Mirrored Cola

*boom* *boom*

As Edd and Matt open up the front door as they were told, they’re immediately met upon by a medley of explosions in the distance. A faint silhouette of a rocket powered flying sled can be seen cast against the moon, as missiles seemingly are ejected from it, as they’re clearly the source of the destruction.

Please don’t tell me that’s really Tom up there, doing all of that……

Of course, standing just a few feet away from the duo was Zanta, who was busy enjoying himself on some fresh brains from an unfortunate bystander.

“Zanta!”, both Edd and Matt exclaim towards him.

“Sup?”

“I knew you had to be behind this!”, Edd says, raising his right fist in frustration.

“No, it’s not-", was all that escaped from Zanta’s jawless-mouth, before he’s immediately tackled by Matt.

“CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE CHRISTMAS ALONE?!”, Matt weeps out, as he tugs on Zanta’s filthy red coat. He promptly pushes Matt away, before trying to explain himself yet again.

“Look, I’m clearly not the one doing this?”

“Yeah, but it’s still very much your fault, isn’t it.”, says Future Edd, as he finally begins to exit through the front door, with one hand still rubbing against the side of his head.

“Uh, who are you?”

“It’s none of your business. What is our business is that we need to stop Tom before he completes his stupidly reckless rampage of destroying Christmas for everyone.”

“Uh. Okay? Still, seriously, who the hell are you? Did you replace the guy with the red hoodie? He was my favorite…..”

Future Edd’s jaw clenches upon hearing that, as he promptly strides closer towards Zanta. Understandably, the undead saint could immediately tell that something was off about this ‘new’ member amongst Edd’s friends, and he begins to back up.

“Hey uhhhh big guy, slow your roll there! Hey, HEY-”

Zanta is immediately lifted off of the ground, as his gangly stature is no match for Future Edd’s raw bulk and his strangely tall height. He practically flops around in his grasp, as the faint clinking of his skeleton’s bones can be audibly heard by the trio.

Future Edd pulls Zanta’s face close to his, seemingly unafraid of the possibility of being so easily bitten and turned.

“You complete and utter NUMSKULL. Why the hell did you even entertain the IDEA of teaming up with Tom?! He hates literally EVERYTHING about this damn holiday, which obviously includes YOU.”

“Well, uh, since he hates Christmas and I do too, it seemed like a good idea to enter into an evil partnership together! I’ve always wanted a henchman anyways, as it gets lonely in my humble abode. Plus, how was I supposed to know he’d betray me immediately?……wait, how you’d even know I tried to team up with Tom?”

“I JUST KNOW THINGS.”, Future Edd blurts out, as he shakes Zanta around a little bit more in his grasp.

“Okay, okay! Let me go already, I can feel my skullcap beginning to sag off, and I even think my spleen fell into my thigh!”

Future Edd physically gags at the mental visual of either plausible option, as he purposely slams Zanta into the front lawn’s snow, before wiping his hands off on his black coat.

“Stand up and get in the damn house already.”

As Zanta peels himself off of the snow, he balks at Future Edd’s demand.

“After how you just treated me? I’d rather return back to Hell where I belong!”

That was all Future Edd needed to hear, in order to immediately snatch Zanta by his rotten coat’s fur collar and to promptly drag him across the front entrance’s walkway, in order to get him inside of the house.

Edd and Matt slowly turn their heads to face each other, before mutually shrugging their shoulders. They soon follow suit, as they both eye the constant stream of distant explosions across the city, one last time before closing the front door.

———————————————-

Future Edd tosses their ‘invited’ guest over onto the living room sofa, still looking quite vexed over the whole matter.

“SIT HERE, AND STAY.”

“Fine, ugh, you’re so bossy! I really miss the red one right now, as he wasn’t as annoying as you are.”

Future Edd ignores Zanta’s pitiful insult, as he instead storms off of the kitchen, leaving the rest of the guys in the living room, unsure of what to do next. Matt decides it’s a good idea to perhaps keep watch outside of a window, mainly to keep tabs on where Tom is currently at, as he keeps criss-crossing all over the London skyline.

Meanwhile, Zanta had picked up the TV remote and was now channel surfing, desperately trying to find any channel that wasn’t playing any sort of Christmas special. He eventually settled on the nightly news, which was of course reporting on Tom’s rampage.

Edd idly stands by, gently tugging on his hoodie’s drawstrings, now unsure of what to do to keep himself occupied as well.

I think I should check up on Edward at least. He’s still probably in so much pain right now, so hopefully he’s not laid out cold on the kitchen floor currently……. I hope.

Edd shudders to himself briefly, before making way to the kitchen. Within it, there was Future Edd beside the fridge, already chugging down a liter of cranberry cola, with a feverous look on his face. It looked as if he was capable of downing it all in one gulp, although his current expression seems to be born more out of terrified stress than determination.

The two briefly exchange a worried glance, before Edd opens up the fridge and just pulls out a singular can of cola to enjoy.

As Edd contemplates on opening it up drinking it, he instead tucks it into his hoodie’s front pocket and steps a bit closer to his future self.

“So uhhh, what do we do now then?”

“We wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“Just trust me Edd, Matt will soon open his mouth and say Santa’s here in just a few minutes.”

“And that is somewhat relevant to us saving Christmas? Oh wait, yeah, Santa did save us in a pinch that one time before.”

“Yeah but, um, things play out a bit differently this time……”

As Future Edd trails off at the end of his last sentence, yet another explosion is heard in the distance. It was close-ish enough however that it rattled the kitchen’s windows, alongside some of silverware that Matt had already placed out onto the kitchen’s dining table.

Future Edd’s face winces as he his body reflexively flinches at that booming sound in the distance, as Edd gets even closer to him. He eventually places a gentle hand onto one of his arms, softly stroking it as Future Edd’s body begins to finally relax after it impulsively tensed up.

“Still afraid of loud noises, aren’t you.”

“Y-yeah……. Don’t stop.”

“I won’t.”

The two are now standing side-by-side, as Edd allows Future Edd to pull him into a small hug. Future Edd cradles and strokes the back of Edd’s head, and his past self doesn’t seem to mind it at all.

While pressing his face against his future self’s broad chest, Edd begins to talk.

“I don’t like seeing you hurting so badly like this.”

“Well, it’s out of my hands. The ‘good’ thing at least is that I wasn’t in that much pain this time, when compared to the first time it happened. Perhaps I’m finally starting to get used to it.”

“Still, how much more of this do you need to endure? Will it continue to get weaker every time? Or will you just flat out have a heart attack the very next time and drop dead?!”

“………I’m not sure. Anything is possible, sadly.”

As the two continue to gently embrace, a loud muffled thud suddenly emanates from what seems to be the front of the house. Future Edd pulls his hand away from the back of Edd’s head, as he breaks up their hug, now turning his attention towards the living room.

“He’s here.”

“Who’s here?”

“The jolly fat man.”

“Ohhhh.”

“Come on, the faster we do this the faster we can at least enjoy the rest of the evening. Besides, the smell of that simmering roast in the oven is driving me up the wall, since I know it’s still not done.”

Edd responds back with a faint smile, before the duo finally leaves the kitchen, just to see Santa himself standing within the front entrance’s doorway.

——————————————-

“Sup guys.”

“Sup.”, Matt says after a sharp inhale.

As Santa enters the house, he briefly arches one of his brows upon spotting both his undead rival, alongside that oddly tall individual in a black trench coat.

“So, Santa! Any ideas how to save Christmas this year?”, Edd earnestly asks.

“Uhhh, festive spirit?”

Future Edd loudly scoffs towards Santa, as he nervously taps his right foot upon knowing what will happen next.

“Well, it’s a good job one of us has connections.”, Zanta boasts, as he pulls out his customized flip phone and speed dials whoever he was implying.

Good, Bing will arrive with that ‘van’ and we can immediately get to trying to blow Tom out of the damn sky. Hopefully Bing doesn’t realize that I’m living here though….. maybe I should stay inside when he drops it off.

“Okay guys, our special delivery should be out in the next 30 seconds or so. It better be, or I’ll be telling the ghosts of Christmas to pay that fella a visit, heh heh.”

Looks like I’m not the only one who’s been extorting Bing then.

“Alright, you all heard Zanta. Stand outside and wait for it, and I’ll uh, I’ll nip to the loo. So just go outside. NOW.”

Nobody seemed opposed to Future Edd’s demand, as they all silently shuffled out of the living room, for what feels like the umpteenth time today.

Future Edd waited for the door the close, before immediately ducking below the closest window to him, waiting for Bing to arrive in his helicopter. As said by Zanta, he really did arrive in about 30 seconds.

He watches as the helicopter quickly descends upon the road, dropping off its large boxy payload, right in front of the quartet. Matt had to continually push down and fix his hair, as the helicopter’s blades kept pushing downward winds to all of them, as all of their coats and hoodies erratically flapped around as well.

“HERE YOU GO ZANTA! CONSIDER MY DEBT, REPAID!”, Bing bellows out, over the loud whirring of the helicopter’s blades.

“What?”

“I said-I SAID CONSIDER MY DEP-”

“WHAAAAAT?!”

Bing frowns upon hearing this reply from Zanta, before signaling to the helicopter’s pilot, being Larry of course, to fly back to their evil laboratory. Repaying this debt was a bit of a sudden circumstance, as they certainly wanted to return back to the lab, in order to finish their Christmas dinner together with a select few of the clones they actually like being with.

As the helicopter is finally out of sight, Future Edd opens the front door at the very moment that the large rectangular crate bursted open by itself. It revealed a rose colored Volkswagen van, which made Edd’s future self blink a couple of times when seeing it.

Wasn’t it supposed to be lavender?

Future Edd couldn’t dwell on this minor detail though, as he views Edd and the rest of the guys now giddily piling up into the van. He soon follows, promptly closing the van’s double-doors behind him.

The inside of the van was hollow, save for two seats in the front of the car, as everything else appeared as a grey box within. Edd manages to spot a large red button on the driver seat’s dashboard, which triggered the hidden transformation sequence.

As Future Edd expected, it immediately began to tremble and whir, as it suddenly pushed itself upwards, as the transformation had begun. The legs were the first to erupt from the false chassis of the van, soon followed up by the torso, arms, and head. After it settled, Edd was utterly amazed by the van’s transformation, especially since he was now in the one of the two operator’s seats for it.

Santa however seemed unimpressed, as he flatly asks, “Why did we think the van was a good idea?”.

“Don’t ask me, ask your putrid undead doppelgänger.”, Future Edd retorts. He then pushes both Santa and Zanta away from him, in order to get to Matt’s seat against the control panel.”

“You already know what I’m going to ask of you.”

“Aw, boo. I wanted to have fun hunting down Tom!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll probably find a way to do that on your own time.”

Matt crosses his arms in mild anger, as he dejectedly gives up the seat for Edd’s future self. As Future Edd adjusts the chair, he peers a bit into one of the mech’s ‘eyes’, in order to see how high up they were.

Upon looking down and seeing some of transformed robot, Future Edd briefly gasps in utter shock, by noticing that it’s now fully clad in that red colored titanium steel plating that he’d been giving to Bing for months. Looks like the mad director certainly found a use in applying it to his larger projects, much, MUCH sooner than Future Edd had expected.

Please don’t tell me he managed to recreate the same exact missiles that Tord had in his mech, all within this one.

“Edward? Hey snap out of it already, your eyes are getting crossed.”

“S-sorry. I’m just uh, caught off guard by how, um, brilliantly colored this mech is.”

“It’s a bit of an eyesore innit? I think a nice cobalt blue would’ve been better, I don’t know what Bing was thinking in plating it in such a bold shade of red.”

“Heh, yeah, I dunno why either…..”

“Okay enough lollygagging around, do you remember what we did next in that thing?”

“Well we attempted to blow Tom out of the sky, just like he did it to Santa just a few minutes ago.”

“Seems easy enough.”

Future Edd lets out a small laugh, before looking down upon the simplified control panel. It had less buttons and switches compared to the control panel that he had torn apart in Tord’s mech, which implied to him that this mech is more rudimentary in nature.

Before even being able to fiddle around further with the controls, Zanta suddenly points at a familiar silhouette, now coming directly at them.

“TOOOMMMMM!!!”

“Evening everyone! Mmmerry Christmas!~”, Tom says, as he essentially parks Zanta’s sled mid-air, as his face is plastered with a swarmy looking smile.

“Tom, you’ve gone too far this time! You’re destroying Christmas!”, Edd shouts out towards his still visibly tipsy friend.

“Literally!”, Matt interjects.

“Yeah, literally. What does that mean?”, Edd confusedly asks towards Matt, who was now standing directly behind him within the mech’s spacious cockpit.

“Can it Edd! Y’know what? It’s my turn to enjoy Christmas! You’ve had your fun!”

“THE ONLY THING YOU’LL FEEL IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE, AGAIN!”, Future Edd suddenly screams out, his face already turning a bold red in rage.

Tom recoils a bit at the verbal threat, before immediately tugging on the sled’s reins, commanding all of Zanta’s undead reindeer to fly away.

Future Edd lets out an annoyed groan, before slamming his fist onto the big red button labeled ‘WEAPON Z’, making sure to target the reindeer first.

What’s the use of a flying sleigh, if it has nothing to help propel it?

As the mech’s chest panels open up to reveal a gargantuan sized machine gun barrel, it fired off into a stream of bullets, but the majority of them had missed their intended target. Some of the undead reindeer were indeed shot, but as their rotting guts began to spill out of their bodies, they kept on flying as if nothing happened.

“Zasher! Zancer! Zrancer! Zixen! Zomet! Zupid! Zonner! Zlitzen! Stop targeting at them, do you know how hard it is to find and train reanimated reindeer?!”, Zanta yells out towards Future Edd, who was now simmering in his seat.

“Did you seriously try to name your reindeer after mine?”, Santa asks towards his undead counterpart.

“Well, duh, of course I did. I’m Zanta, you’re Santa, there’s Rudolph and Zudolph, so on and so forth.”

“Wow. So creative.”

As Tom laughs loudly upon himself being unscathed by the volley of bullets, he continues to taunt the guys by sending a missile to blow up a large Christmas tree that was set up near by for their local community.

Fuck, I would’ve thought that using it right away would’ve made this end faster! I HATE THIS. I JUST WANTED TO HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS TOGETHER. AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

At this point, anything goes in Future Edd’s infuriated eyes. He ignored Edd’s warning, telling him to ‘not press everything without reading it first’, as he repeatedly slammed his fist into the control panel, not caring at all on what he just activated, or if he’s going to wind up breaking the entire thing.

Unfortunately, he really should’ve listened to Edd in that moment, as a strange creaking sound was starting to build up in the cockpit.

“What is that?!”, Matt cried out in worry.

“I don’t know, but if all of you somehow die in a horrible accident thanks to that old guy in the chair, I WILL be eating your remains.”, Zanta says, before letting out a hearty string of devious laughter.

Eventually the creaking stopped, moments right before Future Edd is suddenly ejected out of his seat. He was right about the mech being rudimentary in a sense, as Bing had to cut corners for the emergency ejection mechanism, instead going with a massive oversized spring that needs to be slowly wound up first before ejecting the operator that activated it.

As Future Edd is flung through a circular hatch that suddenly opened up in the top of the mech’s head, the rest of the guys could only watch upwards in sudden shock, as he is thrown into the wintery night sky.

For a second, seeing London from such an angle is indeed quite beautiful. Sure, parts of it were now on fire thanks to Tom, but seeing the gorgeous starry sky being cast against such a large skyline was indeed stunning. Granted, Future Edd would’ve of course enjoyed this view better, if he wasn’t flung up to his death.

I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL TOM.

There really was no real option for Future Edd to take, other than accepting his immediate death against the cold asphalt ground. Of course, he refused to take that option, and knew he had to fly for once.

As his body finished reaching the topmost arc of being ejected, he could sense the split-second in which he was going to start descending. He grits his teeth, nearly missing biting off the tip of his tongue by doing so, before starting to fly.

Out of all of his residual powers, flight is the one he is the most terrified of using, as the consequences of using it are agonizing under certain conditions. Doing it for too long will literally leave him in inconsolable agony. However in this case, he’s already still dealing with the head pain from earlier, so what’s the harm in adding more? Besides, he’s already been lifted high up into the air, so he really only needs to glide towards Tom, so it shouldn’t harm him too much.

Future Edd makes sure to make his ‘descent’ feel somewhat realistic enough, as his body’s downwards arc begins to turn much more horizontal than it should’ve been, as he now glides towards Tom in Zanta’s sleigh.

He soon reaches it, although he actually smashes into the back it, instead of landing carefully. As he pulls himself out of the mess of broken wood that he just created, Tom faintly shrieks at seeing his uninvited guest, as Future Edd finishes crawling over Zanta’s bag of weapons, planting his feet right next to Tom in the front of the sled.

The after-effects of just simply gliding began to occur, as blood spontaneously began to spurt out of Future Edd’s nose, splattering all over his hoodie and across the sled’s floor. Tom flinches in disgust, mainly at how violent the flow of blood seems to be, not even fully realizing how it’s slightly glowing.

Future Edd lets out a pained groan, although it’s immediately replaced by angry gurgles, as he spits up some more of his unnaturally tinted blood.

Future Edd of course is so deeply fed up with everything that he had to deal with this evening, as he immediately tries to clamp his hands over Tom’s hands, pulling him away from the sled’s reins. The undead reindeer all squeal in surprise, as they come to a sudden halt, hovering in place as Future Edd and Tom continue the struggle in such a confined space.

“STOP RESISTING, LET ME LAND THIS GODFORSAKEN SLED ALREADY.”

“NO, I’M NOT LETTING YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!”

“TOM!”

“EDWARD!”

“TOM!!!”

Future Edd manages to finally get the upper hand, as he kicks one of Tom’s legs, letting the much smaller man topple over, falling onto his hands and knees on the sled’s floor.

As Tom looks up to face what would be his demise, Future Edd pulls him up fully by the collar, letting Tom’s legs desperately kick against the much larger man’s legs and lower torso. Considering how much Future Edd had endured before, being hit by Tom’s flailing kicks felt like absolutely nothing.

Future Edd finally raises up his right fist, as the moon’s light casts a harsh shadow of it against Tom’s face.

Tom quickly closes his hollow eyes, and braces for what he would consider to be a lethal punch.

It never comes.

As he slowly opens up his sockets, he’s now greeted by Future Edd lowering his fist, as he spots a singular tear tricking down the side of his face.

“T-Tom, please, I…… I understand your frustration. It hurts, it hurts to be reminded, right? About how your family never let you celebrate Christmas, and how alone you’ve always felt on this day.”

Tom doesn’t reply, as his solid black eye sockets widen in shock instead. He’s never told anyone much about his childhood, let alone how his sapient object parents restricted him from experiencing so much stuff that other ‘normal’ families got to enjoy.

“Let’s just ignore everything you did today, r-right? That sounds good? The guys probably won’t forgive you, but I will.”

Tom still doesn’t reply, as he now instead tries to pull Future Edd’s death-grip off the fur collar of the santa coat he was wearing, to no avail.

“STOP. Just, please, stop. I-I don’t w-want to kill you. Really. Let’s just park the sled and go back home, right? Back to normal like usual? I can even tell both Santa and Zanta to fuck off, if you’d like.”

“…….u-uh……”

“………………..

“Stop staring at me like that, you’re creeping me out!”

“Say yes. Now.”

“YES. T-TOTALLY, YES!”

Future Edd’s grip on Tom’s collar doesn’t relent, as he carefully turns to grab onto the sled’s reins, forcing Zanta’s reindeer to finally descend to the snowy ground, right in front of Edd’s house. As it descends, the remaining quartet within the mech have already activated the de-transformation of it, as it loudly creaks and clunks back into being a faux van again.

As they cheer in Tom’s rampage being over, they immediately become silent at seeing at bloodied Future Edd is, as he yanks Tom out of the sled, now dragging him against the snowy ground.

“Edward?! Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. I just need a shower. I did it at least, it’s now over.”

Future Edd glares down at Tom, who still looked quite rattled, as he limply lies against the ground. Finally, Edd’s future self lets go of Tom, via shredding off that Santa coat off of him, as if it was made out of wrapping paper.

“GET INSIDE AND HELP MATT WITH THE ROAST.”

“Y-yes!”, Tom says, as he scrambles himself off of the ground and runs straight into the house. As Future Edd turns his head to face Zanta, he sneers at him, before fishing out something from his trench coat.

He might’ve stopped smoking, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t carry a lighter anymore. He briefly runs his thumb over the engraved Red Army logo on it, before chucking it straight to Zanta’s sleigh.

It instantly explodes upon the lighter’s flame grazing against it, thanks to the fact that Zanta kept a large bomb hidden within his sack of weapons.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!??!!!!??!!? Why did you DO that!??!?”, Zanta screams out, as the reigns on his undead reindeer began to snap, allowing the rotting creatures to flee away into the night sky, stranding their former owner.

“I did it, since I want you GONE.”, Future Edd barks back, now walking closer to Zanta, as the explosive fire behind him still rages on.

Before Future Edd could lay a hand on him, Santa gets in the way between the two.

“Y’know Zanta, I-“

“Oh I know, I hated this holiday ever since I died and you took my place. Maybe it’s time I moved on and got a life.”

“You really mean that?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna go back to being dead.”

“GOOD.”, Future Edd spits out, as both Santa and Zanta awkwardly look towards him.

“Well, if I’m going to be dead again, I’ll make sure to be far away from that freak. Cya chumps!”

Zanta winks towards all of them, before immediately booking it and running down Durdam Lane’s empty road, far enough to the point where none of them can spot him anymore.

Good riddance.

As Future Edd turns his head to face Santa, the saint raises his mittens up, before speaking.

“I can already tell you would like for me to leave as well. Don’t worry, I will, as I still need to deliver presents to the rest of the good boys and girls across the rest of the world. Before I go though, I do have some presents for you all!~”

Thanks to some Christmas magic, he digs within the pockets of his coat, pulling out some small gifts for the guys.

“One for you Edd, one for you Matt, one for Tom, surprisingly, and uh, one for that guy as well.”

“M-me?”, Future Edd asks, while pointing at himself.

“Well, you did save Christmas after all, plus thanks for freaking out Zanta as well, I’m glad he’s out of the picture, ho ho ho!~”

“Wow, I actually didn’t expect to get anything at all, thank you Sant-huh?”

As Future Edd looked up from staring at the small flat wrapped gift box that Santa gave him, he was already gone. Seemingly, neither Edd or Matt saw where he went either.

“Heh, I got new cola t-shirt!”, Edd joyfully exclaims, as he pulls it out of the green gift box that Santa gave him.

“Ooooo! A handmade nutcracker, painted to look like me! This is the best gift ever!!!”, Matt says, already hugging the nutcracker that he pulled out of a lavender gift bag.

As Future Edd looks down upon again the small flat gift box that he received, he carefully peels back the sparkly dark green wrapping paper. The box had a thin lid, and as he slowly pulls it aside, his breathing hitches.

It was an empty, small red colored picture frame.

Future Edd glups silently to himself, before gingerly closing the box’s lid.

Edd now walked to be beside him, gently nudging him in the shoulder, before asking “So, what did you get Edward?”

“A reminder.”

——————————————-

“I got the Christmas crackers! Finally, I’ve been itching to open them all day.”

“Thanks Edd! The roast is almost ready, especially since after a certain somebody’s whole fiasco here, it thankfully didn’t burn.”

Matt pulls the roasted turkey out of the oven, as a slightly nervous looking Tom stands beside him. He hasn’t talked much since being told to assist Matt, as he helps hand over the carving tools to help cut into the delicious roasted meat.

“Well it’s almost time to serve, has Edward gotten back from the shower?”

“I think so? We should go ahead and serve it already, he probably won’t mind.

As the trio works at serving the meat, alongside setting up some mashed potatoes and pouring their drinks, Future Edd was quietly hiding his small gift for Edd under the tree.

To his utter surprise, Edd had placed an unusually large gift bag there, with his name written on it.

What?…… why?…….

As Future Edd re-reads the large gift’s name tag, to ensure that it really is meant for him, Edd calls out that dinner is served. Future Edd looks back at the bag, tempted to peep at what his past self had gotten him, but he shook his head and stoped himself from doing so. Upon walking into the kitchen, the guys were surprised to see that he’s wearing only his old slightly tattered Smeg Head t-shirt, as he had thrown his bloodied hoodie and coat into the laundry already.

“I’m glad you could join us for dinner! I’ve been waiting for this all day, my stomach is killing me!”

“I need this too. Could you please hand me the gravy?”

“Of course! Tom, get the gravy.”

“Y-you got it Edd!”

As Tom nervously passes over the gravy boat, Future Edd gives a weak smile back towards him. Tom feigns a fake smile back, before looking down at his plate and got straight into eating the roast.

I’m glad he’s not in a full body cast in this timeline….. hopefully I didn’t perturb him too much about how much I know about him….. maybe next Christmas will be better for him at least. He can probably cope way better than I ever could.

As the Christmas dinner goes, Edd and May delight themselves with breaking open the Christmas crackers, practically mixing in confetti into their food. Seemingly they didn’t mind it as they were now in good spirits, even soon including Tom, surprisingly enough.

By the time they finished gorging themselves on the entire roast, Future Edd was now wearing a green paper crown, matching alongside with Edd. Tom had even managed to get most of the crackers that contained liquor-filled chocolates within in them, much to this pleasure.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries and even Tom finally opening up his gift from Santa, which was a new checkerboard guitar strap for Susan, everyone had left to go to sleep, save for Edd and Future Edd.

They both remained in the living room, both watching some of the last few Christmas specials together on TV, while also trying to fake ignoring each other’s gifts below the Christmas tree.

Is he going to finally ask about it?

Is he going to finally ask about it?

The two exchange a look, staring deeply into each other’s pupils, before both simultaneously looking at the gifts under the tree yet again.

As if on cue, they both jumped off the sofa and went on their knees, quickly rummaging under the tree to get their gifts. After plucking out some of the pine needles that stuck to their hands, they eyed each other, as if waiting for further confirmation to open up what they got.

Eventually, Edd caved in first.

He pulled out the gift bag’s tissue paper, before his fingers pressed against the steel pencil tin. His hazel eyes lit up immediately, fully agog at what he was holding in his hands.

“HOW? WHY? WHEN? HUH?”

“Heh, I knew you wanted to get those pretty badly.”

“But these cost so much! And they’re even part of a limited production run! How did you?…..”

“Well, I am you after all, no wonder I knew what you wanted for Christmas.”

“Okay, okay, hee hee, open up yours!”

Future Edd looks at the large gift bag in his grasp, slight anxious about what could be inside. He slowly takes out the tissue paper, before feeling his fingers run against some sort of fabric.

He pulls it out, realizing it’s a new black trench coat.

“Do you like it?”

Future Edd wordlessly stares at the coat, as he rubs his right thumb against the coat’s lapels. The material feels fresh and luxurious, a far cry from the tattered and beaten coat he always kept on.

“…….um, if you don’t like it or if it doesn’t fit, I do have the receipt, uh…….”

“Thank you Edd.”

“So, you do like it?”

“I do. Let me put it on.”

After standing up and casting it against his large frame, it was shockingly the perfect fit.

Upon closer inspection, it seemed to be nearly the same exact style of trench coat as his old one, save for it having a few more pockets inside, and it having some dark green embroidery across the cuffs of the sleeves and across the hems as well.

Unlike his old one, it had no history at all, it was a total clean slate.

“………thank you Edd. I would’ve never imagined getting something today.”

“It’s the least I could do-OH?”

Edd is cut off by his future self, as he is pulled into yet another deep embrace. The two hug tightly against the Christmas tree, as Future Edd repeatedly whispers out ‘thank you’, before they both say merry Christmas for the last time this evening.

Back in 2024, I came up with the idea of a comic where the entire concept is that I rewrote Eddsworld, but I inserted my, to put it bluntly, Mary Sue OC into it. (I say that lovingly, of course!) As I rewrote WTFuture, I had the idea that Future Edd's motivation to go back in the past isn't fuelled by a ban of cola, but rather, the disappearance of the OC.

Much more specifically, Future Edd believes that the OC is dead and it was all his fault. At first, when he goes back in time, his attempts are NOT to kill himself-- but rather, to try and see if he could change the past so in the present, the OC would still be with him. Nothing he does works, though.

Frustrated with nothing bringing them back, is when he decides he's better off killing himself as he'd rather die than deal with the loss of this OC.

And unlike canon, he actually succeeds, blowing his past self's head off with one extremely sharp shot! To his horror, though, nothing happens.

So he does it again. And again. And again. And again, until he's lost count of how many times he's "gone back in time" to kill himself. At some point, out of frustration, he kills the very OC he wanted to protect; the guilt eating him up immediately. He takes their signature hairpin, putting it onto himself as a grim reminder of what he's done. Absentmindedly, Future Edd fiddles with his time device, noticing that the numbers on it changed to one he recognizes from before. Hesitantly, he smacks his machine and gets transported in time once more.

To his shock, he's back at one of his "attempts to fix things", the scene left as gruesome as he left it, which is when realization hits him. He hasn't been traveling back in time, he's been traveling between timelines, and he wasn't killing his own past self over and over but randomly killing Edds from all sorts of universes.

As Future Edd basically suffocates with horror, he gets fed up and resets the time device, unsure what it would do. He smacks it, finding himself in a pure white void, breaking down as realization sets in. He doesn't know where his original timeline is, if he'll ever make it back, and he can't even begin to comprehend how much damage he must have done in his attempts to fix things.

It's not until a noticeably older Future Edd appears in the same void that he snaps out of it a bit. They talk for a bit before coming to the realization that this Older Future Edd (who we will now call 'OFE' for short) is someone who lost HIS version of the OC thanks to one of Future Edd's attempts to "fix" things, which ends up in near bloody murder at first.

It doesn't take too long for other Future Edds to start cropping up too-- all sorts of variants between "I'm here to fix things" and "I'm here because some OTHER Future Edd fucked things up and I want to fix that". OFE persuades Future Edd to establish partnership and for them to start working together on a new goal: Round up any stray Future Edds so they don't cause any trouble, and to continue trying to prevent versions of the OC from dying or going missing-- be it because of the timeline's natural events or because of a Future Edd's meddling.

Future Edd's life then kind of turns into a cycle, his primary goals being what they agreed upon, keeping a journal of all the timelines they've already visited and done work at; as well as picking up supplies and things, seeing that a lot of them end up making themselves at home, as they call it, at the Future Edd Nexus.

// Pausing the story explanation for a second; the Nexus alone I feel has a lot of potential, with there literally being hundreds of Future Edds-- THE Future Edd and OFE themselves could be very interesting to explore, platonically or otherwise. What really sucked me in and sold me on the ship, however, has to be a specific Edd from a specific timeline that Future Edd finds himself exploring... //

In one of the timelines, which I personally dubbed the 'Apocalypse Timeline', there is an eternal zombie outbreak with eternal consequences. Most of London is dead-- including Edd's friends; Tom, Matt and even Ringo, all gone. The only survivors are Edd himself, and the OC. They spend their lives doing nothing but trying to survive.

Needless to say when this Edd sees Future Edd, he is NOT happy about it, nor does he trust him. At all. The two bicker and argue for forever before Future Edd finally convinces Edd and the OC to come with him, and man does he regret it.

For the next few MONTHS, this Edd plays nice in front of OFE, but does his absolute best to spite and sabotage Future Edd, to the point he gets SICK of it. Of course, it's not like he can do much about it. Not without getting in major trouble anyway, it's just not worth the headache. That, and despite making things worse MOST of the time, there's opportunities where Edd helps out a lot. And it's during a mission, in the middle of a zombie infected crisis, that Edd learns to appreciate Future Edd a bit more.

He ends up being saved, several times, and it doesn't take long for Edd to develop the butterflies. Of course he spends a while in denial, after all he insists that Future Edd is a prick and he doesn't NEED saving from him, but eventually he gives up as he realizes he can't stop thinking about him.

The confession doesn't go over well, though. Future Edd is distressed - perhaps disgusted even - at the idea that a version of his past self would love him, especially that way. He shoots down Edd immediately, telling him he's imagining things, to stop with this 'sick joke'. After every possible argument was made, he says the thing that finally shuts the conversation up.

For weeks, Future Edd is extremely distant and cold, and Edd doesn't really do much either. He considers leaving the F.E.N and perhaps returning to his original timeline-- that mess would be less painful to deal with than having to be ignored by the man he fell so hard for! But after a while, things change. Partially out of a sense of guilt, and perhaps by a little push from the OC themselves.

Ignoring Edd turns into asking him to help again, and pushing him away turns into letting him get away with more and more, to the point being hugged is a daily occurrence!

Edd even gets his own nickname eventually-- 'kitten' or 'kitty cat', stemming from the fact he often acts like a clingy cat. That, and he tries so hard to mirror everything Future Edd does he ends up calling him a copy cat sometimes. (The reason Edd has a mullet is because he literally grew it out, just like Future Edd!) // Meanwhile, Edd calls Future Edd 'old man' a lot; initially as an insult but it quickly turns into an endearing nickname to tease him with instead.

It's not long before, even though he'd often rather die than admit it at first, Future Edd ends up developing his own feelings back for Edd. Although they don't make it official for a LONG time, given how even post-"we ARE officially together" Future Edd is a constant flustered mess, they start being impossible to separate. They sleep together (with Edd helping soothe any and all nightmares Future Edd could have), they eat together, they're practically tied together. They've gone through literally everything possible together, and they both know. When Future Edd finally pushes his embarrassment aside and admits his own feelings to Edd, it's unforgettable for the both of them.