Batkids early adoption au except it all happens in the same night (also Bruce Wayne is an idiot)
Bruce goes to the circus. A tragedy occurs. He starts walking back to his car with a freshly orphaned Dick Grayson clinging to his neck. He gets there only to find...
The tires are gone. All but one, which is in the process of being removed by a scrawny street kid named Jason Todd. The boy runs.
Bruce panics. He obviously can't let this poor, obviously homeless kid run off to get crimed in Crime Alley. Bruce does the only thing he can think of: he throws Dick like a pokeball. It works, sort of. Dick catches the kid, the kid catches a concussion.
He bundles the kids into the back of his car and hops in the drivers seat. "Hospital," he says to himself, "I can do this. I'm Batman."
THUMP. They're interrupted by the sound of someone landing bodily on the roof.
Bruce stumbles out of the car to find Tim Drake doing the family guy death pose on top of his $400,000 Mercedes. Above them, a broken fire escape squeaks a threat of more violence. Bruce is distracted by it for only a second, but when he looks back down, Tim is already upright and setting off a camera in his face.
"Hi, Batman!" Tim grins. "I knew it was you."
Bruce blinks away the stars with a sigh and opens the back door again. Tim scrambles off the roof and wanders in.
Bruce now has three childr- wait when did that one get here? Cassandra Cain is wedged into the middle seat between Dick and Jason. She smiles at him sweetly.
Someone wings a brick at them out of nowhere. Tim narrowly avoids further head trauma only because Bruce's dad reflexes activate in time to bat (ha!) it away. Bruce turns to see a little blonde girl sprinting off. He moves to catch her, but steps on Jason's discarded tire iron; it flips up and nails him in the balls. Stephanie Brown gets away.
Bruce realises, while he's writhing pitifully on the ground, that the car still has no tires.
He calls Alfred for help.
Four hours, a hospital visit, a whole lot of paperwork and one long phone call to CPS later, Bruce arrives home with four emergency foster kids in tow.
Talia Al Ghul is sitting in his living room with a baby carrier.
