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@mlincorrectquotes
*Texting*
Adrien: Just wanted to say I have a massive crush on you
Marinette: Oh
Marinette: Who’s the other guy?
Adrien: I added him for moral support
Marinette: LMAOOOOOO ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Nino: I’m here for you man
Nino: Do your thing
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Marinette: Babe, do not be concerned, he’s probably just tired or hungry...or getting jealous that I’m spending so much time with his best friend.
Nino: As a matter of fact I am tired and I am hungry, but the third thing is way off base.
Marinette:
Nino: If you weren’t a girl...
Marinette: Uh huh?
Nino: I’d karate chop you in the mouth.
Marinette: You would get winded just trying to ball your fist up, dough boy.
Nino: Well, good thing you don’t need a fist for a karate chop, you stupid idiot.
Marinette: You are such a door knob.
Nino (screaming and coming fast at Marinette’s face): And if I wanted to karate chop you, you’d be dead!
Marinette:
Nino, laughing: Look at her flinch!
Alya: This is good.
Nino: So scared, shaky shaky.
Marinette: I literally have not moved, I’m so not worried about you.
Nino: *starts panting while throwing air punches in Marinette’s general direction*
Marinette:
Marinette: You wanna go take a nap now?
Adrien: STOP!
Plagg: How is it that you are a superhero with the power of destruction at your fingertips, but your girlfriend is the terrifying one?
Adrien: I know right?! I got SO lucky.
(submitted by @starrynighttime)
Adrien: You may now read the vows you have prepared.
Nino: I think I misunderstood the assignment.
Alya: Oh, just read what you have.
Nino: Okay.
Nino, taking a deep breath: A E I O U.
Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?
Chat Noir after Copycat
(submitted by @miraclelumbam)
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Gabriel comes to visit
Adrien: What is he doing here?!
Marinette: I thought you wanted to make amends!
Adrien: I meant after he was dead. I was planning on standing on his grave and shouting “I forgive you!”
(submitted by @starrynighttime)
Christmas brings enormous electric bills. Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis!
Nathaniel, explaining Chanukah to his friends
Adrien: Well, Marinette, Christmas is just so stressful with the lists and the lines and-and the dancing girls at TV Town Song Room…
Alya: TV Town Song Room? Do you mean Radio City Music Hall?
Adrien: Yeah.
Alya: How could you get so many things wrong in a row?
Adrien: At Radio City Music’s Hall.
Marinette: What is going on here?
Merry Christmas, y’all!
Alya: Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have feelings for Adrien.
Marinette (looking lovingly at Adrien across the room): I don’t have feelings for Adrien.
Alya: Marinette, you are nowhere near my eyes.
Chat Noir: The circumstances under which we met are completely insane. I just wish we met the way normal people meet, like at an anime convention.
Chat Noir: Or after an anime premiere.
Chat Noir: Or...or you came knocking on my door at home asking about anime.
Marinette: Is that how you think people meet?
Chat Noir:
Chat Noir: I don’t know how normal people meet.
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Explaining the use of the Kwagatamas
Rena Rouge: Ancient catboys.
Chat Noir: NYAnderthals, you might say.
Ladybug: I ABSOLUTELY WOULD NOT SAY, WHAT THE F*CK
Good news! I have successfully replaced all my emotions with jokes.
Adrien the Mess Agreste
Chloe: Are you talking about Elmo? Elmo is three years old, idiot!
Alya: How do you know that?
Chloe: How do you not know that?
Chat Noir (bitterly looking at Rena Rouge and Carapace): Please. They think they’re so great just ‘cause they know each other’s allergies? You know what I’m allergic to?
Ladybug: Yup. Them?
Chat Noir: Totally.
Chat Noir: And also bees. You should know that, if I got stung by a bee, I could die.
Alya, after Marinette trash talks Lila again: Why do you always see the worst in people?
Marinette: Because people are the worst.
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I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.
Chloe Bourgeois
(submitted by @miraclelumbam)
The roast of Marinette’s dreams
Marinette: Chloe Bourgeois; elegance, grace, sophistication.
Marinette: But enough about your sister.
Marinette: You know what the worst moment of Chloe’s life was?
Marinette: When the last song played at one of her parties and she would run off and cry because she still hadn’t won her parents approval!
Marinette: I see Lila Rossi is here. Lila and I have a lot in common. Now here’s how you can tell us apart;
Marinette: One of us is a manipulative demon who’s an expert at making other people miserable...
Marinette: And then the other one is me!