There is no doubt that Zuko, Azula, and Katara, are three of the most complex characters in the whole series. All are informed by fierce dualities the way Sokka, Toph, and Aang in particular are. Katara is both the rage and gentleness of water, Zuko the concepts of shame and honour embroiled in turmoil, and Azula is madness and greatness (the flip of a coin, as one says). 

Over the years, the relationship between Zuko, Katara, and Azula, both from a character standpoint and from a narrative standpoint, has been both extremely clear cut and fascinating — largely because I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen someone else think this way. This is no doubt because tumblr is a Zutara heavy space, whereas Kataang fans tend to be more casual and less likely to see out fan-ATLA spaces (they have less reason to, after all; they got everything they wanted). But I think it’s an unfortunate oversight, because when you look at Zuko, and these two prodigious benders beside him, it becomes quite clear that Zuko’s story is a tale of two sisters, one through blood and one through choice, and it really is a beautiful, breathtaking piece of storytelling.

And before you write me off as just not liking Zutara (although it’s true, I don’t) I want to make clear I am writing from an objective and narrative standpoint. This isn’t about shipping, or who wrote what, or any fandom or Ehasz conspiracies. This is just what I think ATLA managed to beautifully pull off with a platonic Zutara dynamic, and why I love it as much as I do. And if you’d like a new, possibly refreshing look at ATLA, then I encourage you to read on.

With all that in mind, let’s get a few terms out of the way.

The first is what I’m going to call a Core Wound, or a ghost. This video by the Youtube channel JustWrite goes into greater detail about what a ghost or Core Wound is for Zuko and Aang, but I’ll also explain it down below as it pertains, specifically, to Azula and Katara anyway. 

A Core Wound is the Psychological underpinning of a character. It can be a trauma that drives them, a singular relationship or desire or emotion, or all four. It informs the most of their arc and is the biggest aspect of their arc that needs resolution. 

To differentiate between this and a secondary traumatic event, Zuko losing his mother hurts him, yes, but there’s a reason his confrontation with his father in Day of Black Sun is something we’d riot without, and not getting to know exactly what happened to his mother is something we can live with. Zuko’s Core Wound is his relationship with his father. His secondary wounds are his mother, Azula, and repairing his relationship with Uncle Iroh, but there’s a reason that Zuko stands up to his father without having made up with Iroh, because his father is the ghost that must be tackled, regardless of anything else. His father is the wound that must be healed (both literally and figuratively mirroring Zuko’s scar, but that’s a post for another day).

Katara’s Core Wound is the loss of and her relationship with her mother. 

And so is Azula’s.

ooh boi, um, long answer under the cut cause i don’t want it to be all be in the tags

Zuko’s actions in the scene above do have to be understood in relation to his past actions towards Katara, and beyond that as stand-ins for the relationship between his entire nation and at least a large portion of hers. Part of what makes this so powerful is that it works on both those individual and representative levels. I think what also needs to be considered though is how Zuko’s behavior in that scene contrasts with not just his past self but also Azula in that moment. She targeted Katara who was outside of the Agni Kai - deciding to increase the threat of violence to others - the exact opposite of the reasoning Zuko gave for accepting her challenge of an Agni Kai. She glances at Zuko, then Katara, and decides to fire at her. Part of why Zuko damages himself is because he deflects haltingly, first aiming the lightening back at Azula, then shooting it into the sky above the arena.

Not sure there’s a parrallel yet? Well, what does Azula do next? She follows Katara and there’s this bit of dialgoue:

Sound familiar?

(Credit for those gifs goes to here).

What we’re seeing there isn’t just the repeated and angry spitting out of “peasant” but a broader aspect of the worldbuilding for Avatar: the Last Airbender that might even be one of the most overlooked aspects of that entire universe. It cuts right to the core of the colonial, monarchic, despotic line of thought that motivates the upper classes in the Fire Nation. Ignoring the ways in which that’s being referenced in that scene is the same reason it’s much harder to find a gif of the scene where Azula condescendingly explains to Long Feng that “true power - the divine right to rule - is something you’re born with” and even harder to find one mindfully made to be critical of what she’s saying.

It is canonically implied that both deal with emotional and mental trauma in very different ways. Zuko seems like a clear case of having of PTSD and Mai is a depressed character. It’s not easy and would never be an easy and smooth relationship.

Still there’s something nice and admirable of seeing these two coming together to find some calm and peace. There’s a safe space.

And for someone like Mai it can’t always be easy to talk to Zuko who speaks in codes, uses emotion-based language, who broods and even blows up in front of her. And Mai isn’t easy either. She shuts down, speaks in short and frank sentences and has a general bleak worldview. But through it all, they are so much more. They both strive to be better for themselves and each other.

And then some say ”She thinks ordering servants around is helping Zuko. She doesn’t care about his feelings.”

Well, if I remember the episode correctly it was Zuko who wooed her by first ordering servants a ridiculous thing such as a whole plate of fruit tarts with rose petals on top just to impress her because he is a Prince and has that power to do so. So, speaking of the war meeting she calls ”just a dumb war meeting” (possibly paraphrasing) she is saying that Zuko is above and beyond those people at the meetings and yes, she does mention the last time Zuko went to a war meeting and what had happened and Zuko displayed his goodness towards his nation and genuine act of loyality to his people. A trait in him that Mai admires and thus he is much better than anyone who attends those dumb war meetings. Still, it means so much to him that when it happens and he is called to the meeting, he shows that he is happy and Mai is happy for him too! She wants what will make Zuko happy and that is something people clearly miss out. And if her calming him down with a touch or a kiss, she will give him his time and she hates seeing him turmoil but what else can she do?

No idea why this fandom thinks Zuko was a woke anti-capitalist revolutionary only acting bougie because it turns Mai on. Even after his experience living among EK peasants, he clearly despised lower and even middle class living, as evidenced by his resentment of living in a small apartment/running a tea shop in Ba Sing Se. And it makes sense that both him and Mai have this superior attitude because they are part of a global elite *and* are teenagers. It would be really odd writing if they didn’t act like this.

(In honor of Maiko Fluff Week 2019 and the Tranquility prompt!)

Zuko pulls all-nighters until the servants tattle to Mai and she forces him to stick to a semi-regular sleep schedule

Mai always does Zuko’s hair for him in the mornings

At first, the nobles gossip up a storm when they notice that when Mai stays overnight in the palace, she stays in the Firelord’s chambers. Zuko is enraged by the rumors but Mai doesn’t seem to care as long as she gets to keep sleeping there (although secretly she LOVES causing a social scandal, life is so boring otherwise). 

Zuko is a cuddler, which makes Mai feel claustrophobic at first but after thinking about how much she missed him when he left the FN, she realizes it’s kind of comforting to feel him there with her. Eventually they figure out that Mai being the big spoon definitely works the best for both of them 

Mai always found life as a governor’s daughter boring because she didn’t have anything to do all day. As a Fire Lady, however, life is suddenly fascinating. Every day she learns about new places and cultures, their histories and people, and of course all of the problems the war created. Diplomacy is a particularly interesting challenge, especially once the officials of Omashu and Ba Sing Se find out that she is the Fire Lord’s chosen bride. For the first time, she has power & influence–and oddly enough, she finds she wants to use it to help others. Maybe she’s been hanging out with Aang too much. Regardless of the reason for the change, her and Zuko’s shared vision make them an excellent team

Fire Ladies don’t usually take part in official meetings, but Zuko flat out refuses to bar Mai from them. Sometimes she doesn’t want to go but for the most part she makes the effort to attend, especially since Katara and Toph often accompany Aang as well. As a united front, the three girls are basically unstoppable. Also, whenever Zuko gets too heated during debates, all it takes is Mai’s hand on his arm to calm him down

Mai is pretty stealthy, so people often forget that she’s in the room. It’s incredibly helpful when generals who don’t take Zuko seriously complain to each other without realizing she can hear their every word and use it to destroy them during meetings later

now, zuko didn’t have to have a love interest. technically no character did! but i do think it was smart to tie zuko to the three fire nation girls in ways other than just him being azula’s brother. having mai as his girlfriend also expands her character as well as each of their dynamics with azula and even mai and ty lee to a degree. as well as mai and zuko having such different personalities and that they reveal different sides to each other and of each other. rather than inventing someone new for zuko to care about, they take a pre-established character and create a relationship that deepens both of their characters. it’s smart economic storytelling. 

however, what mai i think does for zuko’s arc is she gives him a positive tie to the fire nation. the reason why he couldn’t join the gaang at the end of season two was because, on a character level, he was still clinging to everything he thought that he wanted now that it was suddenly back within his grasp. however on a narrative level zuko couldn’t join the gaang because it wouldn’t have been a sacrifice. he would’ve been joining the gaang at the moment it was most convenient for him too. he’d freed appa, found living as a refugee in the city ultimately dissatisfying, katara was even going to heal his scar! he had everything to gain and nothing to lose other than a worldview that was ultimately harmful to him - which was a sacrifice again, on a character level, but a triumphant turn on a narrative level. 

when zuko goes back to the fire nation, we know it’s the wrong move for him, but he doesn’t. by being there, zuko realizes that everything he thought he wanted from his father/family/position has rung hollow. he still desperately needs a disgraced iroh in his life. azula is back to playing games and his mother is still gone. zuko’s place in his father’s good graces feel shaky even without knowing that the avatar may be alive - and his decision to not bring forth his suspicions is very similar to why he donned the blue spirit mask in s1: he still cares more about maintaining his own gains and what the avatar means for him than what’s actually “the best” for his nation. he’s still wearing a mask but he doesn’t know it yet.

zuko then realizes he’s forgotten his mother’s last words - “no matter how things change, never forget who you are” - and mai is his sole confidant: “i was the perfect prince, the son my father wanted. but i wasn’t me.” 

zuko also realizes that the war isn’t what’s best for his nation or for the world: “And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.” he takes off his mask. 

which like, okay, amazing speech and satisfying character turning point, absolutely. now he’s caught up to where the audience has been, that being a prince in his current family dynamic is toxic and that their imperialist views are wrong. now when he could have had everything he wanted in his family, he chooses to give it up. that’s the character sacrifice and narrative triumph. but what’s the narrative sacrifice for someone who is ultimately making all the right decisions?

Sokka: I think your uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us? That's hard. Zuko: It wasn't that hard. Sokka: Really? You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about? Zuko: Well, I did have a girlfriend. Mai. Sokka: That gloomy girl who sighs a lot? Zuko: Yeah. Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it. 

A happy life with Mai is one of the things Zuko thinks he’s sacrificing. That’s the person he cares about. That’s the one solid thing he’s giving up when he leaves to oin the Gaang. The fact that they end up happily together with him as Firelord, both of them free from the coils of his father’s abuse, is the narrative reward for both of them choosing peace and love over power, prestige. and fear. Mai is proof even to Zuko that the Fire Nation is worth saving and worth loving and that not everyone is like his family, that someone is also willing to choose him and love him selflessly. That his nation, like himself, is worthy of redemption and restoration. 

And first of all, remembet that Mai grew up in an environment where she wasn’t allowed to show her feelings, she had to be perfect and content and happy with everything. When we first see her in Omashu, she is unhappy with their new home and her mother’s only reaction to that is: “Be happy and enjoy it.” All while it’s clear thar Mai is not the kind of person who enjoys constant smiling and insincere emotions. She only shows emotions when she feels them to be true and she only talks when she knows her words are going to be sincere.

Keeping this in mind, let’s look at the episode Nightmares and Daydreams.

Mai KNOWS Zuko is unhappy and she tries to do everything in her power to change that, but she’s not the kind of person who will tell jokes like Iroh, and she doesn’t know the reason behind Zuko’s anxiety and sadness. She tries very hard to not be like her parents. She tries not to shut Zuko and his feelings down.

Zuko comes back from Azula furious and Mai already feels guilty because she was the one who caused this, she should have kept her mouth shut. This is in accordance with how she was raised: behave, don’t speak, don’t feel.

She tries to joke about ordering servants around but it’s futile. Then she resorts to touching Zuko’s cheek and making him face her.

And when neither of this works - she falls apart.

She looks like she’s about to cry and extremely, unspeakably worried for Zuko.

Why?

Because Mai couldn’t learn how to comfort people from her family.

Mai could only learn that from other people.

Mai could only learn that from her friends: he bubbly, tiny acrobat who uses hugs as one uses commas - and the self-entitled prodigy who is oh so sure that everyone in the world is her subordinate.

Of course her only two attempts are gonna be her friends’ ways of comforting others. Azula and Ty Lee. Ordering people around and physical touch.

And of course she will be completely helpless when these fail.

So look at what she does next:

I only catched this on my 341st rewatch. Mai serves Zuko tea. Not the servants. Mai pours the tea and is about to hand it to Zuko, and we have seen how important this is through the series: Iroh always pours tea for others: Zuko, Toph, in the teahouse, the man who tries to mug him. At the refugee camp, the server pours the (cold) tea, at the Beifongs’, likewise. And it must be the same at the fire palace, where servants jump Zuko every millisecond to wash his feet, give him fresh fruit, etc.

Pouring tea for someone else is serving the other. Humbling yourself and offering yourself. Iroh impersonates this beautifully, and this is also the message Iroh wants Zuko to take home so desperately: that serving other is not shameful, but an offering.

And Mai does exactly this. A huge step for a spoiled only child, but she takes it, because she has failed to comfort Zuko and she doesn’t want to give up on it.

And then, the messanger comes to tell Zuko he is expected at the war meeting.

Look at that smile, that reassuring and relieved look that finally, the problem is solved and Zuko can get what will make him happy, even though Mai just called the war meeting stupid and boring.

Abd then she goes and waits for him right at the door.

She becomes so happy for him when he says the meeting went well and you can tell Mai was just as scared as Zuko that something as bad as “the last time” will happen to him and it didn’t and now she’s so happy, she goes straight in for touching his shoulder with a smile and affirmative words.

And yet Zuko is still unhappy.

And here comes the biggest part of Mai’s development and growth through the story.

She doesn’t say anything.

She takes her hands off of Zuko’s shoulder.

She just stands there.

Because Mai realized that Zuko, right there and then, doesn’t want the things she failed give to him. Zuko doesn’t need Azula’s cruel jokes or Ty Lee’s hugs.

What Zuko needed was the exact thing Mai felt was the most imprtant thing in her life: sincerity. Something nobody expected from her before. Something nobody ever gave her.

And sure enough it doesn’t work for long, because reality is there, and its problems intrude quite rudely, often literally, personified by Azula, but their happy bubble is real, too.

I don’t know - I just always found that moment to be super cute and sweet.