughter that echoed throughout the streets like a siren. but silence blankets over them tonight, and hanbin takes this time to marvel at seoul’s nightlife. seoul at night differed greatly from the corporate aura it exudes in broad daylight. at night, city dwellers exchange their suits for more comfortable clothing, become creatures of habit as they linger in cafes and restaurants, spending time with their familiars—just as saetbyeol and hanbin soon would. hanbin pauses at the corner store just shy of han river park, “wait for me here, i’ll go grab our shit—” letting go of her hand, he ambles into the store, making a beeline towards beverages and snagging the first six pack of soju he sees. butting into the aisles, he plucks a small assortment of snacks they could munch on whilst imbibing alcohol. satisfied with his selection, he purchases them and leaves the store, finding saetbyeol where he had left her earlier “—c’mon, lets get going, i got everything.”

unfortunately, she did wake him up. at least there’s a soft cotton duvet to cushion the annoyance, because she sees none of it on his face when sleepy eyes meet her own. she laughs at how obviously out of it he is, perching on one of the armrests of the couch she’d dropped him on; hanbin seems to have noticed his mistake, too, but she can’t resist teasing him anyway. “this is my common room, oppa, it’s a surprise to see you.”

she shakes her head when he asks, reassuring him, “you didn’t! or, well,” she shrugs, making a face in the direction of her books, “i was studying, so you know i wouldn’t call this a disturbance.” she sighs and places her face in her hands, looking at hanbin. “did you have a lot of people at the med centre today? you look exhausted,” she accios a cup of water over from her table, and holds it out to the other man.

haesung’s probably fast asleep by now, so his room is out, and she definitely can’t smuggle the older man into her dorm without setting off three different alarms and a whole lot of rumours she doesn’t want around her. so instead she takes a pillow from the couch beside them and fluffs it up, tapping hanbin’s head to get him to raise it so she can slide it under his head. “don’t you wanna go home and sleep, instead? you can’t always just sleep in our common room, you know.”

“it was mine, too, once upon a time,” hanbin quips back, sending a half-hearted glare his dongsaeng’s way. yosul will always be his home away from home, that would never change, no matter how many years have passed since his departure. he practically lived here still, anyway, with how many times he’s ended up sleeping on ju jak’s common room floor. “it’s been a long time. sorry for not stopping by to check up on you all.”

her limbs were heavy through the air like treading water, thoughts a haze of chaos all centered in one direction; like a teacher asking everyone to yell out answers to a question with mixed results. because daeil is off limits, gunho, as if, daehyun would torture her more. and, if she were honest ( she’s too drunk to be anything less than honest ) she just wants to see him again. she walks the tight rope until losing balance and landing against the door with a slam. she knows this is where he still is. it’s so weird knowing that he hasn’t moved, but rather, they simply hadn’t spoken in so long ( time withers away the flowery memories of what their friendship used to be ) she craves a reconnection, especially when so many parts of her life had fallen apart recently.

standing at the door and waiting with a pout, it takes him longer than she thought to answer ( or maybe she’s just slightly drunk and impatient ) wobbling when the door opens wide to reveal hanbin. the way the air stirs around when it the door swings sends his scent whooshing at her, fresh air that’s cool and distinctly hanbin and she breathes in and then fizzles out ( flustered but then he says “oh…it’s you” and everything in her dies a little ) she bites her lip and nods, smiles too. “it’s me.” her tone is off-puttingly bright, and only the slightest bit slurred. she hadn’t ever wanted to meet him again in this typical fashion. she wanted to prove that she was different than before, like in yosul when she showed up so often, drunk, out of options. that’s only half correct this time. drunk, yes but last resort? there’s other places she could go but she wants to go here. jungmi gives him a smiles, “can i come in?” she’s already wandering closer to him with her arms out. it had been so, so long since she’d last seen him. he didn’t look different, maybe more tired, more weary. her head is foggy and she stumbles, pivoting forward right towards him and what she meant to be a greeting hug becomes more of a collision.

it takes him a moment to realize he’s not dreaming, that the ghost in front of him was in fact corporeal, and not his fraying nerves and hyperactive brain playing tricks on him. in the next moment, he’s awash with regret. words can cut deeper than any knife, and hanbin sees firsthand, the affect his words have on her. sees the tightening of her eyes, the stiffening of her spine, and the way she nibbles at her lip—he’s hurt her. pressing his lips into a thin line, he backs away from the door, granting her entry. “of course, you’re always welcome here—” he does this all against his better judgement: he’s got papers to write, tomes to read, some zzz’s to catch, but jungmi has always been the exception to everything. that hasn’t changed, even after a year of radio silence “—make yourself at home. nothing’s really changed since the last time you were here.”

he shifts his weight from one leg to the other, ready to duck out from under the doorway and run back into the kitchen, but her sudden movement gave him pause. she’s closer than he realized, and he panics, wanting more than anything to back away, to put distance between them because it was too much. the years he spent pining for her was a festering wound he constantly picked at, having never let it heal. there are days where he lays awake in bed, his mind swimming with thoughts of her until he slept. wherein his thoughts of her bled into his dreams, haunting him even in slumber. hanbin wasn’t ready for this, but if not now, when ? he sighs, stepping closer because he knew that any moment she’d stumble, and stumble she did, right into his awaiting arms, her forehead ramming right against his sternum, causing the breath in his lungs to escape him as he took on the full brunt of her weight. 

“you’re free to go on break, kang-ssi,” the senior healer hanbin had been shadowing says from over his shoulder, sterilizing his hands under a wash. “we’ll reconvene in my office to go over your progress for the day. see where you excelled, and where you fell short. dismissed.”

with a jerk of his head, hanbin excuses himself with a bow, peeling off his healer robes, and setting it on one of the hooks drilled into the wall outside the break room. stepping inside, hanbin trudges towards the couch pushed flush against the wall. he sits it, the back of his head brushing the wall behind him, eyes fluttering shut as exhaustion blankets over him like a second layer of skin. he loves his job, truly he does. hanbin genuinely enjoys meeting new people, has fun making their acquaintance, and talking to them about the things they’d do once they leave the facility. he’s having a blast giving back to the community, to the world, that opened doors for him. what he really hated was going home to a pantry devoid of food, to the mountain of books waiting to be studied, and the unfinished papers he had yet to write due by the end of next week. hanbin truly was a glutton for punishment, procrastinating as much as he has. it sets him on edge, making him irritable, and stressed, making him terrible company. but what the fuck can he do ? nothing, apparently, so he’s content to swim in his inner turmoil

the party’s in full swing by the time the gold wrought dessert carts are pushed past the double doors of the great hall, and parked beside the other tables displaying catered food. there was hardly any space left in his stomach ( quite hard to believe, i know ) but if hanbin was anything, he was a glutton. curious as to what yosul’s baking club concocted this year, he circles around the dance-floor, side-stepping and shouldering his way past old classmates and unfamiliar faces. finally getting to his intended destination, he’s hunched over the desserts, taking his time looking over the assortment of treats that had been handcrafted by yosul’s pâtissiers. picking a cupcake off of the display stand—a cute little thing with a strawberry garnish—he swipes a finger into the fluffy cloud of whipped cream, popping it into his mouth for a quick taste, which was decadent. flavor burst over his tastebuds, unable to help himself, he forgoes savoring the cupcake and peels off the foil, taking a delicate bite. he moans, loudly, garnering the attention of passersby, who laugh at him from behind their hands. but he doesn’t give a shit ( let a man enjoy himself, damn ) 

as he bites into the strawberry ( gotta save the best part for last, right ? ) hanbin feels an intense heat bubbling in his gut, spreading throughout his body until he’s tingly all over. heart rate picking up, hanbin lurches forward, hands gripping the table in front of him, knuckles white as he waits for whatever’s overcome him to pass. but he only gets hotter, so hot it was unbearable. he hisses through clenched teeth as he tears off his tie, fumbling over the buttons of his shirt in his race to loosen it, a few buttons of his shirt popping off, clattering noisily onto the marble floors. a worthy sacrifice now that he feels like he can breathe easier, but the uncomfortable heat remains. water, hanbin thinks, i need water. turning on his heel, he makes a bee line for the drink table. in his haste, hanbin bumps into another body ( soft, supple, sweet smelling ) he catches them before they could fall, his hands wrapping around the tops of their arms as he steadies them. letting go of them, he steps back, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but stops short once he lays his eyes upon them. a sweet face framed by dark hair, cupid’s bow lips, a piercing gaze. he staggers, awestruck by the woman standing before him. hanbin knows what this is. it’s something he’s felt before: an all consuming emotion that left him breathless, confused, and wanting when he had his first brush with it. this was love; unadulterated and irrational. 

jiyi’s busy studying for alchemy, one of the few students left in the common room at this time. she isn’t in it for the grades, and her attention’s only half-hearted because of it; alchemy’s fun, but the exams are terrible. haesung’s drawn up a couple of mind maps of the most important points for her, despite not even taking the class, and she’s grateful but it isn’t quite helping either.

which is why, when the common room door swings open and hanbin wanders in, eyes bleary and just throws himself over the coffee table, jiyi immediately perks up, glad to have something to break up the monotony of studying. “oppa,” she calls, carefully quiet, and huffs when hanbin doesn’t respond. she’s getting a little too used to seeing the jujak alumni in their common room, but she’s also getting much better at settling him down; it’s become an almost weekly thing to see the ymmc staff fast asleep in random corners after having missed his bus or just been too flat out exhausted to get himself anywhere else.

she conjures up a soft cotton duvet and blankets him in it, an easy leviosa bringing hanbin up and to the couch instead of the much less appealing coffee table. jiyi drops him down a little less gracefully than she’d like, jostling him as he lands onto the couch. oops.

“hanbin, hanbin oppa?” she whispers it, just in case, “did you wake up…”

he’s too tired to open his eyes, but he hears a familiar, yet faint, voice close to his ear. he hears his name, and the only acknowledgement he offers is a soft grunt before his body goes slack once again. whoever was pestering him into wakefulness, hanbin hopes they quit it soon. a cranky kang hanbin, especially one who hasn’t slept for more than three hours, is a hanbin that he wishes upon no one. he knows better than anyone ( okay, maybe heeyeon knows too ) how bad he can get in the morning: on edge, nerves frayed, hangry. in other words, hanbin turns into a whiny little bitch when he hasn’t had his cup of coffee and a biscuit to nibble on. 

he’s about to move into a more comfortable position on the surface he’s thrown himself onto when he feels something soft and warm envelope him. it was heavenly, as if he were floating on a cloud. the calming sensory information nearly lulls him back to sleep, that is, until he falls, the action jolting him awake and mentally scrambling to find his bearings. jackknifing into a seated position, hanbin blinks the bleariness out of his vision, his head swinging too and fro to gain an understanding of his surroundings. and from the corner of his eye, he sees jiyi, one of his favorite, if not the favorite, dongsaeng.