does anyone wannna hear my haxfume canon divergent au. Yes? ok
It's the 29th of August, 12 hours before Season 11 ends. Hackingnoises is on the ranked instance, keyboard noises hacking away as he queues Nerdi.
Nerdi screams in agony as Hax sub-4s on him.
12 hours later, the number 1 name on the leaderboard reads:
1 🇭🇰 hackingnoises 3000
6 days later, lcq starts.
After 10 grueling seeds, Hackingnoises sets the newest LCQ point record of a jaw-dropping 248 points, making him the 12th seed.
Nerdi and Couriway drags Doogile in the booth, after Edcr picked Danny, the 16th seed.
"I pick Hax. I want to give him a hard bracket." Doog smiles at his handcam-turned-facecam, and aura-leaves the call, immediately booting up Geometry dash and beating Society by Neomarbilan.
Hax complains that his bracket has always been hard.
Couriway and Nerdi gasps, awed by the aura.
First weekend of playoffs Season 11 comes, and the Doogile and Hax match starts as the 4th and last match of the first day.
It's 2-0. Hax gets nervous. But then Lowkey types in Hax's stream chat: ☑️ lowkey: don't get nervous
Hax reverse sweeps Doogile. 3-2.
Semifinals. It's time to face Lowkey.
Like his game against Doogile, Lowkey is up 2-0.
Hax looks at his stream chat. ☑️ infume: lock in chud
Hax wins. 3-2.
Quarterfinals. His next opponent? Silverrruns.
Reminiscent of his Ro16 in Season 10, he's down 2-0.
He has 5 blaze rods; Silverr is ahead. He makes the decision: Hax sends the 2 eye.
It pays off.
Feinberg drafts out an essay to complain in the ranked discord.
Never punished. 3-2.
Grand Finals. It's against Infume; It's always against Infume.
He's down 3-0.
The Infume and Hackingnoisess chat are spamming weneedtolockin.
"Hax is full clear." Fulham mid-match analyses.
It turns into a game 7.
Hax and Infume blind into the portal room.
It's a hard zero. Infume hits a 2 + 3. And Hax?
Hax hits a flawless 2 + 2.
The dragon flies down…
And Hackingnoises is crowned as the Playoffs winner of Season 11. 4-3.
He's dragged into the booth with Couriway and Rosebeams.
But wait… there's 4 of them in call?
"Infume, you're not supposed to be here." Couriway tries to drag him out of the call.
"Wait!" Infume screams. "Hax, I'm in love with you and your speedrunning. Ever since you beat me in Season 8."
"Infume, I…" Hax hesitates, turning on his facecam in the call, with Infume turning on his as well.
"We're still Live, by the way." Rosebeams says.
"Infume, I love you too." Haxfume kisses through discord, like Silverreign had.
Couriway and Rosebeams smile.
The chat spams homoresexual.
Lowkey sends a thumbs down emoji next to a pride flag in chat.
Doogile has moved on from Geometry dash to Osu!.
Dandannyboy won over Edcr in Ro16.
Mustard is already making an album for Season 12.
Draftout is down again.
Mongey is streaming RSG.
Hax and Infume get married.
END.
DSLDHSG8DHDVXIZNZKZKSH Anon... this is incredible, wow
My favourite parts are haxfume doing a silverrreign style kiss, homophobic lowkey and dannyboy W
Also ☝this doesnt have to be canon divergence, for all we know this might actually end up happening
