look what the cat dragged in

hello high pitched ringing sound. how have you been? how's the family?

how beautiful

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

they beat Jesus with that

congratulations to promethazines for making a phrase so good that years later i still remark ‘they beat jesus with that’ upon seeing any kind of lumpy mess

wire mother...

out of the way swagless I'm about to get some

I have been cursed for eternity

liking a character but lacking the brainpower to have any real coherent thought or clever analysis of them so your brain just kind of says their name over and over like a teen girl in a cheesy romance writing her crushes name over and over in glittery gel pen surrounded by hearts

Ripley's don't believe it

every eldest daughter deserves to be evil

honestly this should be the most popular post on tumblr but younger siblings won't reblog this

You bitches already are 😭 every younger sibling has a story where their older sibling used CIA torture techniques on them like get over yourselvesssss

Somewhere in the world, there is a tree that sprouted the same day you were born and has been growing along with you.

Reading this tweet without even attempting to interpret it. Just basking in it