in another universe i’m making breakfast in our kitchen. you hug me from behind. we dance a little and the sunlight washes over you. i’m finally happy.

in another universe i wasn’t so emotional. i learned how to have a secure attachment. i was never worried about being lost, because you made me feel kept.

one thing about me is i can excuse basically any crime if you serve enough cunt. murder, piracy, arson, cannibalism, theft, all of that is ok for me if you’re real sexy about it. i have a purely vibes-based morality system

Tumblr banned the words alpha and beta but NOT omega! This is an omega safe website 😇 go build your nest king

The aesthetic of the ironborn is simultaneously both "9th century Nordic Age of Expansion" with furs, zoomorphic knotwork, longships, and paganism, and "early 18th century Golden Age of Sail" with billowy blouses, gold earrings, hard drinking, shanties, and reactions to colonialism and it's so funny to me to watch these two completely disparate periods of history attempt to coexist in these fantasy trash pirates.

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing