Blanco

It never breaks. It never bends.

It only loops inside my head,

A spinning wheel I’ve overfed.

I’m dizzy from the highs and lows,

From chasing what will not disclose

Itself in clarity or truth —

Just blurred-out visions shaped like you.

I wish I never fell this deep,

Maybe then my soul could sleep.

Maybe then my chest would ease

Instead of tightening on my knees.

I can’t endure more grief or shame,

My heart’s on trial for love’s own name.

Humiliated for wanting more,

For knocking on a bolted door.

I’ve walked away too many times,

Left quiet rooms and unsent lines.

Not once did someone call my name,

Not once did love protest the flame.

I’m tired of running this alone,

Of building castles made of stone

With only one set of hands to hold

A story that’s already cold.

It’s the same cruel show on repeat —

Ecstasy followed by retreat.

A reckless rise, a hollow fall,

A whispered hope, then nothing at all.

How small it feels to love this way,

To beg for someone just to stay.

Through rain and thunder, storm and night,

And find no body in your fight.

I’ve cried enough. I’ve knelt and prayed.

Asked God why this path was laid.

Why lead my heart so far from home

Just to leave it lost, alone?

Walking away feels wrong, untrue —

Like leaving walls I once outgrew.

Like packing up a life half-built

With hands still trembling, full of guilt.

But staying hurts me even more.

I cannot bleed on this floor.

So I will leave, though love remains —