MKD

We tend to judge or discriminate anything we don't understand. Some where along the lines of meeting new people on the playground and meeting new people in our teen years and our 20's some of us have stopped using our manners. We listen to preconceived thoughts shared by others. Instead of holding our own truths and thoughts to ourselves. Why do it though? When the validation exists when you share a though with a person and they affirm your so called belief.

There is so much in life that we could cherish and appreciated if we only took the time to look deeper than what the surface permits us to see. The moment you realize you're such a tiny speck in the universe you can't help but feel somewhat - significant. There is one of you that exists in this world, a person with their very own make and DNA. And even as a tiny spec in the universe - there's so much to you. You're unique in your own way made up of your own stories, experiences and characteristics.

If at the end of the road all we have are our memories, experiences, and fond moments. Isn't it the just thing to do, to make every day a day worth remembering?

You might be a small being in the universe, but you have so many reasons to exist. Make yourself known to the world by fulfilling your purpose and your very reason for existing. What might that be? It's entirely up to you.

I find sharing goodness and being kind to anyone and everyone is enough to make me feel like I'm doing my part in this world. We all perish in the end, why not make each day fun, full of laughter, interesting and inspiring not only for yourself.... But for all?

Met up with an old friend today. She took me back to our innocent carefree teen days. Cliche to say, but it felt just like yesterday. Man, I miss those days with all my heart. Who knew we would be where we are now.

It was so refreshing to see her and to speak to her. I know we were telling stories but there was a glimmer of hope in the sentences we had strung this afternoon. It always felt that way with us. As if the pangs of life, the problems we had, and the air heads we encountered could never truly hurt us. Surreal and magical is what we were. In the detail we exchanged today, we traced back to where we were last together. Then traced back to each foot step we'd taken forward and backwards. We realized just how much of a distance we had each traveled. Together. Alone. A part.

The glory days were worth revisiting. She was always great at re-telling the stories. A keen eye for detail, an intricate way of understanding things, quoting people well, structuring everything. She made each memory like an adventure and as she spoke each memory came back to life in my mind. Like a picture book you'd be reading that suddenly popped up and came to life. I let the warmth of each memory fill me and I let it wash over me. For a few hours I allowed myself to become and feel alive the way I used to at eighteen. I was so much more free-spirited at eighteen.

The days we had hyped up to be the most amazing time of our lives were exactly that. They were incredible. Those two meaningful years were jam packed and exhilarating. We went through it all. Our first loves, our first taste of heartache, our first relationships, our first break ups, our first taste of the new world, new faces, the challenges, the drunk nights-- oh the drunk nights we spent together. They made us feel so carefree and liberated. The world was ours and together we could conquer anything and everything that came our way. We had filled our hearts with strong conviction for the future, an unspoken pact was made that summer, we had created a friendship bond we'd treasure for life. Come what may, I remember repeating in my mind the moment I received my license, my graduate certificate and every single day I left my house afterward.

I dared Life to give me its best shot. And sure enough Life did. I felt like I had seduced Life and won it's immortality. The brave girl who had a heart full of gold, an intellect that gave her sharp wit and a sharp tongue and a sense of adventure that seemed to attract anyone and everyone she had met. Like moths to a flame, I used to think to myself.

Hearing her tell these stories reminded me of how fearless I was back then. How fearless we all were. I smile as I type this because I remember that sense of wicked humor and the proud composure I had. I played Life like I was always going to win, the victor, the hero, the protagonist. And for a very long time I was always winning. The Law of Attraction was my best friend and I was his favorite human at the time.

Then came change, change that we would later learn would be the reasons for our stubbornness, our pride, and our self-doubt.

You never think it'll happen to you, until it does. And when it hit us, it hit us hard. The carefree and willing and liberating feeling of youth slowly left our systems. The hangovers that ended in days no longer had an impact on the cold and heart wrenching grief we encountered that Spring. Reality came, the lights were turned on, a siren was heard, the cops came by, the party was over.

I'll say it was. Sigh, I'll say it was. The seasons changed. The phone calls stopped. The friendships lingered and eventually evaporated, like they were never there. The disappointment kicked in. We learn in the end to trust no but ourselves. We learn to live without the people we thought we couldn't live without. We learn to find other people to make us smile. And we learn to accept yesterday is in the past and that is where those memories, those people, and those feelings should stay. The seasons certainly changed and when winter came it never left. We could all drive now. We could all buy our own liquor. We could all leave the house whenever we wanted. We could all speak to whomsoever we wanted to.

The freedom was all ours but I no longer felt victorious after each hurdle I'd overcome. Life lost its meaning for a little while. Friendship lost its meaning. Love lost its purpose. And self-actualization was no longer a fun journey to travel upon with your friends. It soon became a necessity - because somewhere along the summer fun, drunk nights, funerals and broken hearts, we got lost. We'd lost our friends, we lost each other, and we lost ourselves.

After the mind blowing 5 hour conversation we had today we parted ways and we went about our lives again.

I guess that's what life is like, you share a footpath for a little bit then take the next right instead of walking along the same path together. But then just because you turned right doesn't mean the paths you're both on won't align again someday. It was nice though, uplifting even, just to be able to reconnect and simply fill in the blanks together. Especially when it's with someone who knows you, understands you and was there for a significant part of your existence. I certainly feel a lot more grateful about life after seeing her. I went home thinking to myself, that first chapter was an incredible journey. The second was not as glorious but it was certainly full of lessons and experience..... And the rest... is still unwritten :)  

I always have a track list for the memories I have in my head. And these immediately came to mind as I was writing: