Masters of DGAF

I’m helping create a survey for a rep, through two of our doctors on staff.  The docs sent me the questions/rating system, and I’m using our survey program.

I had to call one doc to see if I was allowed to spell check the material.

Because it is a published survey instrument, and we are interacting directly with the researchers, I am not allowed to edit grammar and spelling.

Here are some good ones.

Recognise

Fulfilment

And my personal favorite: “so that my patients’ feel comfortable”

This is a medical school. We are run by, and create more, doctors. This survey was created by medical research professionals.

Me: *Turns to help a patron*

TERCO: *putting printed info packets together with cut up URLs*

Me: *starts helping, notice lines and no URL on some of the sheets*

Me: did you...cut up my statistic sheets?

TERCO: someone filled the printer with them!! I blame you because you fill them up!

Me: ...the Print Center has been in charge of the paper for a few months now...why would they fill it with statistic sheets...?

TERCO: I just grabbed what was on the printer.

Me: ...

What I thought: another student who didn't read any of the update emails we sent out.

What I said: we've made these updates, you can no longer print straight to the printers from the computers, instead you can now use method A or B.

Student: that sounds really confusing.

What I thought: compared to the eight different ways, malfunctioning computers and printers, randomly paused or stopped jobs, inability to print PDFs or slides correctly, etc. Totally, that was way easier....

What I said: O...k...well, the print center manager should be back soon and will be able to help you.

Student: I'll just print from the computer.

*are

Me: Please put the skull kit with the models at the end of the day.

Clerk: Ok!

The med school I work at keeps all the doors locked for safety. Each person has an ID badge to enter the building.

Yesterday I called security and told them a door was sticking open, and they said they’d have facilities fix it.

This morning it’s still broken.

Our building is down the street form a prison....

Put in charge of an important representative meeting.

Reserve conference room, invite attendees, prep, get representatives set with directions, tour, etc.

1.) Day of, IT Help desk emails saying Skype is down in the room we were to use, and that they were too busy to fix it, so I frantically set up a secondary room.

2.) Reps show up almost an hour early, so I entertain them, give them a tour, etc. etc.

3.) All goes well, after the meeting they send a thank you e-mail to ARCO, who assigned me this task, thanking her for doing everything.

Giving a library tour.

Welcome the guide (we know each other) greet the tour group.

Info

Info

Info

End the tour.

Tour Guide: Thanks Amber!

Group: Thank you Amber! Thanks Amber! Amber, Amber, Amber.

TERCO: Waaaah Waaah you should do this because of rules.

What I thought: Bitch, I'm the one who WROTE those rules.

What I said: No.

TERCO: Well I just think because of reasons....

Me: Reasons that no longer affect these materials. Again, no.

CURCO:*Friday* Please give these to the director to sign as soon as possible, this is very important.

TERCO: Alright!

TERCO: *sticks in directors mailbox*

CURCO: *Monday* Have you seen these very important papers?

Me: *glances at overflowing mailbox* *pulls out unsigned papers*

A typical e-mail from a higher-up.

1.) Sentence (no coma) sentence (no coma) random thought tacked on the end.

2.) “Monday Morning”

3.) extra  spaces     everywhere

4.) “com[petition”

5.) Multiple switches between singular and plural language

6.) “as an college”

7.) Incomplete sentences

Me

Tour Guide: Students get an ID at orientation that gives them access to libraries across the country!

The school dean was just giving a tour of our library.

Apparently, he thinks there are no books, only online materials, and that we will be installing glass walls everywhere....