wtf the fuck

when i was in grade 5 some kid told me the song “wake me up when september ends” was about 9/11 and i believed him until like three years ago

i cried so hard when we watched the lion king in first grade that my teacher called my parents and sent me home early

in high school i was questioned by the principal over drug use because i accidentally left my notebook in the bathroom and a teacher opened it to a drawing of an anime character saying “all i want for christmas is weed” but really i was a repressed nerd and never smoked a weed in my life

i made a joke about anal fissures in front of my extremely religious roommate and i thought she was gonna yell at me but instead she asked what an anal fissure was

i thought hatsune miku was a real person 

cats are so dumb lol they eat shitty brown pellets like lol have u ever had a cheeseburger

yo why jon thick as hell

We aint gonna talk about the stroke I just had reading this?

this kid tried to sell me a newspaper . hes got a flat cap with burn marks on it. he watches other kids at the candy store and cries bc he dropped his only tuppence into the storm drain