JuanaChill

when you grow up in a conditional household where every basic necessity, every specific want has to be earned with an extraordinary job, you grow to starve yourself. Every desire seems to be futile, even something as mundane as wanting a new diary for journal, wanting a new lipstick in replacement for the old damaged one, wanting icecream money on weekends, unless you earn it. You grow to believe that you don't deserve anything for free. You grow to believe that even a pinch of happiness has to be traded with a huge sacrifice. You grow to limit the space you take up, making it smaller and more cramped, just to accommodate others. You grow to put your needs behind, you grow to feed on morsels, you grow to completely lose your worth.