welcome to angst central

The suit was dark and the lights on it glowed an ominous purple. Everyone wore one, even Hunk. Apparently, like the Paladin armour, the suit contorted to fit its wearer. The fit, of course, was uncomfortably snug to say the least.

Lance stared down at his hands, dark because of the gloves, and he flexed his fingers as if testing them out.

“Why are we doing this again?” Pidge piped up from beside Lance while she secured her bayard to the hip of the Marmoran suit “And why doesn’t Keith have to do it?”

From beside the other Marmorans, Keith, all dressed up, smirked at Pidge. The small girl simply stuck her tongue out in retaliation.

“It’s to test your mental capabilities.” Kolivan ignored Pidge and Keith as he smoothly replied, not even moving from his stiff stance “The Red Paladin has already went through the trials.”

“Your trials, of course, will be less strenuous but the Princess has given me permission to train all of you.” He added “And train you I will.”

Lance wanted to complain but instead kept his mouth shut and frowned. Though he was anxious about it, he knew that this would only benefit them. There was no harm in trying it out.

He also couldn’t stop shifting, testing the stretch of this Marmoran suit. It seemed durable enough and he could easily move in it which was good. The moving seemed to help with the worrying too.

“W-Wait… And what did you say was going to happen?” It’s Hunk’s turn to ask a question. The poor guy looked pretty nervous, something that Lance couldn’t fault him for.

Lance was pretty nervous too.

“One by one, you will be placed in the arena. If nothing happens, we will be sending Blades to fight you.” This time, it isn’t Kolivan that answered but Antok “More often than not, something does happen.”

Before anyone could ask, Kolivan finished for Antok “The suit will show you your biggest hopes and fears.”

Lance wondered what his fear would manifest as. His first thought was that it would be a clone of him. That didn’t seem too scary, however, so his mind wandered. Eventually, he was faced with the horrifying thought that it might turn into the other Paladins.

That most definitely would not be a conversation he wanted to have with any of them.

“So… hopes?” Pidge looked confused but she had a point. Fears, they understood. Fears revealed the rawest part of a person, showed people their weaknesses and their flaws.

To Lance, hope was bright and good. Hope was what kept someone fighting.

Either way, Kolivan raised an eyebrow at the question. Like all the others, he answered it nonetheless “Sometimes a soldier’s hope is much more terrifying than his fears.”

Well, that was ominous.

Then again, from what Shiro told them, Keith’s hope and fear ended up being essentially the same thing. Keith, all beaten up and bloody, hoped for Shiro and feared Shiro. That was why the suit showed Shiro, offering a hand but telling him to give up.

Lance supposed that was believable because Keith didn’t know that the suit had the ability to make holograms appear. Lance was sure that, if it came down to him, he’d be able to deduce what was a fake and what wasn’t.

There he stood, all purple skin and handsome smirk. His hair wasn’t tied up like when they had seen each other last but there was no doubt about who was standing there.

“Lotor.” The whisper hurt and there was a tone of fear there as Lance took a step back.

Lotor’s lips only stretched wider, smirk turning more devious “Ah, my blue eyed beauty.”

“Don’t call me that.” Lance’s voice is sharp but his movements are sloppy. Suddenly, his bayard felt heavy, like lead, and his stance was unstable. There was something uncomfortable in his chest, something that made it harder to breathe.

If he was reacting like this, Lance couldn’t even imagine how everyone else was taking it. He briefly wondered if they think Lotor is his greatest fear. Lance didn’t think that was wrong but there was a part of him that said so. Or, at least, hinted that fear was not the entire story.

“Do they still call you Voltron’s sharpshooter?” Lotor’s eyes bore into Lance, making the poor Paladin take another step back.

Lance tried not to let it get to him, tried to raise his bayard to fire “How about I show you, asshole?”

A silence then proceeded to stretch out between them.

This was the fake Lotor, not the real one. This one was made of pixels and light, generated by a stupid suit that dug into Lance’s brain. Despite knowing this, Lance still couldn’t help but think that this Lotor looked just as ethereal, just as smug, as the real one.

This Lotor also looked just as calm and composed. Lance, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. His eyes kept flickering from spot to spot on Lotor’s face, his grip on his blaster is tight. Hell, it felt like his entire body was shaking.

“Why don’t you show me?” Lotor’s voice was aloof as he took a step forward, his armour thumping against the tip of Lance’s bayard. The gun was pointed to Lotor’s chest, right above where Lance assumed his heart was.

If he even had one.

Lance knew that this was the opportune moment to strike. He knew that, if he pulled the trigger then, it would show him that this Lotor was fake. The shot would simply go through and the hologram would crackle and disappear.

He knew this and, yet, Lance hesitated.

Lotor’s smirk turned predatory “Oh, what’s the matter? Are you all talk, my sharpshooter?”

“Don’t call me your sharpshooter.” Lance tried to sound as hostile as he could but his voice wavered and cracked “I’m not your anything.”

“Ah, now I understand.” Lotor’s hand came up, cupping Lance’s cheek “Why do you do this to yourself?”

Lance flinched away from the touch, eyes wide as he felt the warmth of Lotor’s palm. How advanced were the Marmorans? How could they make Lotor feel so real?

This was not the real Lotor. This was a hologram, just particles of light manipulated by a machine to reflect the terrible fears in Lance’s brain. Lotor wasn’t standing in front of him. Lotor, the real Lotor, was on the other side of the Galaxy.

“Why do you deny yourself your greatest hope?”

This time, Lance felt numb and his body moved on its own, thrusting his bayard forward and pushing Lotor back “What the hell are you talking about??”

Lotor’s laugh was chilling and it sent a spark down Lance’s spine. The prince simply brushed off the part of his armour that came in contact with the tip of Lance’s bayard, acting as if there was dirt to be swept off.

“Aren’t I right? Doesn’t your reaction prove that?” Lotor continued to taunt, not at all dissuaded by Lance’s willingness to whack him with the blue bayard.

Though, it did make Lance think. Was Lotor his greatest hope? The thought was laughable at most. How could Lotor of all people be Lance’s hope? If anything, Lotor was more likely to be Lance’s greatest fear than his greatest hope.

Lotor seemed to catch on “Now you’re wondering how I could possibly be your hope, isn’t that right?”

“You know I’m wondering that because you’re not real.” Lance quickly countered, a sharp edge to his voice that didn’t match how withdrawn his posture looked.

“I know you’re wondering that because you told me.” Lotor’s smirk finally fell, making way to a disappointed expression. It twisted at something inside of Lance’s chest but he didn’t exactly know what it was.

“I have never told you anything.” Lance is tense as if he was being strung up tighter and tighter. He looked like he was about to break apart.

Lotor’s eyes were kind when he took a step forward “Lance—”

“Shut up!” Lance finally snapped and his voice echoed throughout the Marmoran arena.

Like a puppet suddenly cut lose, Lance fell to his knees, bayard falling beside him. Both of them made a resounding thump.

Then, after that, there’s only silence.

Lance wiped at his eyes, scared that he would seem weak to his teammates that watched him from the control room. He glanced up and Lotor was gone.

Had Lance pulled the trigger without realising it? Did someone stop the simulation to give him a rest or to tell him how traitorous he was?

All of these thoughts about all of these possibilities zoomed through his head, one after the other. Though the arena was quiet and still, Lance’s head buzzed almost painfully.

That was it, wasn’t it? Team Voltron was now assuming the worst of him and they were going to kick him out of Voltron. All because of a stupid hologram.

“What was that?” It was Keith’s voice and Lance looked up just in time for Keith to stop right in front of him.

The rest of the team followed behind Keith, all looking a mix between apprehensive and betrayed. Hunk fiddled with his fingers, one of his nervous traits. Pidge, on the other hand, looked almost as angry as Keith.

The expression that made Lance’s heart really fall was Shiro’s because his wasn’t like the others. Rather than uneasy or irritated, the black paladin looked utterly disappointed.

“I-I—” Lance, the one who usually had a lot to say, could not find the words he wanted to use. His head was still in jumbles and he was hurriedly trying to compose himself, trying to gather himself up to stand and defend.

Pidge beat him to it “Save it.”

Hunk placed a hand on Pidge’s shoulder as if to placate her and Lance thought that maybe Hunk was on his side. Except, Hunk then turned to look at Lance “You… You know Lotor personally?”

Hunk was not on his side.

“Y-Yeah… I-I met him at a swap moon a long while back.” Lance’s voice wavered a little but he continued on “H-He… somehow knew I was the blue paladin and he… he asked for me to join him.”

“Did you accept?” Keith’s tone is accusatory and Lance felt a prick in his eyes at the thought.

He scrambled up, bayard forgotten on the ground, and his voice was strong “No! I could never betray you guys!”

“And yet he’s your greatest hope?” Keith seemed just as enraged as Lance and he grabbed Lance by the collar, yanking him down and making him almost choke.

God, at that moment, how Lance wanted to just choke and die.

After all, what was worse than your teammates, people you had grown to love as family, thinking you’ve broken their trust?

“No, no! He’s not, I promise!” Lance wanted to convince them so strongly that he willed himself to look as honest as he could look. He didn’t know how to do it but, damn, did he try.

His hands scrambled up to grip at Keith’s fist “Please, you have to trust me, mullet!”

“How could we trust you if you didn’t even tell us you met with Lotor?” This time, the voice is deep and Lance recognizes it as Shiro’s voice.

That was all it took. The tears started falling from his eyes. There was a lump in Lance’s throat that he couldn’t swallow down and it felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. The tears that gathered in his eyes clouded his vision but he could see that his teammates had no sympathy for him.

“I-It was… It was a-a moment of weakness… H-He…” Lance hiccupped, struggling both to wipe away his tears and to get Keith to let go of his collar “H-He promised me a place t-to belong.”

That was all Lance ever wanted, wasn’t it?

Ever since he was launched into space, he felt like the odd man out. Pidge and Hunk had bonded over their intelligence, Shiro and Keith knew each other the best, Coran and Allura were from the same species. Lance didn’t have his own person to match with.

Everyone always seemed to be so busy that there wasn’t any time for him.

Plus, Lance should understand. They were in a war. It should’ve been good enough that Lance was part of Voltron, that was where he belonged.

Except, even with that, he didn’t feel like he fit. After all, Allura said that Blue accepted paladins the easiest. He wasn’t wanted by his lion, not like Keith was wanted by Red. Lance knew Blue would never raise hell and fury to protect him like Red had for Keith.

So, if he could not fit into Team Voltron or into his role as paladin, where did he fit?

Lotor provided him a place to fit.

“I-I told him… How I-I hated being the blue paladin… H-How I-I…” Lance’s voice sounded wet from the grief he was pouring out and his voice cracked under the weight of his sadness “H-How I just w-wanted to be needed…”

“He said he needed me…” This time, Lance’s voice was steady but it was soft, almost like a whisper, like he didn’t want the paladins around him to know how amazing the offer had sounded to Lance.

If he wasn’t needed by Voltron, couldn’t he just go to Lotor? What was the harm in helping Lotor? The blue lion would soon find someone else, someone better, and they would defeat Zarkon without Lance.

The thought would’ve been laughable if it didn’t disgust him so much. How could Lance think that way? How could he suddenly hope for something he had once feared so much?

Once his hiccups and his sobbing died down, Lance managed to breathe a little bit. Keith’s grip on his collar was still tight but at least Keith hadn’t punched him yet.

“You disgust me.” There it was. The words Lance was waiting for. Keith’s voice was heavy with anger and maybe grief as if the friend he had found in Lance died.

This was what Lance had been so anxious about before they started this training. This was what Lance was so scared of.

At that thought, Lance’s eyes widened and he glanced up at the paladins around him. Suddenly, Lance’s foot flew up and landed squarely on Keith’s chest. With a strong kick, Keith fell and Lance was finally free of his grasp.

As Keith hit the ground, his body erupted into small sparks of light.

Lance’s blood turned cold and his palms turned sweaty. These weren’t the real paladins either. Like Lotor, they had been holograms made by the insecurities in his mind.

Without a second thought, Lance ran, past the doors of the arena, past the doors of this damned spaceship and into the doors of his lion.

“What if I c-can’t do it?”

Coran looked into Lance’s eyes and saw only blue.

It always amazed Coran how blue Lance’s eyes were. Sometimes, when Lance went swimming and Coran stayed guard, the blue of his eyes seemed to outshine the blue of the ocean. Hell, Coran would even go so far as to say that Lance’s eyes looked better than the ocean.

Right now, however, they were wet like the ocean too.

“What if I go and I can’t do it and I never see you or Allura or father again—” Lance was rambling now, hands moving around to match his words and his eyes are wide “What if I just fail, like I always do—”

Coran’s hands framed Lance’s tan face, cradling him “My boy, you will not fail.”

Lance blinked and the tears that gathered in his eyes slid down his already wet cheeks. His hands trembled but they steadied when he pressed them against Coran’s own.

“How do you know?” Lance sounded so small, so weak, and his voice was barely louder than a whisper as if he were frightened of the answer to his question.

Coran’s heart ached in his chest and the desire to cry almost washed over him. This boy in front of him, the one he helped raise, was going out there, past the reef, where dangers awaited him.

Part of Coran wanted to say no, to hold Lance against him and prevent him from going. Lance was a child. He’s barely lived 18 years! Now, he had to go save the world? How fair was that?

Thinking of the unjust situation, Coran couldn’t help but remember Allura and Alfor, two more people that he cared about. Alfor had been the best father and chief Coran had ever seen and Allura the greatest daughter.

They deserved only the best of things and the luckiest of fortunes and, yet, the two of them were in the hut at the centre of the village, Alfor slowly dying and Allura crying at his bedside.

The darkness was unfair.

“I know you won’t fail because you have been chosen.” One of Coran’s hands move from Lance’s cheek to cup the pouch hanging from his neck. The pouch glowed a comforting blue as if agreeing with what Coran was saying.

Coran then stared directly into Lance’s face, eyes stern and face all too serious “You take Lotor by the ear and you tell him that you are Lance, son of Alfor, and that he will take you to get the other stones or he will suffer the consequences.”

Lance cracked a smile “That sounds more like something Allura would say.”

“Quite.” Coran agreed but the smile he forced didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

Lance wiped away some of his tears “I love you.”

“I love you too, my boy.”

“Rover, this is hopeless.” Lance groaned out before flopping over, back pressed against the floor of his small boat.

Rover, a brightly coloured parrot, seemed to agree with a rather loud squawk.

It seemed the parrot also thought they weren’t making any progress at all. At least, that was what Lance was commenting on.

After all, they were in the middle of a giant ocean where all that Lance could see was more ocean! He didn’t even know where to begin or what direction to head in. They were never going to get anywhere at this rate. 

“I don’t understand.” Lance continued, rolling over so that his hand dipped into the ocean “If the ocean brought me the stone, why can’t it bring the stone to the Blue Lion?”

Another squawk of agreement from Rover. Though the squawk could’ve also been taken as the parrot voicing his concern for Lance who was speaking mostly to himself.

The boat suddenly lurched and Lance had to quickly roll away from the side of the boat to prevent himself from falling in.

Though he was relieved, Lance couldn’t help but frown “C’mon, ocean!”

“At this rate, we’ll never find this stupid Lotor!” Lance stood up but only to stomp his foot, scowl only deepening.

The boat rocked again but, this time, more violently. Rover squawked his protests, wings flapping as if ready to take off if the boat capsized. Lance, on the other hand, quickly hugged the mast of the boat, scared that, if he didn’t, he would slip and fall into the deep waters.

When the waters calmed, Lance returned to feeling rather angry and frustrated. Though he had agreed to go on this quest, Lance did not at all think he was the right person for the job.

My boy, you will not fail.

“So much for being chosen.” He grumbled “The ocean isn’t even helping me.”

Lance plopped himself back down, crossing his legs. He then took the pouch around his neck and held it, staring down at it as if it held all of the answers.

The stone inside the pouch glowed, faint but noticeable. It felt warm against Lance’s palm and a reassuring feeling washed over him.

Even if he felt as if he wasn’t the right person for the quest, he had no choice. He had to be the right person. There was no one else that could’ve gone in his place.

A sigh escaped him at that thought and he let the pouch fall back into place against his chest “I guess we don’t really have a choice anyway, huh, Rover?”

There was a squawk in response though if it was in complaint or agreement Lance did not know.

Instead of dwelling on it or on the insecure thoughts that would’ve slowly consumed him, Lance grabbed the rope that controlled the sail and pulled. The sail went slack but only for a second. The wind pulled the cloth taut again and the boat softly rushed forward.

Lance is the next chief of the island, Moto Nui (which is Moana’s island in the movie). His sister, Allura, wants him to take being the next chief seriously. Lance thinks the next chief should be her! He thinks he’s not suited for it. Not just that but the ocean keeps calling out to him. He prefers spending time on the beach or in the ocean than learning how to lead ‘his people’. That kind of stuff is Allura’s thing, not his.

Coran, the resident crazy man of the island and Lance’s uncle, agrees with Lance. Coran thinks Lance is more suited to sailing and venturing beyond the reef. In fact, most of the time, it’s Coran enabling Lance, telling him stories about islands beyond their own. The unfortunate thing is, however, there is no sailing past the reef. Moto Nui is a paradise and there’s no need to leave, ever. Plus, Lance can’t sail the oceans either way because he’s going to be the next chief of the island!

Well, none of that stops Lance from at least trying. He wants to see what’s beyond the reef, what else is past the horizon. He and his parrot friend, Rover, tries to leave Sadly, their boat capsizes and they’re sent almost drowning. After barely getting to shore, Lance swears off ever thinking of leaving. Instead, he’s going to throw away his life to please his family.

That’s what he planned to do until the fishes disappear from the island and the crops start drying up. Coran explains to Lance that it’s the darkness spreading. He then tells Lance about a legend. In the past, there were five Lion Gods. They maintained the world, making sure that everything was in balance. The Blue Lion took care of the seas, the Green Lion took care of the forests, the Yellow Lion took care of the mountains, the Red Lion took care of the volcanoes and the Black Lion took care of the skies. However, this even demigod, Lotor, stole the Lions’ source of power, their heart, also known as the Quintessence stones.

In fact, Coran has one of the Quintessence stones, the blue one. Apparently, when Lance was really young, the ocean brought him the stone. Of course, because Lance had a one track mind as a child, he accidentally left the stone on the beach. Thankfully, Coran was there to pick it up. Coran thinks Lance is the chosen one, the one destined to bring an end to the darkness.

At first, Lance refuses. Sadly, because of the darkness, Lance’s father, Alfor, is dying. The darkness just continues spreading, slowly consuming the island. Lance decides then that he doesn’t have a choice but to journey past the reef. His and Coran’s plan is to find Lotor, the demigod that stole the stones, and have him return them.

Lance packs a boat with the help of Coran. He brings his parrot friend with him and he begins his adventure hesitantly. Once Lance meets Lotor, the three unlikely heroes come together to find where the hell Lotor managed to lose the five stones (but also holy hell who loses five world-changing stones??). On their trip, they meet other people along the way and these people help them with their journey!

To further add to the AU, I was sort of concidering the other Paladins and how they applied to the AU? All I came up with is:

Shiro: Another kid chosen by the sky to return the black stone! He manages to get to Lotor about the same time as Lance does and joins their journey because he wants to help the extremely pretty stranger with beautiful blue eyes Lance

Keith: A demigod like Lotor who doesn’t really like other people much. He spends most of his time chilling inside a volcano, soaking in lava or something. He has two horns, a forked tongue, sharp claws and red eyes. Also, he spits lava which Lance thinks is both pretty cool and gross. Keith didn’t even know the red stone was on his island but reluctantly helps them because his island is also being affected.

Pidge and Matt: Two explorers with this super cool big boat. The two of them basically just travel the oceans, going from island to island. They found the green stone in one of the islands but they just thought it was jade or something, not a life altering stone. The gang meet Pidge and Matt when Keith accidentally sets fire to the sail or something. The two siblings rescue them and decide to help them.