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Wild

This post was an adventure

The Spirit of the Subway

joe and cherry are in a committed relationship of 10 years because they played gay chicken in high school and neither wants to lose

Plant people see the “you wouldn’t download a fruit” and go “NOT ONLY WOULD I DOWNLOAD A FRUIT, I’D STEAL SIX MORE FRUITS AND GRAFT THEM TOGETHER INTO A MASSIVE FRANKENFRUIT AND WHEN THAT GOT BIG ENOUGH I’D MAKE ADDITIONAL COPIES AND FORCIBLY UPLOAD THEM TO PUBLIC PLACES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE HAD ACESS TO THESE FRUITS FREE OF CHARGE FOREVER” and that’s why botany is great.

I’ve seen garden perennials with little tags on them saying that “unauthorized propagation” is not allowed by some kind of intellectual property law.  So plant downloading is actually a thing people are concerned about.  The thing is, many perennial plants should be divided every few years for their own health, and then hey, you now have two plants!

I *literally* got assaulted by the Proven Winners Illegal Plant Snitch at my old job at the greenhouse/nursery so not only is Plant Downloading something corporate whackadoodles are concerned about, it’s an extremely cool crime we all should go commit.  Just make sure to check what’s invasive in your area so you don’t go around causing an Ecological Issue, which is an extremely unsexy crime that I will personally come to your house and fill all your shoes with cooked, day-old spaghetti for.