indefinite hiatus

my depression has been really bad lately because of the financial strain on my family and a couple of other reasons which has made posting here even harder!!! i know i owe sooo many starters and replies and i’m very sorry to anyone i’m inconveniencing. it’s really hard to keep up with and feel like i’m staying relevant in such a large fandom. i am going to try my very best to get to things on here soon but i keep saying that to myself and putting it off because of depression and anxiety so who knows?? i’m definitely DEFINITELY not leaving!!! yugioh is my big big big special interest and my favourite thing of all time !!! but im not in a place where i can be active right now and i hope everyone understands!!! i will get to starters and replies when i am mentally able so thank you so much for being patient!!!

in the mean time, i have a new rp blog for neptune from the neptunia series because the fandom is very tiny and easier for me to handle right now so please feel free to follow me over there if you’d like to rp with me while i’m on hiatus over here!!

“Y-Yeah.” No. Maybe? The blonde wasn’t sure. He shifted legs now, glancing Yugi over and fumbling with the little parcel in his hands, offering it up silently and averting his gaze. It wasn’t entirely unusual for him to get presents for the sleepy boy, but nothing that couldn’t wait for the next morning. Nothing that he had to rush over for, nothing that made his hands want to shake, nothing that made him feel so tiny and hopeful. God this was gay.

     He tilted his head to the side a bit, confused and admittedly a little worried at the response he was given. He was quick to open his mouth in preparation to give his friend a few reassuring words, to remind him that if there was something wrong, if there was ever something wrong, he didn’t need to deal with it on his own, but he cut himself off once Jounouchi offered him the gift, worried expression quickly melting into one of relief as a similar toned sigh was released. He grabbed the package from the other, offering a bit of a sheepish smile, even though Jounouchi had looked away.

sentence starters

     He hadn’t realised he’d been quietly singing to himself until he heard one of Mana’s usual exclamations, cutting off whatever words were going to come next. He was quick to raise his hands in a form of surrender at the idea. It was embarrassing enough that Mana had heard him singing at all.

“Good?” [ How naive. These were mere sketches that were having their quality significantly ruined by the jerking of the bumpy train ride. Yusuke supposed that the boy wasn’t an artist himself, or perhaps was just merely being kind. Well that didn’t have to be true- there was something appealing about free-flowing and careless art. It gave off a sense of childish innocence even. ]

[ It’s not like Yusuke thought his art was bad or anything- he just had a habit of being critical of all his work in order to prevent himself from stagnating in his growth and becoming too comfortable. Yusuke needed to step back sometimes and learn to just appreciate his work for what it was sometimes. ]

I thank you for your words of kindness. Although I must admit that I am not drawing anything of interest at the moment; just a few quick studies to pass the time on my commute, is all.

     A few, baffled blinks were all he could spare to begin with, unsure of how to interpret the one worded response he’d been given in reply. Anxiety began to work its way back into his system, worrying if he’d, perhaps, accidentally offended the other somehow. After a bit of an awkward pause he opened his mouth to explain that he hadn’t intended to come across as rude, only to be interrupted (saved, really) when the other boy spoke again. 

Yugi was quick to sigh in relief when, instead of being reprimanded for what he had said in any way, he was thanked. Clearly, he’d been worried about nothing. He really needed to get better at that, but that was a task for another time. He leaned back in his seat, waving his hands in dismissal at the other.

     After a few awkward strokes with the aid of a spare broom, the other’s unconscious writhing finally came to a stop, bringing a sigh of relief from Yugi. He didn’t know what was wrong for him to turn in his sleep like that, but it hardly mattered now that it was over, he supposed. However, his small moment of relief was brought to a quick end as the lump on the couch quickly changed shape, hissing before confronting him about his course of action. 

It would have been embarrassing enough to have to explain himself to Ryou, but trying to explain to this guy was a chore and a half. The broom was quickly set aside as frantic hands rose in an attempt to dismiss himself, waving slightly as he shook his head, obviously flustered.

     It wasn’t uncommon for Yugi to think he was hearing voices in the midst of the night’s silence nowadays. There was something about being alone in the dark that made him uneasy. When he was younger, he would find himself unable to fall asleep without the company of a nightlight, but ever finding the Millennium Puzzle in the depths of the store’s basement, he’d felt a little better about the darkness. Even before he completed the puzzle, he hadn’t felt quite so alone in the darkness with that box sitting beside his bed on his desk.

These past few months though, that overwhelming loneliness that he remembered from his childhood had begun to escort him through the night once more. Sometimes he questioned why he could still be afraid of such a childish thing. He knew, why, though. It was because now he really WAS alone in the dark. He still had his other friends, sure. He had Jou and Anzu and Honda and Ryou... He loved and appreciated their company, of course he did, but with Atem gone, it felt like a piece of him was missing; a piece he’d never get back.

He rolled over in his bed, throwing his blanket loosely over his head as he gripped the puzzle that lay beside him with a single hand. It felt almost wrong to have it back after having accepted that it, that Atem, was gone, but he couldn’t abandon the artifact. He owed the pharaoh that much, at least. And he wasn’t REALLY gone, right? Not as long as he remembered him! But the more he told himself that, the cheesier it sounded. Memories of him would never be quite the same as having his other self with him.

The muffled voice that seemed to emanate from the darkness didn’t disappear as it normally did, nor did the anxious nagging in his head. Perhaps he was just tired, but that didn’t make him feel much better; it didn’t console him as he failed to convince himself that he was all right. Logically, he knew that it was just his anxiety making him hear things that weren’t really there, but that didn’t stop him from peeking his face out from under the covers to speak out into the darkness that surrounded him.

Jounouchi stopped in his tracks when he heard the distinct voice, turning around to see the little short stack running his way.

“Hey, Yu– Be careful!”

He let out a little laugh, always appreciating the other’s excitement. However, being handed the paper, he blinked, face lighting with curiosity.

“Huh? Are you sure? I mean, I know I’ve been doing pretty good in duels and all…” He couldn’t help feeling a little proud of himself, though his self confidence was justified. He had been kicking butt recently, literally and metaphorically, and he felt he was on the top of his game.

“You sure your gramps wouldn’t be too upset if I did this? Don’t wanna go hurting his feelings.”

     He couldn’t help but smile a bit too wide, perhaps more pleased than he should be knowing that his friend was feeling confident in his skills as a duelist. It may have been silly, but hearing things like that always filled him with joy. 

Duel Monsters had done so much for him and his friends, hadn’t it? It was kind of weird to think that something as simple as a card game could do as much as it had, but that didn’t matter. A small laugh was stifled moments later at his friend’s comment about his grandfather. 

❀ - Her blush darkened considerably when he complimented her name. He was just full of surprises, wasn’t he? Complimenting her name, shaking her hand - just talking to her was weird, really! Gosh… Her life was starting to sound really sad, now that she thought about it. 

Ah, but she had other things to focus on! He was… well, he was still there, for one.

“Ah, but your name sounds really nice! It has a pretty flow,” Oh boy, that probably sounded weird. Save yourself, Polka, “A-A game shop? That sounds cool! M-my family owns a tea and herb shop! Sometimes I make floral arrangements too, so… It’s small, but ah, if you like tea or flowers, it’s a neat shop, I guess.” 

     The girl’s response evoked a somewhat similar response from Yugi, cheeks reddening in embarrassment as a hand came up to rub anxiously at the back of his neck. He’d never been all that good at handling compliments, and one as unique and genuine as that warmed his heart. People normally complimented him on his skill at duel monsters or other games,  so to hear something so sweet about something as simple as his name... it was nice.

     It was no rare occurrence for Yugi to visit the museum on his days off from helping his grandfather with the game shop. In fact, he was there so often that he’d become pretty good friends with a few of the staff members which, of course, just lead to him taking trips to the museum more frequently. It was a bit of a deadly cycle, but Yugi didn’t mind. The admittance fee wasn’t all that expensive, and it was more than worth the money.

What was a bit rare, however, was Yugi running into his friends in the building. Well, friends that didn’t work here, anyway. There was a slight pause before he approached the other. Was “friend” a proper word for Ryuzaki? Yugi considered him to be his friend, but he wasn’t sure whether the other duelist felt the same way. He shook his head to himself, deciding that it didn’t matter whether the feeling of camaraderie was mutual or not.

     Despite Yugi’s optimistic nature, (that he supposed could get a bit overbearing at times) he’d never been one to stop strangers on the street unless he had a really good reason. No matter how much he itched to whip out his deck when he saw someone opening Duel Monsters booster packs, he didn’t want to wind up bothering anyone. Or perhaps it was just that he wasn’t confident enough. He sighed to himself as the thought occurred to him before giving a confident nod to no one in particular. Just because Atem wasn’t around anymore, that didn’t mean he should start doubting himself so much. If anything, shouldn’t he be focusing on doing the opposite? Sure, it was a bit harder to be confident without the other around, but he owed it to the spirit- the Pharaoh- to at least give it his best shot. 

Not long after deciding this, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye that interested him. Violet orbs lit up with childish glee as he watched two boys who seemed to be around his age playing some sort of game with... were those pins? He crept up a bit closer than was socially acceptable to watch, excitedly turning to one of them once they had finished.

   “I’d be happy to show you, Yugi…” It was the least he could do for him, after all. He’d done so much to help out his Pharaoh, and had treated his spirit so kindly, that Mahad almost felt indebted to the other. “What parts of it are you having trouble with?”

     He released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding when Mahad replied. Perhaps he’d been a bit more nervous about asking about this than he’d originally thought. He took in another small breath in an attempt to calm himself down. He knew, logically, that he shoudln’t be as worried as he found himself to be, but there was something so vaguely scary about learning what the hieroglyphics etched into the golden box said, after all this time. After this, that would be it. There would be no more puzzles surrounding the Pharaoh that he would be able to solve. Part of him wanted to keep it a mystery, but he owed it to Atem to do his best to move on.

“It was my fault! I created that monster that left your friends mentally shaken. I fully intend to take the blame, thus why I will forever distance myself to never hurt anyone again.” his words were harsh and each said with complete truth to his belief. Marik wasn’t a self hating person, but he did always tend to relish on his past mistakes. In a way, it clouded his judgement for future situations. But there was nothing that would change him. It was how he was and then only way he knew how to be. It was as if his resilience was a protective shell that he placed around himself to prevent harm.

     “No it wasn’t!” The words came out in a shout, leaving him trembling slightly at the volume of his own voice. A few moments were taken for him to steady his breathing after the outburst had left him more winded than he’d care to admit. After a bit of an awkward pause, he opened his mouth to apologise for yelling, but ultimately chose not to.