I AM FREE

But that's not even my biggest problem with the discourse! My problem is that the question of whether a person is culpable for their actions is irrelevant to whether another person has the right to draw boundaries with them. You can draw boundaries even if someone is hurting you completely unintentionally and without malice. A metaphor: if someone you love gets the Punch You In The Face Disease, where they genuinely, truly cannot help punching you in the face, you're not morally obliged to stay in punching range and pretend it doesn't hurt. It's completely reasonable to physically remove yourself and limit your conversations to the phone until they are in remission.

It is good to give people accommodations. It is good to be patient and understanding with other people's mistakes, whether or not they have a diagnosed mental condition. It is also good to have boundaries, whether or not the other person has a diagnosed mental condition. It doesn't actually *matter* if the he is mansplaining or if he's infodumping on his special interest, he's talking over you either way. It doesn't matter if she's flaking on you because she's an asshole or because she has ADHD, you're being stood up either way. You have a choice to put up with it or not, and that choice rests with you, not with them.

My partner did stay around but he also established strong boundaries. I could be upset about something but that doesn't mean he'd stop doing it if it was something that was not harmful to anyone and beneficial to him, like going out with his friends when I was irrationally upset about it and wanted him to stop seeing them for some reason I didn't even understand myself. He wasn't mean about it, he just protected himself.

My father enables my mother's bad behaviors, defends her and constantly makes excuses for her and so she's only gotten worse with time. She's used to walking all over people and seeing no consequences for it.

Meanwhile, I was able to actually heal and get to a point where things are better for both me & the people around me. Thanks to everyone who didn't enable me. I also benefit from not being angry, scared, anxious and lashing out constantly.

It's not ableist to tell someone that their behavior (even when it's caused by poor mental health) is unacceptable and you're not going to put up with it. You shouldn't be an asshole about it or bully them but like if someone's pushing your buttons, taking advantage and being a dick to you... you're also human, if you react badly in return, they should have some understanding for you too.