Depends on My Mood

“what about the poor little white kids just trying to have fun?” what about the poor little kids of color made to feel unsafe and unwelcome in a space that was supposed to be fun?

“why can’t poc just make their own redesigns and we can keep these ones” why cant you realize that your actions have consequences and that you should maybe try to not enforce racist stereotypes??

like ofc its ideal to have VARIETY among both villains AND protagonists, its when your characters look like this

that the issue arises

I’ve seen plenty of posts about it being important for allistics to not infantilise autistic people, and I agree.

But you know what I haven’t seen addressed and really want to make clear?

Allistics are not allowed to judge which behaviours are infantilising when it comes to autistic people receiving support.

What neurotypicals might perceive as “infantilising” to them, might just be what allows an autistic person to function. I have had this happened to me a few times, but the most notable occasion was about a month ago.

I was not functioning well with living alone and had fallen behind on many important phone calls, was not eating regularly, and was overall in a very bad mental state.

For the first time, I actually opened up to my mother about how much I struggle with these things, and it was a very big moment for me. She was not the most accepting when I was first diagnosed with ASD, but she has come far since then (still some way to go though).

She was facetiming me one day and was helping me write a list of things I had to do and was laying things out in minute detail.

‘Have you eaten today?’ ‘No.’ ‘Okay, you need to go to the fridge, then get some food, make a sandwich and sit down to eat it.’ I wrote all of this down on my whiteboard. ‘Then you need to set an alarm on your phone for 1pm everyday-’ she waited for me to open the app ‘-then you need to label it “eat lunch”.’

And this was the most support I had ever received in my life for my autism and I was so happy, literally thrilled. Happy flapping galore. Suddenly things made more sense, I felt more hopeful that with this kind of support I would be able to function a bit better.

But my younger sister (who really is wonderful, I don’t want this one experience to make her out to be horrible, she really is amazing) was in the room with my mum and she said:

‘Ma, don’t baby him, it’s offensive.’

And I cannot tell you how heavy my heart felt in that moment.

Something which, for me, was exactly what I needed to feel functional and to feel like an adult for once, was seen as babying by someone else, someone very important to me.

And I shakily explained over the phone that actually this was exactly what I needed, thank you for having my back but I don’t find this offensive I find it helpful. She apologised and she sounded mortified by her mistake, I felt bad for her honestly.

But since then I haven’t been able to bring myself to ask my mum for this kind of help again because it was seen as infantilising.

I try not to let people’s opinions get to me but, as I’m sure most people can agree, that’s fucking difficult. Especially when you’ve constantly been judged, mocked, and discredited by neurotypicals your whole life.

So yeah, don’t infantilise autistic people. Don’t call them an uwu precious littol bean. Don’t shrug off their ideas and emotions as unimportant. Definitely don’t feel sympathy for us for being autistic.

But if you see an autistic person being helped by someone they are close to such as a friend, family member, or carer, don’t call it out as being “infantilising”. Because in a lot of cases it’s not. It’s helping. You have no authority in labelling our support.

Neurotypicals please reblog but don’t add anything

Not sure why ADHD is trending on Twitter, but sure, here’s my big post about ADHD, because now it’s too long to be a Twitter thread (ADHD, amirite?):

ADHD has possibly THE most inaccurate name for a medical condition:

 Dysregulation of attention, not deficit. We focus MORE intensely than neurotypicals on things that have caught our attention, because our neurotransmitter receptors (e.g., dopamine) developed atypically. But we struggle with switching tasks, because of this.

Inattentive-type ADHD won’t be as obvious, because it’s not the “physically disruptive boy child” stereotype.

Yes, it is a real neurodevelopmental condition, and yes, the medical community knows what it is.

No, not everybody “is a little bit ADHD.” Saying that shows that you haven’t educated yourself about the condition.

It usually manifests very differently for women, & MANY medical professionals aren’t informed about that.

Letting a child’s ADHD go undiagnosed and untreated leads to a VERY high risk of adulthood co-morbid anxiety & depression.

Letting someone’s ADHD go undiagnosed also leads to VERY high risk of addiction, because addictive substances trigger a fast release of dopamine, and the reward centers of our brains desperately need dopamine to live a happy & fulfilling life.

Black kids are 70% less likely (and Latinx kids 50% less likely) to be diagnosed than their white peers, because the most noticeable behaviors are attributed to willful misbehaving defiance, as opposed to a neurological cause.

This contributes to higher suspension rates for Black and Latine/Latinx kids, and higher likelihood of entering juvenile detention systems.

The misdiagnosis-to-prison pipeline is very real, with some neuroscience studies estimating that 40% of inmates in the US have ADHD.

Stigmatizing pharmaceutical treatments is harmful, because it inhibits people from accessing treatment.

Stimulant medications do not affect people with ADHD the same way they do for neurotypicals. They have a calming and focusing effect on folks with ADHD (unless co-morbid anxiety, depression, or other co-morbid conditions interfere)

Many folks with ADHD struggle to even remember to take their meds, and the most commonly prescribed treatments now have a time-delay mechanism that helps limit the risk of addiction.

Getting diagnosed as an adult made me cry, out of relief. I finally had an explanation, & I could forgive myself.

I am perpetually hyper-aware of how “not normal” I am in social interactions. I go through life feeling like an alien, every day.

This can lead to a perpetual cycle of self-isolation and self-consciousness, along with other maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Many symptoms that occur with Autism can also occur with ADHD: sensory overload, hyper-fixation/hyperfocus, directness, rejection of societal norms, emotional dysregulation.

The reason people with ADHD seem like they make every conversation about themselves is because they are trying to make genuine connections with other humans and stay actively engaged in the topic. Anything else seems superficial, disingenuous, and meaningless. People with ADHD seek genuine connection, and we are trying very hard to make that connection with you.

As with Autism, people with ADHD frequently reject society-imposed notions of gender and sexuality. These societal constructs are fairly useless, frequently harmful, and honestly feel contrived, awkward, and silly. I’m not just making that up. There is a VERY high correlation between gender dysphoria and ADHD (as well as Autism).

The reason I have to write everything down is because my working memory basically doesn’t exist.

The reason we interrupt in conversation sometimes is because we literally won’t remember what we need to say by the time someone finishes talking.

I forget someone’s name before they even finish their sentence. There are a million other things happening in my brain as I am trying to navigate a social situation.

Folks with ADHD can struggle with “Information Retrieval,” which is ironic for me, considering my PhD research focus. The information is THERE, however, and if there is an external stimulus to trigger, my brain can access and retrieve the information that I have stored.

So many folks who have ADHD struggle when they are put on the spot, unexpectedly. They can’t just conjure something out of thin air, so none of their words come out right, and then they will feel like an imposter.

It’s not all bad stuff. The running joke is that people with ADHD don’t just “think outside of the box”…they throw the entire box out, and provide innovative solutions that many wouldn’t have considered.

ADHD is highly-correlated with innovation, entrepreneurship, physical accomplishment, and artistry (e.g., Bill Gates, Michael Phelps, Simone Biles, Jim Carrey, John Mulaney)

We have so many hobbies, hidden talents, and interests…and we’re VERY enthusiastic about ALL of them. They used to have a word for folks like that, and there’s a reason scientists have postulated that Leonardo da Vinci very likely had ADHD.