mind over matter

Joanna shifted closer as Farren coughed, worry clear on her features even though her daughter was smiling. “Shh don’t you dare apologise.” She murmured holding Farren’s hand as tightly as she could without worrying she’d be hurt by it. “This wasn’t your fault and I’m so sorry. I was supposed to be the grown up and what I did was awful. It’s me who has the making up to do Far,”

farren shook her head, she hated to see her mom like this, it caused her physical and mental pain. “mom it’s okay, if it makes you feel any better we were both as equally to blame for what happened. i’m not going to move back in though, i’m going to stay with ash. i really love her mom so please go easy on her.”

ash bit her lip as she listened to farren. feeling her hand against her cheek, her eyes fluttered closed for a second. the only thing she had wanted since the news broke was to just hold her again. at least for a little while. she kicked her shoes off, soon crawling into the bed wrapping an arm around the other. “you don’t get to do that to me again, okay?” she mumbled against farren’s head, a frown appearing on her face at the other’s suggestion. mostly at the thought of the other woman wanting to spend the rest of her life with her. that was something she had never expected anyone to feel about herself. “get married? you really want that?” she pulled back a little, needing to see her fully. her hand moved from farren’s waist, up to her jaw, her thumb rubbing at it gently. “i mean — i want that more than anything. but — i don’t want you doing it because you’re scared or anything. i want you to want it because you love me, not because you almost died.”

farren felt somewhat rejected even though she knew that’s not what ash was saying at all, she just wanted to hear a straight up yes. she leaned up and kissed ash and smiled. “i love you, i love you, i love you. i’ll say it again and again and again. i’ll scream it from the rooftops if i have to. i love you, ashley muñoz and i would very much like to spend the rest of my very long happy life telling you that. i’m scared as hell, i’d be a fool not to be but my love for you is deeper than any other feeling in my heart right now and i want you to be mine forever.” she nudged herself closer to ash, loving the feeling of being by her side again. “and if you say no i’ll just unplug all of these machines and leave.” she chuckled to show she was joking.

Thomas couldn’t help but stare at Farren, his hand moving to rub her head like he’d done many times when she was a child. “I’m just glad to see you’re awake.” he started, watching as Farren spoke, explaining how she felt. “I understand how you feel, Farren, I do. But just know that I will do anything in my power to make sure that you are safe. Anything I can do I will. No questions asked.” he spoke, moving slightly so he was now sitting on the edge of her bed instead of the chair he’d been permanently sat in for days. “Don’t move.” he shook his head, relaxing so he was laying beside her, well, the best that he could anyways. “I’m right here.”

when he joined her on the bed, farren just immediately felt at ease and you could even see her heart rate drop on the monitor behind her. she had so much she wanted to say but she just couldn’t. she rested her head on her dad’s shoulder and sighed contently. “i’m sorry i was such an ass to you and mom.” her voice was soft and quiet.

“hey, no, no, don’t leave, it’s fine.” not wanting her to leave he grabbed her arm as he popped out from behind the door, the other hand holding onto the towel wrapped around his waist. “i was just — showering.” a small chuckle slipped from him as he let go of her arm. “sorry, i — you don’t have to go. i’m not busy or anything. and i — um, i wanted to see you too, i just — you wanna come inside?” he offered, stepping to the side so she could enter the apartment.

seeing patrick in just a towel sent luci into pure panic and she couldn’t help but look him up and down, the butterflies in her stomach going crazy as she did. the hand on her arm burned in the very best way and she couldn’t say no to him. she moved past him, brushing against him softly as she did. “you just had to be in a towel didn’t you…” she mumbled.

closed starter for hope [ @mindovermattr ]

riley wasn’t good at this. they never had been really. not that it was news to hope. things had really fallen apart right before she left lakeview, and riley had given up any hope of things ever going back to normal — at least up until now. spending time with hope was fun. and especially like this. the only downside to it was that it had to end sometime. at least riley assumed that’s what hope wanted. any chance at something more than some sex seemed long gone now. rolling out of bed, riley grabbed their shirt off the floor, soon pulling it over their head. “i’m glad you’re back in town, y’know?” they gave hope a smile as they stood at the foot of the bed. “this town is packed with weirdos, but — at least you’re a good weirdo.” they smirked.

hope adored riley and always had, they’d had a somewhat tumultuous relationship at times but it was real for hope, she loved riley. it was a surprise when riley got up to leave and she gave them an almost sad look. “hey, you don’t need to leave. that’s not what this is riley. please stay.” she reached out a hand for the other and smiled. “come back to bed babe.”

“Hey, princess.” Thomas smiled softly, exhaustion evident in his eyes. He stood, moving and kissing her forehead softly, hoping she wouldn’t be too angry at him for trying to be affectionate. He knew things between them had been kind of rocky, and he knew it was his own fault. “Just today or in general?” he questioned, relaxing in the chair again after he pulled it closer to Farren’s bed. “Today, well, since before day break.” he added, looking back down at his daughter. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

farren was beyond grateful to have her dad by her side, he had always been a superhero in her eyes and even now after everything they had gone through as a family, he was with her and she was honestly just so glad to see him. “i feel…okay. i think. well, no, i’m scared and i’m hurting. i’m scared they’re going to come back and finish what they started and i don’t know how i’m going to get past that.” she was sure that both thomas and joanna weren’t going to be letting her out of their sight any time soon and that eased her worries slightly. “i could use a dad hug honestly but i don’t think i can get up.”

Joanna had barely left the hospital since Farren’s attack, as soon as she was able to be there she had been and even when she left Farren alone she was waiting somewhere else in the hospital. She smiled gently as Farren spoke. “Oh your whole life darling, I had cameras installed.”

farren laughed as her mom spoke though it soon turned into a cough and she winced in pain. “i’m glad you’re here, mama.” she reached out a hand to grab jo’s. “i’m sorry for everything i said and did, i’m — i’m an awful person and i promise i’m going to be better, i want to be better. i’m going to stop drinking and i’m going to make it up to you, i swear.”

it had taken ash a while to muster up the courage to go into farren’s hospital room. she had watched through the window’s though. and kept an eye on joanna. sat around in kassie’s room. so she hadn’t really been anywhere but the hospital. but facing farren? that had become one of the hardest things about the whole situation. she had been so lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t even noticed the other waking up from where she was sat next to her bed. “a little while.” her voice was low. she was still trying to get back to herself from everything that had happened over the past few days. “i’m sorry it took me a little while to – come in here. i figured jo and tom should have priority.” she offered a small smile, playing with her hands as she tried to keep her gaze away from the other. she didn’t know how to look at her just yet. it wasn’t farren’s fault. the guilt was eating at her. not having been able to protect her. having been so weak and slipped. it wasn’t rational to think like this. ash knew that. but – it was still a feeling she couldn’t shake just yet. the last thing she had ever wanted to do was disappoint farren. and somehow she felt like that was all she was doing.

farren could feel the tension in the room, she wasn’t sure why but it was there and it was heavy. “hey…it’s fine. i’m not the best company right now anyway so i understand why you wouldn’t exactly want to spend your time in here with me but i’m fine you know, babe.” the term of endearment slipping through her lips. “you okay? you look tired. you should come and get on the bed with me, i’m pretty sure the doctor told me i needed to be cuddled so you know…can’t argue with doctors orders.”

pat wasn’t stupid. not that stupid at least. he knew that luci was way out of his league. and she was his nephew’s mother. she was david’s. he had been so deep in thought in the shower he hadn’t heard the banging on the door. at least not until moose decided to make him notice. he couldn’t help but groan as he heard the howls from outside the bathroom door. grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist, he made his way out to the hallway, only offering the dog a “shut the fuck up, dude.” before making it to the door. he swung it open, peeking his head out from behind it. “luci. um – did i forget something? fuck, is santi supposed to hang out here tonight?”

luci grimaced slightly in embarrassment as pat didn’t even completely open the door, maybe he had a girl in there with him. suddenly she felt ridiculous coming to see him. “bad time? i can come back if you’re busy i mean…if you want me to come back.” she stepped back for a moment and shook her head. “i just wanted to come and see you, i should’ve called or texted you first i’m sorry. i — i’ll go, enjoy your evening pat.”

TW: HOSPITAL, TW: INJURY MENTION “hey, there’s fuck all else to do in here,” kassie replied. she must have looked ridiculous, from her wheelchair with a leg extension for her broken limb, the opposite arm in a sling. a hand held machine sat on her lap, beeping, showing her own stats, and a thin pole on wheels with a drip bag attached to it, sat beside her. “they just got me these wheels so i can move from my bed once or twice a day, and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she explained. her voice was hoarse, her lips chapped. “taking it on people’s word is fine but…I’ve always been a see it to believe it kinda girl,” she added. 

farren couldn’t help but laugh at kassie’s response, it was true. she was bored out of her mind in the hospital but hoped she wouldn’t be there long. she had lost a ton of blood during the attack but luckily her major organs were still in tact and she was more or less out of the woods, she’d just have to take it easy for a couple of months. “i’m okay, and i’m glad you are too. i — have you had nightmares? i close my eyes and i just think i’m back there again…”

luci had been going over everything that had happened in the school in her head, her and pat…her and pat who also happened to be the brother of her son’s dead father…it was messy but luci had never felt anything like the feelings that she had when she kissed pat. she paced a little outside of the door to pat’s apartment and knocked, she was rehearsing what she was going to say in her head but just knew as soon as she saw pat that her mind would blank and she wouldn’t be able to find the words that she wanted to say. “come on pat, open your damn door.” she mumbled a little louder than she should’ve, he would’ve definitely heard her if he’d been close enough.

“touché.” pat let out a small chuckle. it was no secret that david had put himself in more than enough trouble in his days. “you know very well i’m not the most exciting guy around here.” pat smiled, tilting his head as he watched luci. she was hot, there was no denying that. but she was also – david’s. was this patrick’s place? he didn’t know. he wanted to know though. “oh, yeah? how?” a smirk settled on his lips as he placed a hand on the desk on either side of luci, leaning closer to her. “i’m here.”

“you’re exciting to me.” luci smiled as he did actually come to her and her legs parted so he could stand between them. “i can think of a few things we could do to keep us entertained.” there was no going back from this though, luci thought. they wouldn’t be able to go back to how they had been if they slept together but in that moment she didn’t want to think about the what ifs. she reached up and pulled patrick down to her level catching him in a searing kiss.

patrick frowned when luci moved away from him. being close to her was the only place he really felt at ease these days, but he tried to shake it off. he wasn’t about to make her think he was upset with her when all he wanted to was to be closer to her. “he’s a good kid. he won’t go causing too much trouble.” patrick tried to offer a small smile and shrugged his shoulders. “i wish i had some fun activities to offer, but i wasn’t really prepared to be stuck in here for however long.”

“he might, look at who his parents are.” luci smiled as she thought of all the things her and david would get up to back in the day. “no fun activities? damn, i’m going to have to go and find someone who’ll actually entertain me huh?” she sat on the edge of the table with a smirk. “you know we could make our own fun right?” her tone laced with flirtation. she didn’t expect pat to reciprocate anything but what harm was a little bit of fun between two friends? “come here.”