MEsS

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

Jonny Sims has such amazing vocal range. Going from a bitchy asexual to a naked perv with a Loch Ness Monster sex robot wife. Impeccable ✨️

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

scientist polycule call that a molecule

burrowing mammal polycule call that a molecule

not doin any of that mr ms mrs mx business . unfortunately i dont have a robust enough academic or medical background to be called doctor. but i could go by Mt. aka mount. aka mountain. the only thing you can glean from that is that im big as fuck

do you think dragons would have similar scales to sharks to reduce drag during flight.

Well, no. Dragons are classically scaly and everyone knows that sharks are perfectly smooth.

Sharks are perfectly smooth in all directions, I apologize.

IGUESs IKNOW NOW THAT SHARkS havE SCALES WHATTHEFUCK

Perfectly smooth i think you meant to say.

my bad sharks do not have scales that is a conspiracy by big scaly , which surely everyone is aware of. They are notoriously and scientifically proven to be as smooth as a recently oiled surface

Im glad all those ‘scaled shark’ conspiracy theories finally died out ^^