Fucking cricket just casually skimmed across my bare fucking ankle and when i tell you i thought it was a spider (big fear). I scaled my futon like i do gymnastics and dont have 33yo knees (so they dont pop/creak when im jumping for my life - cool fun fact that i learned tonight but also childish).
Now im hot and my heart is beating harder than im breathing. Had to go into predator mode to find their ass as they blended with the carpet for a sec - i really thought i lost it to my room. I was perched on the back of my futon scanning the plains (my carpet) until i saw it. It looked like a big ass fucking spider until my fear-hazed brain turned off apex mode and i realized it was a medium-ish cricket.
When i saw it (and that it wasnt a spider) i had to pause and catch myself (and my knees were about to lock im sure). The relieeeeef.
Chileeeee. Spring is upon us and the demons are awakening.
Now i gotta keep the main light on for the next 4-6hrs as blood was spilt and i expect retaliation from the insect clan.
Yall! Thats a large [dominos] pizza box... bro its the size of a big Z!!
Scanning the horizon (my room) every so often like a seasoned warrior posted by a campfire, Nike chancla at the ready like its a sword..... I know the siege will come..
Flinching when the breeze from my fan hits my skin too hard.
My brain wont let the threat of danger go even though the battle was won. War is coming.
