Millafred

No matter how big and bad you are, when a two year old hands you a phone, you answer it!

90% of the ocean remains unexplored and you're telling me mermaids don't exist? Fuck you!

Dear ex. Just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean I want you back. We broke up for a reason.

I'm a leader. Not a follower. Unless it's a dark place, then fuck that shit you're going first.

I really thought quicksand was going to be a bigger issue in life when I was little.

"Where did all your money go?" I'm either wearing it or I ate it.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Fine doesn't mean fine. The scale goes: Great Good Okay Not okay I hate you Fine

Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes when you're worried, no one sees your pain. Sometimes when you're happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just one time...

I'm a Victoria secret's model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.

Bitch, don't you "previously on" me. I have been watching this show for 5 hours. I know what happend.

Winged eyeliner so sharp I could stap your ass, bitch!

Part of me says I need to stop drinking this much. The other part says "don't listen to that girl, she's drunk!"

"What are you, twelve?" Yeah, on a scale of one to ten. Bitch!

Attractive person: "Hi" Me: "Who paid you?"

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented or... I forgot were I was going with this.