Once upon an episode...

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

 Guys, I heard children outside in the backyard of my school, and i’m on the fifth floor, but right above the playground, so I threw a paper airplane with a little message on it to them, and then they got excited so I threw another one, and then I threw another, and then another, and then they started making requests like “tell us a story” and I wrote a little thing about me throwing airplanes out the window or “draw us a picture of yourself” and i drew a picture that didn’t look too great but they thought it was fun and they’d expectantly wait and I’d throw another and they’d be screaming and chasing it and trying to figure out who i am and stuff and after twenty minutes, and, like, forty airplanes i sent one that said “do you wanna see me” and they were excited and started chanting so i threw one that said “countdown” and they counted down from ten and then i actually poked my head out the window because they still hadn’t seen me yet and i had a handful of, like, twenty paper airplanes with me and i threw them all one at a time as they tried to catch them like a giant ticket blaster at chuckie cheese, and the look of pure delight and joy on those kids’ faces was worth all that time and paper.

This is still my biggest accomplishment and the greatest moment of my life.

Chekhov, holding a smoking pistol in act 1: I-I'm sorry this... this never happens I- it usually last much longer than this

wikipe-tan bashfully acquiescing into doing more and more embarrassing kinks in the name of academic thoroughness

“You… you need a p-public domain image for bimbofication?” and so on and so forth

It's always disappointing when a series makes a big deal about societal and structural problems in it's setting, making readers think it has interesting things to say about the subject, only to then resolve the problems by fighting The CEO of Racism, John Racist, so that all of society's problems would then get better because they promoted a new CEO.

who tf is looking at the foam

WHY IS THE SUN GOING DOWN.

(answering the phone) yes? (pause) right. okay. (pause) I see. (deadpanning the camera) we have to find māui. we have to get māui to beat up the sun again we have to slow that fucker right down

5pm sunset is a fucking injustice

we have to do something about this

not to be a pedantic hater but i wish tumblr accent wasn't the commonly used term to describe tumblrina typing quirks and phrases bc that is Not an accent it's a dialect!!

what's the difference here?

"The idea made me horny" is a good enough reason to write anything.

"B-But what if it's wrong to be horny for it, and everyone thinks I'm weird for liking it?" It's fanfiction. We're all weird, go write it. You'll just find your fellow freaks.

can you hear the lambs clarice??

People who insist tumblr must be 90% LGBT because their self-curated dash is have never gotten a weird comment on a post and went to check the person's blog and discovered an entire deep subculture of christian and tradwife users reblogging anti-abortion quotes and transphobia between each other. I promise you they're on here.

this is just what it's like being on a platform that doesn't necessarily push inflammatory people and things toward you on purpose

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

*pointing to your political protégé* you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?