Life Without Risks

This is about my last day of work. At my last job. Not my last day ever....I’m not that close to retirement. :P

Well, this is the first job I’m leaving of my own accord. I had to stop being a barista because I was no longer a student at my college. And I got fired from my last job at the hotel because...well, if you were following me 3 years ago, it was absolutely horrible and I was going to walk out any minute then. But this job, I’m leaving because I made the decision to take the next step in my life.

And what is that step? I want to start working in an office environment. I want to start working with numbers and around computers. Computer Science (software programming) and Accounting are on the top of my life. So to start building my resume in that direction, I got my new job in Data Entry. But now we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Back to my last day at work.

I wasn’t anxious or sad Friday. I got a full night’s sleep and went into the day knowing it would be pretty simple. The menu was easy and I had my favorite student. I made sure to bring all the Goodbye cards I had written last night though I was concerned because I only wrote 5 or 6 of them. What if others got jealous I didn’t write them one? Well, maybe they should‘ve been a better/more important part of my life? I was working at the University as a Cook for 3 years (to give any new readers some context). 

Well, I came in and got straight to work. Same ol’ work day. About 90 minutes into the day, the second set of people came in and that’s when I decided to give Kendra her present. She’s the only one I got a present because...well I had got it for her for Christmas but since I won’t be at the job around the Christmas season, I figured I‘d give it to her today. It was a DVD holder that could hold 50 DVD’s and had a little selector and menu so you could pick and choose what you wanted to see. It was absolutely perfect for her as she has more than 300 DVD’s without cases. Her mind was blown as she was figuring out how to use it and she was ecstatic. She ran all around the kitchen telling all her friends and I was so joyful watching her eyes glow. I almost cried. I can’t think of another time or another present I’ve ever given someone that was just so perfect, and I don't think I can think of a future gift to top it. She’s at home now playing with it in front of her husband organizing her collection and planning to buy more to fit the rest.

30 minutes after that, in comes my favorite student. We had a grand ‘ol time just talking and catching up. Even though we see each other multiple times a week, we still had so much to talk about in between getting all the food ready. When it was time for her to leave, I almost cried again. Instead snuck over to the grill and made her one my bestest juiciest burgers, an ode to when we first met and I was the burger master. That hug was deep and long. She bought a cell phone that day just so we’d have a way to stay in touch. Just for me...

The rest of my day was pretty normal. A handful of people (customers) came in just to see me knowing it was my last day. I finally found a friend after 2-3 weeks of searching for her. We hugged goodbye and exchanged emails. I think we’ll get coffee this upcoming weekend. Another woman who’s name I don‘t exactly know, came multiple times just to say goodbye before she had to go teach a class. I was on break but someone came back to grab me so I could give her one last hug. She asked me if I like oranges, and she had gotten me an orange flavored pastry. Little does she know I get Orange White Mochas regularly. :) 

Fast forward to the last hour when everyone gathers to say goodbye. One of the managers give a final farewell speech. I accidentally interrupted and asked that my favorite manager give it instead. Whoops *innocent eye roll*. I definitely made a [funny] scene of it taking off my apron dramatically and throwing it across the room onto the floor. Everyone cheered :D

Finally I clocked out and hung out with another favorite student for a half hour just talking and catching up while she was serving. A little unorthodox but that’s my life is it not? I went up stairs to give one final goodbye to that same manager. Then I went to my locker to clean it out and came across a single scrap of paper. It said “Good Morning Jayde  --Friend”

So I went back to that “friend” who was still working. I stood in her doorway holding up her sign. And that’s when I started crying. It was...something about it. Ever since I told her I was leaving and going to Florida, she had jokingly been giving the cold shoulder. She would walk past me and ignore me all the time. And it had gotten worse over that last week. It reminded me of my friendship/love that painfully fell apart with Victoria. The one with no goodbye, no words, no reason. Just...fell apart. This friendship standing in front of me was so close to that. But there we stood, both exposed to the last moment. The last goodbye. Nothing to hide behind. Nowhere to run. But she spoke. We said goodbye. With real words. And a real hug. And I walked out renewed.

I don’t know what the future holds. I don‘t know what the next 6 months will be like. I know it will be rough. I mean, I won’t have money for the next month. And I have this very strong feeling that something is going to go awry that may push my agenda faster than is currently planned... 

But I’ll be ready. This is a necessary step. For me. For my future. For my happiness. I’m not stagnant anymore. I’ve opened the window, and maybe the air pressure will open the door too. Is that how that works? We’ll find out I guess. 

This is my no spoiler review of Lights Out.

I went to see it on $5 Tuesday and it was worth it. Worth the full $12 ticket price? Probably not, but I don’t think too many are worth that price nowadays. You pay the full price for the theatre experience. The huge screen, large audience, get off the couch, go with friends experience. On to the review.

Stupid choices: (4/10) every scary movie is chock full of them, but when do they pop up, and how blatantly stupid are the characters when they make these choices. Keep in mind, we as the audience see everything from a third person view and we’re well aware that this is a scary movie so anything they do can lead to trauma and death. This movie gets a 4/10 (with 1 being the best) because there weren’t too many stupid moments. The characters almost immediately understood the strengths and weaknesses of their adversary and adjusted accordingly. Not too many times did they decide to split up and search for clues.

Pop-out Scary: (7/10) This is no Conjuring, and as a scary movie lover, you can listen to the background and tell when things are about to pop up. But they still get at you. Again, this movie didn’t have too much pop ups, but what they did have was pretty good. And it’s not always about the initial scare. Sometimes it’s about what the fully manifested spirit can do physically and how scary that is. There were a few moments like that.

Suspense: (4/10) The suspense was pretty low. It started creeping up near the end but the characters were being somewhat smart (refer to stupid choices).

Plot: (3/10) I mean, the plot is by definition the premise of every other scary movie. When the lights are out, the monsters come. Stay in the light. Duh. The backstory though, made sense and seemed completely plausible.

Overall: (6/10) It’s worth a see, but it’s not something to go out of your way for. $5 movie day, or $2 theatre seems about right. Wait for it to be on Netflix or On Demand. You’re still not missing much. But it’s only August. Scary movie season is just beginning. The ending made sense and a bit sad. But the final climax was pretty short. About 5-8 minutes long.

I started a new format of crafting. Well two actually. I started doing beading which is twice as fast as cross stitching, maybe even 3x as fast, but still a long and tedious process (picking up 5mm size beads). And then I started doing perlers! They are so fun and they have a very distinct look to them. At least when you melt them all the way.

So I started by buying some blank boards (2 per pack and the all interconnect for however many you need). I also bought a 11,000 bead jar. That was a stupid decision as it appears to be extremely hard to pick out the colors you need. In hindsight research, I found that no one buys the mixed  jars and just get individual colors. Oh well. That’ll be back up. I started by making a Charizard at first.

Oh, just to let you guys know, perlers are those beads that we did as little kids where we put a piece of paper on it and melt them together with an iron. Anyways, I did a little bit of research online on how to iron it. Turns out, to get a better quality piece, you need to add like 3 extra steps. You have to tape your design together, take it OFF of the pegboard, then poke holes in the tape (to let the hot air escape), and then you iron it! And the ironing can easily take an hour. Not the 10 seconds that’s in the instructions. Cool. So I did charizard. One side came out perfect minus the hair that got stuck in there (grr). The other side, a bit over melted. But that’s okay. I only wanted the first side anyways. That was the size of one board on my first project.

My second project, I decided to upgrade to 6 boards! I know. Huge difference. I probably should’ve did a few more smaller ones to practice, but I’m impatient. This one is a Mega Mewtwo Y. It took me a few days to complete. Had to go to the store and buy more boards and individual colors. Then on to the ironing. I wanted to try not melting the beads as much. It started out okay, but I can only see the back side when I’m ironing. The front side is covered in tape remember? So I looked at the back and I didn’t fully liked what I saw. It was just kinda melty, but there were still holes everywhere. Like it looked like beads fused together (probably what it’s supposed to look like for little kids), but for the adult characters I’m making, I wanted them to be fully fused as blocks, so I decided to keep going. Two different feels these methods make and I wanted the latter. So I kept ironing. Like I said earlier, it took an hour doing the head, the feet, the arms, the tail. I found a couple beads that I missed the wholes in and they wouldn’t close (had to scramble and poke holes to let the air out). One bead, I just couldn’t fuse at all. It was way too late. 

I got to the final extremity, the tail. I’m on the home stretch and I decided to use that time to text my friends and reconnect with them since I hadn’t spoken to them in an hour. Bad mistake. Very bad mistake. I over ironed the tail! The project was going so perfect! Like a solid 8.5 out of 10. Very good for my second attempt! And then, the tail got over ironed, the beads started blurring together in non-uniform lines and...

now I’m really upset. I tried really hard and it’s all my fault that it didn’t come out perfect. I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much, but I suddenly feel like I suck at this. I’ve already invested over $50 into this new art form (Boards + beads + storage) and I can’t even get it to an appropriate level where I feel like I can sell it to someone (PS, I want to start selling these and doing custom ones!). Yeah. It’s upsetting. I’ll post a picture of it later, but right now it’s flattening and cooling down.