Roll the Dice - Noah the Barbarian
The entire table gulped audibly as Adrian handed them the character sheets. Even though they didn’t know about the magic, something about the sheets felt weird to them. However that feeling was quick to pass as the excitement of creating new characters took over.
Noah went first, basically vibrating as he grabbed the dice.
“Okay,” he said, grinning nervously. “I’m doing it. Full commitment. Human barbarian.”
Ethan burst out laughing immediately.
“I can play against type!”
“You look like you lose fights against folding chairs.”
Noah flipped him off, but blushed slightly, looking at Adrian for the okay to start the character creation.
“Roll in order.”, Adrian nodded softly, “Strength first.”
The D20 clattered against the old wooden table, everyone’s eyes drawn to the shiny piece of plastic.
For a second nothing happened. And suddenly Noah inhaled sharply as he sat upright in his chair, his posture suddenly remarkably straight.
Underneath his hoodie his shoulders shot out to the sides as meat piled onto his frame, the fabric just barely adjusting in time to not get completely shredded under the pressure of the frail nerd’s inflation. His forearms thickened, his biceps bringing the sleeves devastatingly close to breaking point, veins pushing out against his skin. His hands flexing as they grew to the size of dinner plates, powerful and manly. Then his chest expanded, pulling the fabric already struggling with his cannonball arms tightly against his enormous pecs.
“Oh my God,” Oliver whispered.
Noah lurched upward as another inch—then another—was added to his height. His knees pressed awkwardly against the underside of the table before the transformation settled. Not monstrous. Not absurd. Just overwhelmingly athletic. Broad. Powerful.
Like a heavyweight fighter hidden beneath a nerd’s clothing.
And then reality adjusted.
New memories appeared, the image of tiny Noah disappearing like ice under the midday sun, the awkward ginger runt replaced with the overwhelmingly manly mountain of muscle who acted like a tiny nerd. Only Adrian retained his old memories, smiling faintly at the awkward way the towering Barbarian warrior sat there, squeezing his enormous bulk at the table and still trying and failing to take up less space than his intensely huge frame demanded.
Noah himself looked oddly surprised by his new size, carefully balling and relaxing his fists a couple of times, almost seeming unsettled by the size of his own muscles. Only the sound of Adrian’s smooth voice ripped the Barbarian-sized nerd out of his stupor.
Noah nodded and rolled again.
The change was subtler this time.
His posture and movement looked less precise, less graceful. It really appeared like the low roll on Dexterity had grounded the mountain sized geek somewhat. His posture now seemed more confident and solid, heavier even, his behaviour now showing less nervous and anxious shifting. Like someone who relied on power over grace.
A water bottle slipped from his grasp a second later.
“Jesus, dude.”, Ethan laughed, “I still can’t get over the fact that a guy that’s built like a linebacker has finally dipped his toe into playing a Barbarian after all these years. Speaking of which, are you still hellbent on getting on the football team? Coach must be getting fed up with your clumsy ass constantly trying out.”
Noah just blushed, his ears nearly as ginger as his hair, which he now hid under a cap of the local football team. With his clumsiness he didn’t make for the best player, but he’d tried enough times to like the sport.
Adrian watched from behind his DM screen as reality settled around Noah, curiously observing the mental changes that had begun around the edges. Noah was still Noah … just more.
“Constitution.”, Adrian prompted.
The die bounced once. Twice.
The effects hit like a freight train this time.
Noah gasped as his frame became denser. Not bigger per se, but more sharply defined, his chest swelling against the fabric and pulling it tight against his mid section, the outline of 6 brick sized abs clearly visible. Even his neck thickened, a prominent Adam's apple pushing into existence and lowering the Barbarian’s voice from a soft tenor to a booming bass.
Even a beard forced itself into existence against his more masculine lantern jaw. Not the teenage scruff he had been able to grow before, but a thick manly beard that looked utterly right on his rugged face.
Noah looked amazing. Not delicate. Not pretty-boy handsome. Dangerously handsome. Like some mythological northern warrior accidentally dropped into a college apartment.
“Hell yeah,”, the incredibly sexy lumberjack said, once again shocking his friends with the foghorn boom of his voice, “Nineteen Con.”
The other three players just nodded. Even sitting down, Noah dominated the room physically now. His shoulders stretched the seams of his hoodie so badly he eventually peeled it off entirely, revealing a black tank top straining across an absurdly broad chest and thick, powerful arms.
The Barbarian shifted in his seat, immediately drawing attention to another result of his roll.
“Dude, can’t you wear underwear for once to DnD? Your sweatpants look ridiculous!”, Ethan complained, trying very hard not to stare at the obvious outline of what was running down his left leg. Noah just blushed, trying to make his footlong soft cock somehow less noticeable through his grey sweatpants. And failing miserably.
Like the rest of him the thing sat heavy, thick and huge off the edge of the chair, even the outline of his bull balls being faintly visible through the fabric trying to cover his crotch.
“Talk about Barbarian Constitution.”, Marcus chuckled.
“Shut up,” Noah muttered.
But he sounded more embarrassed in theory than in practice. The growing confidence from his partially locked-in stats kept blunting his old insecurity before it could fully form.
Adrian quietly watched the magic settle again.
“Keep rolling.”, he said, “Intelligence is next.”
Noah, still feeling high from the absolutely monstrous roll on Constitution, enthusiastically threw the die.
The change was immediate.
The sharpness behind his eyes dulled and he relaxed in his seat. The constant anxious overprocessing vanished instantly as his racing thoughts slowed to a crawl. Adrian just grinned. A Barbarian wasn’t meant to be smart after all. He already had the overwhelming physicality, he didn’t need to think too much.
His posture spread wider in the chair.
He looked at his friends with a relaxed and easy smile, confident despite his reduced intelligence.
“Dude, you’re literally playing yourself. Huge in body, but not the brightest bulb.”, Ethan chuckled at his simple friend. Noah just grinned in return and threw up his enormous cannonball biceps in a flex. Reality had settled seamlessly around the giant himbo.
Adrian cleared his throat and nodded towards the dice. “Let’s roll Wisdom next.”
The effect was subtler but somehow more unsettling.
Noah’s eyes softened immediately.
Not weaker physically—far from it—but more suggestible. More trusting. More willing to follow stronger personalities without questioning them deeply. Especially Adrian. Adrian noticed it at once. So did Ethan.
“Earth to Barbarian,” Ethan muttered. “You’re looking at Adrian weirdly again.”
“You keep waiting for him to talk before doing stuff.”
Only Adrian understood how profound the shift really was.
Noah’s independent critical resistance had just permanently collapsed. Not mindless obedience. Just reduced willpower. Reduced need to question. The barbarian archetype was crystallizing perfectly. While always physically in charge, he liked for others to take the lead, make suggestions and tell him what to do.
And there was still one stat left.
Adrian folded his hands together behind the DM screen and smiled faintly.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then Noah smiled and the entire atmosphere of the room shifted instantly. Not magically glowing. Not supernatural mind control. Just… overwhelming presence.
His posture straightened subtly, massive shoulders rolling back with effortless confidence while his expression relaxed into an easy, rugged charm that looked absurdly natural on him. The lazy grin beneath his copper stubble suddenly carried weight behind it. Warmth. Magnetism.
His face redefined itself, becoming even more devastatingly handsome, manly, rugged. Like his entire look had been designed by someone who wanted to show what copious amounts of testosterone would do to a handsome man’s face.
And reality adapted around him. To the rest of the table Noah had always been overwhelmingly charismatic. He could say the most stupid shit and people would still laugh with him, his entire personality just becoming comfort food, easygoing and welcoming, while never losing the raw sex appeal that made people want to suck his cock or get impaled on his meat hammer within 5 minutes of meeting him.
“Guess I’m just charismatic.”, the massive ginger chuckled dumbly.
The line should have sounded ridiculous.
Instead, all three of them laughed immediately.
Even Adrian almost smiled for real.
The magic settled completely.
The transformation finalized.
Noah Tanner—the nervous valedictorian, comic-shop employee, chronic overthinker—was gone.
Reality now insisted he had never existed in that form at all.
Instead, Noah had always been this. A towering, massively muscular ginger barbarian of a man with movie-star ruggedness, absurd stamina, effortless charm, and the simple confidence of someone who had never spent much time doubting himself. A beautiful brute with long wavy copper hair, heavy stubble, broad hands, thick muscle-packed limbs, and a mind optimized less for critical analysis and more for instinct, confidence, and immediate physical certainty.
And according to everyone’s rewritten memories? He had always been the heart of the group. The guy strangers flirted with constantly. The one who won arguments through sheer presence instead of logic. The one who solved problems by kicking doors open.
Noah himself looked down at the completed character sheet and grinned proudly.
“Damn,” he rumbled. “This dude rules.”
“Our resident himbo literally plays himself.”, Ethan rolled his eyes. “Massive super stud football player, massive super stud barbarian. Tomato, tomato.”
“Still taller than you.”, Noah countered and the room burst out laughing.
And Adrian quietly watched the rewritten world stabilize around the completed barbarian.
The grimoire beneath the table pulsed warmly against his knee.
Hungry for the next story.
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