THE MOTHERFUCKING KING OF HELL

In which; Alastor really wants to go home. Also, his son is there. He wants to take his son home.

Context for some events come from the thread with @the-toon-demon on part 1

Alternatively: I can’t write dialogue to save my life

TW: suicide mention

The building’s doors slammed open, a frustrated Alastor stepping inside, fussing with his hair. Because he wasn’t nearly quick enough, the door slammed on his wing. He pulled it free with an annoyed grunt, ignoring the feathers that were prematurely plucked out, and earning a pitiful hiss from somewhere in front of him.

He turned, his gaze fixing on the two seraphim who he was to have this audience with. Why they felt this necessary was anyone’s guess. If Charlie could run a service for redeeming sinners, why could the angels not run the reverse.

It’s not very fair, now is it?

“Alas-“ the shorter angel with the metal wing started. Alastor assumed the taller one was mostly there due to authority. He was wrong, of course.

“Let me go back.”

The shorter angel began fidgeting with her hands. “Oh-um….”

“And furthermore, allow my son Atticus to accompany me.”

She squeaked. “We, we can’t really-“

“There is no way for us to send you back down, Mr. Montgomery. Furthermore, Hell is not a safe place for someone like Atticus.” the taller angel- Sera. She was the one the shorter one had brought when he first arrived. “The reas-“

“Montgomery-Morningstar.”

No one up here wanted to acknowledge that the newly redeemed soul was married to the devil from their Bibles.

The seraph was no different. “…. The reason he was even damned to Hell in the first place was because he was a harm to himself and took his own life-“

“A bullshit reason if you ask me, he was a good kid! To imply someone deserves Hell for struggling makes me want to stay here less.”

“We humbly ask that you refrain from such fowl language.”

“As Sera was saying-“ the shorter angel piped up again. What was her name? Emma? Esme? Eloise? Whatever “-Hell isn’t safe for your son, so even if we had a way to get you two down there….”

Alastor’s eye twitched. “You have a way to cast angels to Hell. You simply do not like it because it makes you look bad.”

The seraphim fell silently. Ember (goodness, what WAS her name) stared with wide eyes while Sera’s narrowed.

“Mr. Montgomery, fallen angels are a taboo subject! They should not be mentioned nor encouraged.”

“Montgomery-MORNINGSTAR. We all know with a surname like that I am not destined for this place. You will either cast us down yourself or I will find a way down. Or, Hell, Lucifer himself might make his way up here. Would you want that??”

Sera took a deep breath, pinching the area between her eyes where her nose should be. The smaller seraph decided to speak in her stead.

“My offer from earlier- where I said I could show you around, it still stands. See the sights, get some treats, meet new-“

Alastor shook his head. “Showing me what Heaven has to offer will not change my mind. And I do not want “new friends”. I wish to go back, and to take my son with me.”

He stands. His wings remain slack on his back. Goodness him, why couldn’t he store them away somewhere like Vaggi and Lucifer can? Is it a fallen angel only thing?

Bullshit.

“If you two refuse to assist me, I shall find a way for Atticus and I to return home myself. Good day.” he made his way to the door, glancing back briefly. “Take care to remember my name.”

As he exited the building, he had two thoughts on his mind. One, he had to find a way to Hell again, preferably one that rids him of these feathery burdens, and two, thank whatever god there is that the news he is here hasn’t reached Michael.

Reporters were coming from left and right, trying to get a glimpse at the coffin Alastor's body has been put in. They were trying to interview anyone who knew Alastor, such as Charlie – "H-He was an amazing p-person and..." before bursting out into tears –, Vaggi – "...We didn't get along, but even he didn't deserve that fate." –, Husk – "Fuck you.", and even Niffty, who just stared at the camera.

But what most catched the reporters's eyes were the fact that Lucifer Morningstar was nowhere to be seen.

The reason Lucifer wasn't there... is because he didn't want to accept it. Deep down, he knows Alastor is dead and that he will never come back, but he can't bring himself to go to his funeral. He knows he should show up, he knows he's being disrespectful, but he just can't.

Instead, he called all the Sins to meet up with him, Beelzebub and Asmodeus immediately rushed to try and comfort him, but Lucifer stopped them before they could get too close.

"As all of you know, my husband, Alastor, has... been murdered by Michael." He can feel the tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, but he immediately wipes them away. "I've gathered you here today so we could discuss about entering a war with Heaven."

The table was quiet before all the Sins started yelling together. Mammon was asking if he's get paid for the construction of weapons, Levi and Athan were arguing which who should lead their army, Belphegor just said she'd help with the medical part, Satan hasn't been this happy since he was created, Ozzie and Bee were the only ones going against it.

"Luci, we can't do that, I get that you're suffering and–" "Duck King, we can't risk a war against Heaven, y'know they're–"

"ENOUGH."

They all fell silent, staring at Lucifer with wide eyes. The king took a deep breath, holding onto the table, almost breaking it. "That was not a suggestion. That was an order. Do you understand me?"

The Sins looked at each other, they may disagree on many things, but they all care for Lucifer... in their own way of course. In unison, they answered. "Yes, Pride."

Heaven has committed the worst crime, not against humanity, not against Hell, but against Lucifer.

And they will pay.

Mine

....I don't mind

heh. yes. i did this already and got the same guy but like heh. licking my lips. hi sumner.

I REALLY WOULD RATHER NOT ACTUALLY THANKS.

on the contrary, I actually would

Still the wrong angel though

Anyway

THOSE TIMES THAT WE GOT DRUNKKKKK

・_・

aka “Alastor is redeemed unwillingly”

Warning for this bit: he Fucking Dies™️

All Alastor had wanted was to protect Lucifer. That was it, that was all. He had told Lucifer he’d protect him with his life.

And, he did.

Michael, the angel of war, had made his way down to Hell with a select group of high ranking exorcists. Why he had done this was anyone’s guess. But the hotel staff did their best to fend him off.

Michael himself had gone after Lucifer, intending to finish what he had started. To finally rid Heaven’s high rankings of the residuals of their mistake.

And Alastor took the hit for his beloved, just as promised.

It didn’t hurt much! Honest! Just…. A stab through the back. He was impaled.

There was a ruckus. Michael unceremoniously dropped Alastor’s body on the ground, flying up to escape his now enraged brother. He decided tearing Lucifer apart emotionally was enough for now, and returned to Heaven, followed by his exorcists.

The last thing Alastor saw was Lucifer’s face, his ruby red eyes already welling with tears.

And then, he was gone.

Niffty and Husk knew something was wrong first. The weight of your soul being returned to you is a unique one. Niffty’s knife fell from her hands, the insectoid sinner remaining unusually still and quiet as she slowly put two and two together.

She ran, the rest of the crew following, with Husk the closest. Obviously, she got there first. She stared, her one eye absorbing the scene before her as everyone else slowly gathered behind her.

Lucifer, the king of hell, the sin of pride, curled around the unmoving body of their friend. Boss, in Husk’s case.

Adoptive father, in Niffty’s.

The short demon in question made her way over. Lucifer’s body language, and the fact he was sobbing about how unfair it was, how he had tried so hard to be good and do good, should have clued her in that it was too late. But maybe, just maybe….

She turned Alastor’s hand over to check his wrist. No pulse. She checked his neck, just under his chin. No pulse. She rested her ear on his chest, holding her breath.

No heartbeat. His chest didn’t move with a breath.

Niffty’s sobs joining Lucifer’s told the slowly moving in crew all they needed to know.

The funeral would be the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alastor’s eyes snapped open, and he immediately shielded them with his hand. Wherever one goes after second death, it’s quite bright….

Something- someone - gasped.

“Omigosh! Hi! We weren’t expecting anyone- oh! I have to get Sera! Sera! Seraaaa-!”

The voice faded at the end, just as Alastor’s eyes finally began adjusting to the light so he could lower his hand. He caught a glimpse of wings as whoever was talking left the room.

He blinked, confused, before he realized he recognized them. Especially the odd metal wing out.

…. No. No no no! This wasn’t supposed to- he was supposed to just-

He looked himself over as best he could, his heart hammering in his ears. Minor outfit changes, his coat now lacking tears….

And a pair of large, light red wings adorning his back.

He suddenly felt very, very cold.

He heard Niffty's sobs next to him, he wanted to pull her to a hug. They may haven't be close, but they did have something in common: they both loved Alastor. And that man was now gone.

He felt Charlie touch his shoulder, he felt her hugging him, but he couldn't feel the warmth in it, no matter how hard he tried. He always ran hot, accompanied by Alastor's cold body, and now?

Now his husband is colder than he should be.

He tries to heal Alastor, telling himself he can fix this, he will come back. Alastor promised he wouldn't leave him. He promised.

But no matter how much he cries, how much he begs, how much he prays to a God that has abandoned him long ago, he can't bring Alastor back. His body is healed, sure, but his soul isn't there.

He can hear the others saying something about "funeral", but even that he ignores. Throwing a funeral would be a good way to say farewell... but it would also confirm that Alastor isn't coming back.

Lucifer can't do that.

He can't accept Alastor is gone.

Forever.

A scream that hurts everyone's ears comes out of Lucifer. They turn around just in time to see the king in a form they've never seen before.

His tears have turned into lava, burning Lucifer's skin as they make their path down his cheek. And it only gets worse as more eyes appear on his face and wings, they all stare up at Heaven.

They all stare up at–

"M͉̅ͮ͒ͤ I̍̅̀̎̊ Ĉ̵̢̢̱̞̻̣͕͈̱̥̤̳͉ Ḩ̶̳̣̮̻̪̜͍̹̭͓͍̳̼̈́̅́̄̍̀͐́̊̽͌̊̂͂͠͝͝ Ą̵̘̥͉̿̀̈̒̂̅̀̅̈́̓̏͊͘͝Ḛͭ̉̇͟ L̴̢̥̞͚̫̠̰̳͍̹͎̠̲̺̳͛̾͌̆́̂̒͗̓͝ͅ"

The King Of Hell has declared war against all of Heaven.

Mine

....I don't mind

heh. yes. i did this already and got the same guy but like heh. licking my lips. hi sumner.

I REALLY WOULD RATHER NOT ACTUALLY THANKS.

on the contrary, I actually would

Still the wrong angel though

Anyway

THOSE TIMES THAT WE GOT DRUNKKKKK

After making sure Óphis is not going to move without his consent, he tried to bite the apple on papa Lucifer's hat.

The apple in Lucifer's hat literally created a mouth and screamed its seeds off. Lucifer yelped and rushed to see what was happening. "What is it?! Is Alastor hurt?! IS CHARLI– Oh."

" Veado? "

" É, deve ser um viado. "

" Veado? "

" É, deve ser um viado. "

//AAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU AND HI HI HI HIIII!!

This has been an au I’ve been microwaving in my head for a while!! When I write Radioapple, Alastor always has this specific fear of getting redeemed because he knows the person he cares for most (Lucifer) can’t follow him.

So I figured, why not write an au where exactly that happens!! Plus the extra themes of he would have rather died than waking up in Heaven

No spoilers for the ending~ BUT BUT BUT I do have a Lucifer!!