Miki's Library

You became silent after that question and looked at her in disbelief. Was it that hard for her to finally make a sacrifice for you?

Some days earlier your manager contacted you and announced possibly the greatest news of your entire streaming career, you were nominated for the category of most popular streamer in the first official awards show of your platform. Of course, competition would be fierce since you´ll be going against some of the top names in the industry, but the fact that you were nominated was already a blessing.

Now, you needed to go all the way across the Pacific, towards Los Angeles, the city in which the award ceremony and the after party will be held. International media will be there, since streaming has become somewhat mainstream as of lately, alongside some important sponsors, which some of them have already contacted your manager for future partnerships. This was the opportunity of a lifetime, not just because of the mere exposure, but also because you could gather more sponsorship deals to make even greater events.

So, the answer to her question would be a hard no, you can´t cancel it just because of an “important” party of one of her many famous friends you haven’t even been introduced to.

Apparently, some very influential people will be there, moreover, some producers have agreed to go to the party just to talk to Jennie about a project they have in their hands. Where do you fit in all of this? That´s right, nowhere. She could go on her own and then join you, since the party will also be in L.A., or she could hang out with you the day after and have an impromptu date, but she wanted you there, why? Maybe because she wants someone who she knows will be sober, all the while she abandons them to their luck…

You couldn’t deny how your heart got heavier when those puppy eyes awaited your answer. Then, many thoughts came to your mind, a lot of them catastrophic. What if something happens to her? What if she needs someone to take her home? She is a worldwide celebrity after all. But then, other type of thoughts came to your mind; why don’t she accompanies you? You could also take a plus one with you, and maybe you could introduce her to your friends, she would be safe there, and, if the producers want to talk with her, she can meet them the day after, you know, without four shots of tequila to cloud her judgement.

“Why don´t you come with me?” You gently grabbed her hands and put them to your chest. “I can´t cancel it Jennie, this is a great opportunity for me.”

“It´s a great opportunity for me too! And I want you there to celebrate!” Jennie took her hands away from you.

“Come on Jennie, you can meet the producers the day after the awards show, we can even skip the after party and meet them at the club before returning to the ―

“I don´t want to go to your stupid show!”

And that´s the final straw for you. You weren’t going to explode against her, or take your frustrations on her, but you were oh so very tired about this. Without any other reaction, you sighed as you saw the weight of her words dawning on her.

“That´s what you think? That it´s stupid?”

“No, love, I ―

“What do you even think about my job, Jennie?”

It wasn´t her answer, but rather, the lack of one that further hurt you.

Each time you were with your friends, you bragged about your girlfriend, the one and only Kim Jennie, member of BLACKPINK, Global Ambassador for Channel and Calvin Klein. Each time she got a new deal, a new song, a new anything, you would be there with a cake, a balloon and a gift, to celebrate with her, even when she got home past midnight. Each fucking time she wanted you there, in an awards show, in a fashion show, in an after-party of an event which gala you couldn´t go because it was ‘very exclusive’, you were there.

Where was she the first time you were banned of the platform because of a hater sending you an explicit photo through your Discord server? Where was she when you first reached ten thousand viewers? What about the fifty thousand? What about the viewer count record in Asia? Did her friends even know about your existence? About the status you held in her life?

“I´ll move out to my old apartment.” You don’t know where the bravado came from, but those words suddenly slipped out of your mouth.

You don’t just needed time, you needed space, you needed to get away from her because, suddenly, being around her felt as if you couldn´t breathe, not out of love, but out of anxiety. You became deaf to her words and her pleas, her words no longer mattered to you, her tears didn´t affect you anymore, you just wanted out of there.

It was if you were hypnotized for weeks on end, up until now. You sat in the front row of the event, in the area exclusive for streamers, your closest friends beside you, rooting for you, holding on to dear life to your shoulders as the host announced the category of the Most Popular Streamer.

When your name and your photo came on the big screen, you could hear the deafening screams of thousands of people in the audience screaming for you and laughing at the small compilation of clips they showed. And then, it happened, your name was mentioned as the winner of the category.

You can´t even remember the small walk from your place to the stage, nor can you remember the speech you gave, the only thing you remember is that you never mentioned her name, despite people wanting to know where she was when her partner was in the biggest point of their career.

Night had come around and you were left alone in your hotel room as you held the award in your hands. Your friends had just left the room after the small after-party you arranged, since none of you liked crowded places.

The trophy felt heavy in your hands. Finally, you had something to show everyone who ever doubted you how wrong they were; to your parents, to the false friends you met along the way, to her…

You left the trophy on the nightstand and took your phone from beside you on the bed, ready to browse through social media to interact with your fans. However, someone had other plans for you as your phone started ringing, showing a caller ID you hadn´t seen in some days.

You debated if you should answer or not, but then again, she was at a party; she was probably very drunk, but maybe she needed help getting back to her hotel room, and you were an idiot, or a good person, was there a difference at this point?

“Hello…” You said as you answered the call and only received a loud cry and a sob from the other line.

“(Y/NN)~.” She slurred your nickname. “I miss you!” Jennie shouted that last part and you got the phone away from your ear. “I love you~ Come back~ I´ll change!”

“Tell me you chose a designated driver.”

“No…”

“I´ll be there in ten minutes, do not drink another cup or shot!” You scolded her and hanged up the call.

With your phone in hand, you ran out of your room onto the room just in front of yours and knocked the door with all your might, hoping to wake up your friend. In a matter of seconds, your friend opened the door, somewhat drowsy and already in their pajamas.

“What the fuck ―

“I need you to give me a ride, fast.”

Sensing the urgency in your voice, they just nodded and ran into their room to pick up their wallet and keys before following you to the parking lot.

“Where to?”

They asked and you told them the place Jennie was. They didn´t even questioned why you needed to go there, or cared about how uncomfortable driving with crocs was. You needed to go somewhere, and they´ll take you there, even if you were going to the end of the world, they´ll be there; you couldn´t help to wish that Jennie was like that too.

By the time you got there, Jennie was apparently waiting for you, since, as soon as you jumped out of your friend´s car, Jennie got out of the club and onto your arms. Her friends were just following behind her, apparently in a better state than Jennie.

“Thanks for taking care of her.” You said, with irony of course, and that´s how you knew how drunk they were since they didn´t catch your tone. “Come on, I´ll take you ―

Suddenly, Jennie threw up the expensive clothes you wore to the show. You pulled her away from you and saw that you were indeed covered in her vomit and sighed. However, you had a job to do, and that was getting Jennie out of here before any paparazzi show up and see her in this state.

You exclaimed thousands of apologies as you got into your friend´s car backseat, trying your best to not dirty their seats. Your friend only looked at you with a feigned hatred and opened the windows to let the acidic smell out of the car before accelerating.

You told them to go back towards your hotel since Jennie would need someone to take care the next morning, and you needed a change of clothes. Fortunately, the ride back was peaceful, so peaceful that Jennie fell asleep on your shoulder, further dirtying you since she hadn´t cleaned her mouth, but at this point you knew you were going to shower and throw these clothes away.

When you arrived, you carried it to your room and thanked your friend, promising to invite them the most expensive dinner you could afford. You forced Jennie to wake up and took her to the bathroom; you helped cleaning her face, getting her make-up off and washing her teeth to get the taste off. You helped her change her clothes and stopped her from hugging you since you were still stained by what you assumed was barely digested tequila.

After you put her to sleep on your bed, it was your turn to clean yourself up. A nice warm shower and a new pair of clothes later, you laid down beside Jennie, knowing the next day will be a difficult one.

When Jennie first woke up and saw that she wasn´t in her room, she panicked and looked around, thinking someone had kidnapped her, but to her relief she discovered she wasn´t when she looked at the award you left in your nightstand. Then, she looked down and saw she was wearing your clothes, your distinctive smell filled her nostrils and made her feel safe again. Although, not a second later, a big headache attacked her and her stomach started churning up.

She ran to the bathroom and knelt in front of the WC, immediately emptying her stomach of whatever mixture of alcohol she drank. While she was throwing up, she felt a pair of hands holding her hair up and rubbing her back. She would have turned around and hugged you, but her stomach still needed to let some contents go.

When she finished throwing up, you helped her to her feet and moved her to the sink to help her clean her mouth and brush her teeth to get any remains off. Then, you guided her back to the bed as she saw a serum and some recently bought pills on the nightstand next to the award.

You helped her lying down on the bed and knelt beside it. “I guess you had a wild party last night” You tried to joke as you got the serum and opened it. “I´ll give you a serum first and some pills for the nausea, after that we´ll see about getting some light food for you to take medicine for your headache” You got a nausea pill out of its box and helped Jennie to sit up. “Open” She did as told and opened her mouth before you popped the pill inside of it, afterwards, you guided the serum to her lips, helping her drink the pill down.

Ever since the day you moved out, she regretted so many things. How she treated you, all the words she didn´t hold up to, all the moments she missed with you. She wished it hadn´t taken losing you to make her realize all of that, but she can´t turn back time, all she could do is to try to make things right.

Jisoo

“My Queen…” You spoke in a formal way, loud enough for your voice to echo around the throne room. “A messenger from the Kingdom of Ostral has arrived.”

At your voice, Jisoo sat straight on her throne, her simple figure and posture drawing the respect and the attention every Queen should. As you looked at her and walked to be besides her, with your heart full of how proud you feel about her, the messenger walked to be just a few steps in front of Jisoo, holding an envelope in her hands.

“Greetings, most benevolent Queen of Kora and Duchess of Soul and Busen, Queen Kim Jisoo.” The messenger bowed down. “I come in the name of my respectable liege, Queen Roseanne Park of Ostral and Duchess of Canberr, in order to make a formal invitation for a summit of the Four Pearls of the Sea”

Jisoo stood in silence for a few moments. “Queen Roseanne Park? Daughter to the Emperor Mason Clarke?” The messenger nodded with a smile.

“Indeed, my loving liege is searching to reestablish what was once a powerful alliance, lost to the time because of minor disagreements.”

“Threatening for war is not a minor disagreement.” Jisoo immediately retorted. “Tell me, what does Queen Roseanne think that my kingdom would benefit from this reestablishment of our alliance?”

“My liege is aware of what our past Emperor did, and she sends her apologies in the way of the most beautiful flowers of her personal garden that will decorate the halls of your castle.” As the messenger talked, Jisoo looked towards you, to which you nodded, confirming what the messenger was claiming. “And about your question, the past alliance made all of our nations to flourish in unimaginable ways, connecting our cultures and giving our citizens the safest region they could ever imagine, my liege aims to bring that back, Queen Jisoo.”

When the messenger stopped talking, an almost unbearable silence made its presence in the throne room in expectancy of the Queen´s decision. “(Y/N), what do you think?”

You look surprised at Jisoo, whose gaze fell upon you, not in an intimidating way, but in a seeking gaze, one that craved, in a subtle way, for an answer. “If I may, my Queen.” You looked towards the messenger, remembering whatever you could from your childhood, specifically, about the event that caused the rupture of a once very powerful alliance. “While it is true Emperor Mason Clarke threatened to take his armies into the territory of the rest of the members, our past monarch, King Kim Ha-Joon, did block numerous amounts of merchandise to be imported from the alliance and failed to keep his exporting promises prior to King Mason´s threat; that without mentioning the actions of Queen Chitthip Bruschweiler and King Kim Dae-Jung took that further weakened the relationship” You returned your eyes towards Jisoo, who was carefully listening to your speech. “In my opinion, your Highness, one or the other isn’t to blame, everyone played a part in the dissolution of the alliance; and what the messenger claims is true, the alliance gave nothing but prosperity while it held strong; I don´t see why it would change now if the four members agree to reestablish it.”

Jisoo nodded and returned her gaze to the messenger. “Then, it´s decided, I will gladly accept the invitation.” Jisoo extended her hand and the messenger hurried to give the envelope she held towards the Queen. “I hope Queen Roseanne won´t mind about bringing my future spouse with me.”

At her last phrase, you were left in the shock, as in a bucket full of ice and water ws just poured onto your head.

“Of course, she wouldn’t mind Queen Jisoo, however, I would have to write the name of your partner, just so my liege and the guards can be prepared to receive the future royal couple.” Jisoo smiled at her while you looked at the ground with a heavy heart.

“Their name is (Y/N) (Y/LN).” As Jisoo´s words left her mouth, you looked at her and crossed eyes, a slight smile accompanied by a small blush adorned her expression, while you just smiled after a few seconds. At the sign of your acceptance, Jisoo looked back at the messenger. “I will write their name in a formal letter I ask of you to deliver to your Queen, if you´d be so kind.”

“Of course, Queen Jisoo.”

“Then, you may leave.”

The messenger gave a bow before abandoning the room, leaving you and Jisoo alone. Oddly enough, none of you talked after that, as if no words were needed. Jisoo just looked at you and you looked back at those sparkling eyes you grew to love over the years before she delicately grabbed your hands with hers, as if she was afraid you were going to let go, but all the contrary, you intertwined your fingers with her, waiting for the next royal visit of today.

Jennie

War has ended, not in completely peaceful way, as you and Jennie would have wanted it, but finally, Zeland was united once again under the Kim Dinasty.

After the battle in which you were injured, that would be written in the history books as the Siege of Hestings, the remaining Kingdom of Ockland, seeing the military power the Queen Jennie held, invited her on a negotiation in search of peace. However, Jennie wouldn´t back down on her efforts to finally unite the long-forgotten empire that once ruled the land, but instead of threatening for war, she offered to take them as vassals; power in Ockland would be left almost untouched, and the government could stay as it was, if they swear fealty to her. To Ockland, it sounded more of a threat than an offer; bend the knee or be conquered, so they accepted it.

Ever since then, things changed for the better. The capital of the Empire was positioned back at the City of Lington, as it was before the Day of Separation, 150 years ago. As all the lands were under her hand, Jennie became a mighty Empress and peace was once again restored; all the while you were recovering from your injuries.

Now, feeling so much better, you were taking a much-needed free time from the army. You needed to organize your thoughts and your feelings, which ever since the day Jennie visited you in your room and cried beside you. From that moment onwards, somehow, the world seemed to be brighter, but in turn, the things that had sense suddenly felt illogical, either that, or you never really thought about it before.

You felt like a human, not a sword or a shield, but a person, and it felt weird. Freedom was a thing you never sought, but now you had it. If you wanted, you could resign the army right here and now and dedicate your life to planting potatoes or living rough in the forests, but somehow, that didn’t feel like an option.

“I finally found you.” Jennie said as she stood behind you. You turned around, surprised that you didn’t hear her exiting from the hatch that connected the top of the tower to its interior. “Admiring the view?”

“Yes, my Empress.” You answered before returning your view further from the wall of Lington.

“I’ve told you to not call me that while we are alone” She walked and stood beside you as her eyes scanned the sea that separated both of the islands that conform the Empire. “And I know you are not just admiring the view, something is bothering you” Her eyes softly gazed upon the side of your face. “Am I wrong?”

“You are not.” Your eyes fixed on the sunset shining on the calm waters as Jennie put a hand to your back and softly caressed it over your clothes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You thought for some seconds and nodded.

“Ever since I’ve been alive, all I knew was war, blood, metal… I was taught to serve you, to fulfill your every desire, even if it meant that a sea of blood would flow down the streets of whatever city your heart desired to conquer, and now, although we´ve won, I still feel as if something isn’t complete” You sighed. “I guess I… I don’t know what to do and it´s scary.”

Jennie listened carefully to each word you told her and felt relieved at the fact that you were willing to share your torment with her. “My father used to say that a mind in darkness meant that we were afraid to shine a light in it.”

“I’ve told you I only know weapons, not sweet words.” You said in a joking manner which made Jennie to giggle before, without thinking, she held your hand and rose it up to her chest, which in turn caught your undivided attention.

“That means that, whenever you feel lost, it´s because you are afraid to look at what’s truly going on, around you and inside you.” Her words, somehow, gave you a sense of relief as your eyes met hers in a rewarding gaze. “And I know you are very short-minded when it comes to feelings and such, but trust me that I will do everything in my power to ―

And a kiss brought silence between both of you. With care, you held her cheek as you met your lips with hers; you felt that was your answer, which you needed to do before thinking about your next move, unfortunately though, you didn’t think much about how to do it and when that thought crossed your mind, you attempted to broke the kiss, but your Empress didn’t allow you to.

She held onto your nape and pulled you closer to her as she guided your hand to her waist.

Unknowingly to you, historians wouldn’t mark the Siege of Hestings nor the Pact of Ockland as the beginning of a new era, but rather, they would do so with what came to be known as the Kiss of Lington; the renaissance of a prosperous Empire of Zeland.

Rosé

TW: Sex shaming.

A rose has thorns, and you had to re-learn that the bad way. You had grown closer with your Queen, maybe more than she would have liked at this time. So, in one of your many lunch gatherings at the private garden, you confessed to her that you had a relationship in the past.

You don’t even remember how that topic surfaced, but you told her the entire story. This person you dated; you met them when you were just a teenager. Their parents were merchants that would weekly meet with yours in search of product to buy, that´s how your family survived after all. Unknowingly to you, Roseanne wasn´t liking the story you were telling with somehow of a yearning smile, but you didn´t notice that and continued talking about that past love of yours. You even told her about how you used to talk about marriage, much to her disgust, but even so, she resisted her jealous fit, up until a sentence changed it all.

“I delivered myself completely to them, mind and body, but then ―

And she didn’t let you finish. She stood from her chair and started berating you and yelling at you at how you weren’t pure and how you should be ashamed of having sex before marrying, amongst other hurtful things. Practically, she released all of her upbringing her parents gave her right onto you before she walked away from you.

Now, here you were, in the middle of the private garden, days later. You still cared for the flowers with the best of your abilities while also keeping your mind away from her words. Her words hurt you, to unimaginable ways, but then again, you were a servant and unfortunately, she wasn’t the first nor will she be the last to berate you. However, you just wish that whatever punishment she had for you would come quick, instead of making you wait for days.

Maybe she would just fire you, or maybe she would just burn the gardens before firing you, or maybe a physical form of punishment will arrive…

You sighed and cleaned your dirty hands on your clothes; maybe, you should have never thought of Roseanne as a friend, let alone as a possible partner, she is a Queen and you are a servant.

Having finished for today, you turned around, ready to exit the gardens, but as soon as did so, Roseanne was there, right at the entrance of the garden, her eyes digging holes in yours.

You bowed your head and stood frozen in your place, ready for whatever punishment she had for you; your heart started beating hundreds of beats per minute and you felt like vomiting right on the spot, but you couldn’t let yourself to do that, unless you wanted the punishment to be harsher.

Roseanne walked towards you as you held your head low, the click of her heels putting you more into your nerves. Then again, you wished that it would just be over. You closed your eyes in order to cope with the fear channeling into your body, you were prepared for anything she had in mind… Or almost anything.

Your eyes shot open as you felt her hands softly grasping onto yours and looked at the figure of Roseanne, the powerful Queen of Ostral, with both knees on the floor, with no care in the world for the fact that her dress was being tainted with dirt.

Her eyes started to tear, and her lips started to quiver, but still, she did her best to look right into your eyes. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N)…” Even if she sobbed, even if her nose started to run, her eyes never abandoned you. “…Please, I beg of you, forgive for the words I said and for the hurt I caused, I don’t know what got into me… I…” You could see her struggle to find the correct words to say, but you were still so shocked at what was happening that you couldn’t act upon it. “…I… Just the thought of you being with another person… in that way and many other ways… I couldn’t stand it and acted so unfair towards you… I just wished that I would have been in their place… the first one to kiss you… the first one to love you as you deserved… and I couldn’t stand otherwise… I…”

“They were just using me.” You interrupted her, wanting to finish the story you couldn’t because of her outrage. “After we bedded, they never returned… Their parents talked to mine and told them what happened between us, apologizing because they knew their child was a piece of work but that they thought they found in me something that could make them better; turns out, I was another one of their many experiences.” As you remembered that hurtful situation, you couldn’t help but to tighten your grip on her hands. “So, no, don’t ever wish to be in their place, because they hurt me much more than any word could.” You tug her hands upwards and helped Roseanne to be on her feet. “But I will not grant you my forgiveness.” Roseanne’s heart break at your words but she found comfort again when your hand caressed her cheek. “I’m afraid you will have to win that over time.”

She quickly nodded and hugged you immediately afterwards. She would show you that she can be better and that she can love you as much as you deserve it, but first, something had to be formalized. “May I court you in the meanwhile?” She asked in a whisper so soft that the wind could have easily take it away, but you heard her crystal clear.

“You may, my Queen.”

Lisa

“One, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three.” Lalisa kept those words in repetition as she danced with you in her personal practice hall.

With your hands intertwined, one of hers on your shoulder and one of yours in her thin waist, you danced around to the absence of any music and the soft light of the moon shone through the windows. Lalisa’s long pajamas flowed gracefully with your movements and the sound of your boots echoed through the floor of the hall. She had tried to convince you to wear any other thing other than your uniform, but you kept rejecting her advice.

By now, some weeks later after you first danced with her, she kept pestering you about your uniform, but she was still happy that you constantly accepted her invitations to dance despite your grumpy attitude.

Meanwhile, you’ve grown accustomed to see the Queen in an aspect only her mirror should be allowed to. Of course, you were somehow fearful of having grown to close towards her; you would even say that she’s the closest person you had ever since you were a kid, and that’s saying something. Your mind, one of a soldier, told you that you were playing a dangerous game. Liking the Queen, in the way you did, was an impediment to your labor as the Commander of the Royal Guard, but you couldn’t help it.

Your mentors and your teachers would be berating you, punching you, kicking you, hurting you, if they ever see you like this. They did their best to taught you to separate your mind from your heart, to think rationally rather than being a suicidal warrior jumping headfirst into battle; to the Queen, you were more useful alive rather than dead.

Still, here you were, she broke down your whole training with just her smile. Who would have said that the best warrior in the realm would be defeated by the mere presence of the monarch?

“You’ve gotten better.” Lalisa smiled at you as both of you kept dancing, to what you stood silent. “You and your grumpy attitude, you need to let your hair down!”

“I can’t, my ―

“Lisa.”

“I can’t, Lisa” You sighed after you had to correct yourself yet again. “It is my job to protect you at all times.”

“But you are protecting me” Lalisa stopped dancing and stood away from you. “With you in here, I dare any person to step in here and try to touch me, because I know they’ll fall dead onto the floor in less than five seconds.” You stood silent once again and looked towards the sword hanging from your waist, yet another thing Lisa wanted you to let go of while dancing. “You are my best soldier, and my most trusted person in the palace, even if the world was ending, I know, somehow, you’ll find a way to make me escape unscathed.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that when my mind isn’t focused.” Lalisa leaned her head on her side and tried to meet your gaze, but you were still looking at your sword.

“Why aren’t you focused?” When Lalisa became impatient, she grabbed your chin and made you look at her in the eyes. For the first time ever, she saw a glimpse of doubt in yours. “Answer me.”

You inhaled deeply. “Because you are in front of me.”

Lalisa became silent at your words, up until her mind processed what you meant by that, making her cheeks go into a little tint of red. With a fearful heart, she slowly moved her hand to your cheek and caressed your cheekbone. You wanted to explain more of your feelings, you really did, but the words simply wouldn’t leave your mouth, but the way you leaned into her touch gave Lalisa all the answers she needed for now.

Jisoo

As you walked through the halls of the hallways of the castle, you couldn’t stop yourself from remembering how all has changed. You were a grown-up and the official personal servant for Your Majesty, Queen Jisoo.

Ever since she stepped up to the maximum position in the realm, she made sure to make some changes to it, up until she practically remodeled how everything looked. Jisoo built gardens, fountains and many places for the people to gather, such as parks and marketplaces, she also ordered to repaint a lot of the royal buildings, passing from the monotone grey to a brighter white tone.

Those changes also impacted the insides and outsides of the castle. What once was a place that inspired fear became a place that inspired security, coziness, something you thanked for. You remember getting lost in these hallways, running away from the now Queen as she insisted on playing hide-and-seek. How the darkness engulfed you, how the steps of the patrolling guards put you on your nerves, how you sometimes felt prisoner of the royal family; but then, she would appear, smile at you and tell you that it was her turn to hide now.

She was always gentle with you and treated you as an equal, unlike her parents.

It was then when you decided to look through one of the windows and noticed Jisoo running around exterior of the castle, still in her royal dress but without any care in the world if it got dirty or not. She was playing tag with some of the kids of the servants that worked for the royal family. To think that in just some hours she would put on a façade to receive a diplomat from one of your neighboring kingdoms made you smile.

You put that thought aside and continued walking until you exited the castle, about to go into town in search of a new board game you heard a foreigner merchant just brought with them, maybe Jisoo would like it. That was until a hand gently touched your shoulder, prompting you to look to your side, seeing the bright smile of the Queen.

“You´re it!”

After all this time, everything but her has changed. She was still this crazy woman that just wanted to have fun, to be happy. In that short moment in which you were processing that you were now forced to play with her, you came to a realization.

You were part of her happiness, and she was part of yours too.

Jennie

TW: Strong language, mentions of war, fighting, blood and injuries

“General (Y/N) got injured”

Those words kept repeating on her head as she ran to your room. How dare the doctor follow your orders to hide that fact from her as much as he could?! And how dare you wanted to keep it a secret from her?!

When she sent you off to conquer the enemy’s capital and finish the war, she asked only one thing from you: Be safe. Now she hears you weren’t just in the battlefield managing your troops, but also in the frontlines putting yourself more in danger?!

She was glad you didn’t die, so she could kill you herself.

“You better have a good excuse for keeping this a secret!” She exclaimed as she barged into your room. You immediately sat up in your bed, deciding that the fear of an angry Queen was way worse than the pain you were feeling in your stomach.

“We won” You said in a low tone and small smile, trying to convince her to be merciful with you.

“I could care less if we won or not! I asked you one thing (Y/N)! Just one! And you said you would!” Jennie got closer to your bed, her eyes slowly filling up with tears. “Is your word worth nothing?! Does my feelings mean nothing to you?!”

“My Queen-

“Shut up!” When Jennie was beside your bed, she knelt and gently grabbed your hand. “Just shut up”

As the soldier you were, you followed her orders and resisted the urge to argue back. You were an extension of the royal family, that was what your parents told you when you were training with them, a mean to an end, if you were to die following orders of the royal family, it was an honor. Your father, the marshal and your mother, the army strategist, made sure to engrave those ideals by fire into your brain.

As long as you live, you’ll only be a weapon for the Kim Dynasty, rightful rulers of the divided land known as Zeland. Then, why was the Queen crying into your hand? Crying for someone that was equal to a plain sword?

“Jennie” You dared to speak up, your other hand reaching to caress her head, trying to calm her down. “My health means nothing if I can fulfill your will”

“For me it does!” Jennie raised her head forcing you take your hand off her, her eyes red and puffy from crying looked into yours. “I prefer to be disposed of my crown rather than losing you!”

You wanted to think that she was only exaggerating, but it was impossible by the way those eyes didn’t falter at her statement.

Why show such concern for you when nobody has done it since the death of your parents?

In that moment you dared to caress her cheek with your free hand as she received the display of affection, going to a point in which she leaned just a tiny bit into your hand, not wanting to surrender her anger and frustration.

“I’m so sorry, My Queen”

Rosé

With doubt in her mind, Roseanne walked towards the new section of the castle gardens with a flowerpot, a red rose standing tall over the dirt on it. During these months, she has been learning how to properly grow a flower, just from looking at you preparing the ground for the new flowers to blossom into their vivid colors.

This new section of the garden was only reserved for you and her, as it was her orders, while the old section was re-opened to the public after twenty years. She named you her ‘personal gardener’, a new title she created just for you to be able to take care of the reserved section and to manage the new gardeners she hired to maintain the old garden.

She already had plans for this new reserved section, she wanted to receive very important diplomatic visits there, even thinking about restoring the lost connection between their closest kingdoms, but not before having a date with you.

Roseanne has maintained her silence for far too long, she wanted you to be hers, and only hers, imagining you with a crown on your head and a throne beside her, ruling as equals.

As she entered the reserved section through the ark that was built to divide it from the rest of the ground, saluting the guards protecting this section, her surroundings were covered by a dense section of trees as she continued travelling through the stone path. Suddenly, those trees opened into a clearing, in which you were, tending the garden.

The new private garden was full of red and pinks roses, per the Queen’s request, and even added some black roses for contrast. In the middle of the garden, a gazebo complemented the look with a tea table in it, for when Rosé wanted to be alone, or alone with someone. It looked like a description of a fantasy book, a part of the world irradiating so much magic that it was hard to think she was awake. The roses were shining as if they could irradiate their own light and the vivid colors alongside the faint aroma of roses made the Queen to immediately lower her guard and enjoy the relaxation it brought.

However, that relaxation was short-lived as she now remembered that she wanted to give you the rose she has been taking care of for months, but now she felt insecure about it. Compared to the roses in the garden, the one she grew didn’t have such colors or presence, it was healthy, but it was not radiating.

She wanted to run away, to throw the flower and start again, until you finally noticed her presence and immediately stood up to bow at her. “Queen Roseanne, good afternoon” Rosé looked silently at you, while your eyes looked at the rose she held between her hands. “May I be of service?”

“This rose…” Her voice was insecure, almost trembling, as she extended the rose towards you.

With her sentence incomplete you got closer to her and eyed the rose once you were in front of the Queen. “It looks beautiful, My Queen” You gently took the flowerpot from her hands as you inspected each part of the rose. Meanwhile, Roseanne smiled at you, hope returning to her body as she processed your words. “It looks so healthy Your Majesty, and…” You closed your eyes as you smelled the rose, a smile showing on your lips. “…Smells delightfully” You looked at your Queen, her expression radiating happiness. “Should I put it on the center of the tea table? I’m sure it will add the master touch to your garden, My Queen”

“It’s for you” Roseanne doesn´t know from where that confidence came from, but she didn’t care. To grow this single rose took a lot of space in her mind for months, thinking about its final purpose, to be given to you. “I learnt to take care of a flower from you, so I did, because I wanted to give you one”

You were surprised and your face showed it. You then looked back at the rose as your heart started to beat faster and faster. She grew a rose, just for you, does that mean?

It can’t be…

With your mind full of doubts, only one thing was certain when you looked back at her.

“It’s so beautiful My Queen, thank you”

You fell in love with her.

Lisa

TW: Mentions of massacre and death

“Do you where the Queen is?”

“I saw her entering the practice dance hall”

As you said your thanks, you walked towards the said place, papers in your hand reporting the progress made in the training of the royal guard. It has been a rough time but you could finally see some progress, at least they are showing more discipline, even if they still are too weak compared to how strong they are supposed to be.

Your relationship with Queen Lisa has gotten better too. You’ve tried to not hold grudges towards her because of her taking you off from the action to train a bunc of incompetent soldiers and talk to her as you would normally do with any other person. You didn’t care about crowns, gold, or titles, you didn’t even care if Lisa was a Queen or not, as long as she took care of her kingdom and procure the best for her people, as her obligations are, you will have no complaints about her.

It has, however, been sometimes uncomfortable. Queen Lalisa has opened a little too much towards you, much more than what you expected to, but that was not the uncomfortable part, it was when she asked about your past when it became uncomfortable.

How the previous monarch neglected your village and left everyone you knew as a child to starve on their own, how the guards were retired from their posts and your village was left to defend on their own against bandits, how you managed to escape the fire and fighting leaving behind those who you once loved…

Of course, you never told her anything nor will you blame her for her parents actions, not while she treated you with respect and showed true interest in bringing her kingdom the prosperity it once had.

You sighed before you opened the door to the dance hall where the Queen liked to practice, so lost in your mind that you forgot to knock and ask for permission to enter, an action you regretted.

There she was, not in her normal dress but in one that was a lot lighter, only wearing an off the shoulder white dress that just left her bare feet discovered because of its length, her hair not as fixed and with no make-up on.

You just saw the Queen in a way only her closest servants are allowed to do so as per the previous monarchs' request, the thoughts of you being sent into the dungeon filled your head as you already could see the end of your military career.

When Lalisa looked at you, she actually thought nothing of it, she actually seemed comfortable with looking at her current appearance. “Commander (Y/N), do you need something?”

“I’m so sorry for intruding Your Majesty, I’ll receive any punishment you might think acceptable” You bowed down making Lisa giggle at the ridiculousness of your actions.

“I don’t mind if it’s you Commander (Y/N)” She walked towards you and pulled you fully into the hall, closing the door behind you. “My dancing teacher couldn’t make it today and I was practicing alone, hence my current appearance” She looked at the papers in your hands. “Something to report?”

“Only the routinary documents, Queen Lalisa” Lisa took the documents from your hands and eyed them before carefully laying them on the floor beside her.

“Say, Commander, do know how to dance?” As she asked, Lisa walked to the center of the hall.

“Just the basics, Queen-

“Drop the Queen, just call me Lisa” She extended her hand towards you. “Could you practice with me, (Y/N)?”

You didn’t know what it was, maybe the informality of it all or the privacy you both had in the dancing hall, but you walked towards her and accepted her invitation to dace. As you held her hand, she grabbed your other arm and posed it on her waist for then posing her free hand on your shoulder.

From the first second, she guided the dance and marked the pace you should follow. You wondered how with no music this dance felt so real. Your entire body felt so relaxed, as if all your obligations and expectations went away, yet so tense since you wanted this dance to be perfect.

So, here you were, just ending stream, looking up to the roof of your studio still sat at your desk, with a juice box in your hand. You were afraid of going into your cellphone and opening social media as you sometimes did after finishing your job. What if your lie wasn’t believable enough? What if people start hating on her?

Just then, your phone started to ring from a corner of your desk. You immediately went to grab it, wanting to return to the calm silence you had.

“Hello?” You said questioningly since you didn’t even bother to look at the caller id.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jisoo’s voice came from the other side of the line.

When Jennie introduced you to the girls, you didn’t expect that in between them you’d find a new best friend in the form of Jisoo. With similar interests, you instantly clicked and began talking more and more, to the point that Jisoo had you in the same esteem in which she held the girls. She knew you and trusted you, the same way you did with her, so you told her what happened, since the beginning.

How excited you were, how happy you were sharing this part of her life with your girlfriend and how that fantasy immediately came crashing down after her words last night. You just vented out to her, like every other time.

“You really need to tell her how you feel” She would always say and this was time was not the exception. Jisoo hated how you hid your feelings from Jennie just because you didn’t want to bother her. You think you don’t deserve Jennie, that an idol dating a streamer was a miracle hanging up on the tiniest of threads, you didn’t want to lose her.

Jisoo however, felt differently, she sometimes thought that it was Jennie who didn’t deserve you, all the while she thought you were kind of stupid. It was a situation in which both of her best friends were in the wrong, but that if she tried to fix it herself, things would result in even worse consequences.

So, after saying your goodbyes to each other and her looking at the lost calls she received while she was playing her game with your stream on the background, she got up to the main door of her home at the incessant ringing that disturbed her.

And there she was, on the other side of the door, someone she just didn’t want to see in this moment, accompanied by other two members of her group.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” Jennie asked with a smile as she made her way into the apartment while the other two followed her, the three of them carrying bags of snacks.

“We wanted to ask you which kind of snack you wanted for this improvised girl’s night” Roseanne said while they left the bags on Jisoo’s living room while the latter closed the door and stared at the three of them.

“It was my idea! It’s been so long since we’ve enjoyed one!” Lisa exclaimed and got comfortable, as the other two were doing.

“But apparently, you aren’t all up for it” Jennie pointed out at Jisoo’s lack of excitement or emotion.

What to do? What to do?

Jisoo debated while she looked at her group members in her living room. She was itching to have a serious talk with Jennie, but she didn’t want to get Lisa or Rosé involved. She could play it safe and bite her tongue or…

“I just got off the phone with (Y/N), they looked off while on stream, did something happen?” She could play it in a way that Jennie admits what she’s done, all the while she could actually look what the second oldest thought of it.

“Oh” Jennie just muttered, while Lisa and Rosé looked at her. “I told them that I didn’t enjoy streaming with them”

“Did (Y/N) actually get sad because of it?” Lisa questioned while Roseanne looked a little bit let down.

“But you looked so cute together!” Rosé exclaimed.

“I know, but I just didn’t like streaming, I didn’t actually expect (Y/N) to be that sad because of it, I’m sure they have more plans on what to do on their streams without me” Jennie answered while scratching her arm.

“Of course (Y/N)’s gonna be sad, this was an opportunity for them to share what they loved with you, and you just said you didn’t like it” Jisoo started to scold Jennie, surprising the three members. “You do know how much (Y/N) has done for you, right? When you two announced you were dating, they moved heaven and earth to try to absorb all the hate just so you didn’t worry about it; when you dragged (Y/N) for some parts of our tour, they withstood their fear of flying while you slept; when you dragged them to parties, they´d try to keep up with you, trying to have your attention to no avail while you just talked with other people and kissed one of your friends in front of them because of a dare!” Lalisa and Roseanne looked at Jennie, waiting for her to start arguing back but she was lost at words, which prompted Jisoo to continue. “And after they told you what you did and how that made them feel, you go and do it again months later, in their birthday! It went up to a point that they actually started to drink in secret trying to at least tolerate alcohol, do you even know that they almost started smoking because some of your friends did and (Y/N) thought you found that mature and interesting?! And the only thing they actually wanted to drag you with them, you just turned around and said you didn’t like it!” Jisoo didn’t intend to blame it on Jennie, because she thought you were also at fault for not talking about what thought, but the heat of the moment made her sound like it.

“H-How did you know?” That was all Jennie had to say.

-

You would have stayed at your studio for the rest of your day, but you thought Jennie was going to come back any minute, so here you were, in the kitchen heating the dinner she left last night.

Lost in your thoughts, wondering what to do to make your viewers forget what happened. They weren’t happy, but at least the weren’t angry at Jennie, they understood just how busy can idol life get and how her job can become hectic from one day to another, at least that’s the excuse you used. The problem laid on how to keep them from asking for Jennie again when she goes on a rest after her next real work period.

Your mind went all around all kinds of ideas, so desperate for a solution that you didn’t notice your girlfriend getting home, up until she hugged you from your back.

You jumped at the touch, but relaxed when that smell of Chanel got to you. “Don’t scare me like that” You smiled at her sudden presence, but she didn’t answer.

You didn’t know where she was, or what she was doing, so you honestly had no idea about the reason for her silence, but you didn’t question it, waiting for her to bring it up.

“I’m heating up yesterday’s dinner” You mentioned, trying to make small talk but with no avail.

“I love you” That sweet whisper made butterflies to fly wild in your stomach, so soft was her tone and so warm was her touch that it made you remember your first ‘I love you’

“And I love you too” Her hug got a little bit tighter without hurting you, just wanting to keep you as close as possible.

“I saw your stream today, I’m sorry if I let you down” She lied, not wanting to mention how Jisoo scolded her earlier. “I’ll try to be a better girlfriend from now on”

Those words got you spinning around to look at her, cupping her face with your hands. “Don’t say that, you are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for” Your thumbs caressed her cheeks as both of your eyes meet. “You don’t have to force yourself”

“Still, I want to be more considerate of you, and share more things with you” She seemed nervous saying that, but that smile of yours was more than enough of a reassurance that she knew you both were alright.

“And I’ll gladly share them with you” You got closer to her, leaning into her as she did the same. “I’d do everything for you”

And as your lips touched, you both conveyed what your feelings were, hoping the other would share them.

Nothing could separate you.

Not even a message notification from your phone.

“I’m going out with Lisa today” She showed you a tight-lipped smile trying to ease the mood.

“Okay… I’ll just say to my viewers that your company called last minute” Jennie nodded and made a kissy face your way.

“I’ll be going then!” And just as if nothing rare just happen, she exited your home leaving you with a lot of thoughts on your head.

Why did she didn’t tell you about going out?

Well, you didn’t tell her your wanted to play again with her today, so you guessed it was your fault then.

But still, why did she want to hide it?

You shook your head before you spiraled down onto an abyss of negative thoughts and distrust, especially when she didn’t deserve to be doubted, she hasn’t done anything wrong, not recently.

You sighed and just returned to your set-up to continue streaming, thinking on your back-up plan.

-

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Lisa asked as she sipped on her coffee.

“It’s about (Y/N)” Jennie sighed as she looked around the expensive coffee shop she chose just to have a casual conversation with her group’s youngest. Then she returned her sight to Lisa, who just remained in silence waiting for Jennie to be prepared to talk. “I didn’t quite liked being on stream with them”

“Does (Y/N) know?” Jennie shook her head. “Are you planning on telling them?” Jennie shrugged her shoulders. “You know (Y/N) is not going to be mad at you, right?”

“I don’t think so, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings”

“I’m sure they will understand it, (Y/N) has never forced you to do something you weren’t comfortable with”

“I know, but (Y/N) looked so happy to share that part of their life with me”

“But that also means you are unhappy” Jennie remained silent as she sipped on her own coffee. “Just tell them what you think, what could possibly go wrong?”

-

What was supposed to only hang out at a coffee ended in a movie marathon at Lisa’s place, thus resulting in Jennie getting back home around 10 PM, and of course, you had already prepared dinner for her.

That’s when she thought about checking her phone and saw the messages you sent but she never read since she was just enjoying the movie with her friend.

Thing is, she already had dinner with Lisa, so she just saved everything in the fridge and back at the drawers, but something caught her eye. While saving the silverware, she opened the wrong drawer and saw a bottle of tequila. Now, this was weird because of several reasons, these being that number one, there was a designated space for alcohol in your home; number two, most of the alcohol there is, was Jennie’s choosing; number three, you didn’t like strong alcohol, and even avoided drinking unless the occasion called for it, and still you drank light drinks since you hated the feeling of being wasted.

Jennie took the bottle from the drawer and inspected it. It was Jennie’s preferred tequila, the bottle was open and just a tiny bit of its content was missing, so she could forget about those thoughts that started to invade her mind.

Why would you be hiding it?

When she heard a pair of footsteps getting closer, she immediately saved the bottle back where it was and proceeded to save the rest of the silverware acting as if nothing had happened.

“Welcome back home love” You said as you stepped into the kitchen, where Jennie was. “How long have you been here? Have you already eaten?”

“I just arrived, and I ate dinner with Lisa, so I’m saving it for tomorrow”

“Got it” You calmly said as you stepped behind her and hugged her from behind as she was still facing the drawers, just being happy that she was back into your arms. “Did you had a good time?”

“I did” Jennie leaned her body into yours. “I want to talk to you about something”

“I’m all ears”

“It’s about streaming with you” Jennie felt how your body tensed at her words and it made her instantly reconsider what she had to tell you. Her mouth about to tell you how she really enjoyed that time with you, even if it was a lie, but then she remembered who her partner was and then she felt like you deserved the truth. “I didn’t feel right when doing it”

Your hug got loose when those words were said. “Did I do something wrong? Do you want me to talk with my audience?” Jennie shook her head at your suggestions.

“I just didn’t enjoy it” And that was what got you to stop hugging her and stepping away from her. Immediately, she turned around and looked at your face. “Please, don’t be sad about it, I just didn’t like playing games with you”

“With me?” You repeated her words and she instantly realized that she screwed up.

“Not that way, I just didn’t like the game, and the environment I was in, and just… I just didn’t like it” Jennie looked at you, in search for any signal that you were not sad anymore, but she didn’t find it. “Are you mad at me?”

“Just... kind of sad, I think” You sighed and scratched your nape, refusing to meet her eyes. “But I’ll just sleep it off and think about an excuse for you; I don’t want anyone hating on you just because you didn’t like streaming”

“You’re the best” Her gentle voice is what soothed your broken heart as her hand caressed your cheek and her soft lips caressed your own in a try to better your mood. “I love you”

“I love you too” You matched the smile that adorned her lips.

“I will now take a shower, wait for me on the bed, I would like to cuddle”

Those eyes, that sparkle, you just couldn’t resist it, never.

“Everything for you”

Jisoo and Lisa didn’t seem amused by this new information, but before proceeding to kill you, there was another matter to attend.

“And who is that kid?” Lisa questioned.

“I actually don’t know a lot about the story” The soldier answered “I should let you discuss that privately, I’m afraid I’ve said more than what I should have, if you’ll excuse me”

As soon as the soldier exited the room, Lisa and Jisoo looked at each other and then back at you, debating if they should kill you or praise you, because: number one, you lied to them; number two, you came unharmed and with a victory in your hand; three, you apparently saved a baby and four, you kept the child without at least asking if they’d agree, although, considering you were in, this last point they could look over.

Jisoo walked towards you, while Lisa stayed in her place, and gently shook your shoulder, waking you up after some seconds. You slowly opened your eyes, still feeling your body as if you are carrying a ton of weight, but as soon as you saw the beautiful face of one of your girlfriends, all of it just vanished away… up until you noticed the frown in her face and knew you were lowkey screwed.

Then, you noticed your other girlfriend, Lisa, standing just a few steps away with her arms crossed.

Now… You’ve seen the face of death, met her in the eye and drank a coffee with her as you tell her all about your military career; you’ve been at the wrong side of a gun barrel and saw your life through the inside of a rifle up until it ended on the dim shine of the bullet just at the bottom of it… But nothing could beat the angry face of your partners.

At that sight, you whispered whatever defense you could think of. “Before you think about killing me, I have a baby in my arms who has already taken a liking towards me” None of them talked back at you, making your nerves to skyrocket. “Look, I lied, I actually…”

“We know” Lisa interrupted you. “Let’s discuss this at home” Jisoo nodded, and you sighed, already carefully planning how you could win their forgiveness.

-

“Start” Jisoo instructed you. The three of you at your dining room, both of your girlfriends across you as if they were judging you in a court, all while the baby was still asleep in your room.

“I was called by my superiors to coordinate the last advance of our army, it was an order, not a request. I lied because I knew how risky it was and I preferred that, if I died, you would just know about it all at once instead of torturing for weeks, making you wonder if I’d return alive or not” You put your hands together on the table, nailing your eyes on them, refusing to the meet the couple of stares in front of you. “I was wrong, I know and about that baby in our room… after our victory, some of my soldiers heard crying in one of the alleys and when they went to investigate, well, there was a woman, shot in the back multiple times but who still remembered to fall sideways so she could protect the baby in her arms. When I heard about that, I felt guilty, even if none of soldiers killed her, it happened through the course of my operation, so I offered myself to foster the baby while the government take care of all the papers and authorizations to look for adoptive parents” Sighing, you looked up and saw the small tears forming in their eyes. “I’m so sorry”

“You’ve never lied to us” Jisoo pointed out. “So as long as you don’t make it into a usual thing, I forgive you”

“I do too, but I prefer to know you are in danger instead of just knowing that one day, you’ll never come back to us” Lisa added just before some cries started to echo around the penthouse.

“I’ll see what they need” Jisoo and Lisa nodded before you stood up and went to your room.

“I’ll order food for the baby and…” Jisoo looked at Lisa and put her hand on hers over Lisa’s lap. “…I’ll let you choose their clothing” The Thai smiled brightly.

“I’ll do my best”

-

Some weeks have passed ever since, and your life had drastically turned. You were still working in the army, but you have been less diligent about it, trying to take most of your free time to think about (Y/CN), and yes, along with both of your girlfriends you named the baby, even if you were still fostering them, just like right now.

You were on your coach, baby in your arms and holding the feeding bottle to (Y/CN)’s mouth, Jisoo and Lisa looking at you in adoration.

“I’ll resign from the army” You suddenly said, still looking at the baby, leaving Jisoo and Lisa into a little bit of a shock.

“Why so suddenly?” Lisa asked.

“It’s not sudden, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I just didn’t have the courage to imagine a life outside the army, but after what happened in the last operation, the blood that was spilled under my orders, I just feel that this is the right option”

“We’ll always support you” Jisoo smiled at you.

“I know” You stopped feeding the baby and saw how their little eyes looked at you, in pure adoration. You were their protection, almost by instinct they saw you as their shelter, their parent.

That moment would have lasted longer just if your phone hadn’t started to ring scaring the baby. (Y/CN) started to cry because of the sudden noise, making Lisa to stand up and take the baby off your arms and take them into your room so you could talk to whoever was calling you.

As soon as you picked up the phone and listened to the voice on the other side of the line greeting you, you knew what this call was about. So, you just greet them and let them talk as you closed your eyes, confusing Jisoo.

“Have a good day” You ended the call and looked at Jisoo. “A couple has started searching to adopt an international baby and adoption services want to give them (Y/CN)”

Jisoo just nodded and stayed quiet.

This was expected to happen, so, why did you feel like that? Broken?

“Look!” Lisa whispered-yelled as she entered the living room, with a big smile on her face. “I finally managed to calm (Y/CN) down” Jisoo and you looked at Lisa, her happy face breaking both of your hearts even more. “Did something happen?”

“Adoption services want to give (Y/CN) to a couple” Lisa’s smile suddenly disappeared, and her eyes fell on the sleeping face of (Y/CN).

No words were spoken afterwards.

-

That dreaded day has arrived. All the baby things the three of you bought were now packed and ready to be given to adoption services as soon as the ring the bell of your home.

Jisoo was carrying (Y/CN), looking intently at the baby while sitting on the couch, wanting to engrave their face in her mind, with Lisa and you on her sides, doing the same as Jisoo.

“I don’t want to let (Y/CN) go…” Jisoo whispered as her hand very gently caressed the head of the baby.

“I love you (Y/CN)” Lisa sadly smiled.

But you, you were quiet.

Back when you were training, you were taught not to care, to think rationally, to fight and to follow orders, not to against them; but how could you ever do that now?

It was cruel, wasn’t it?

One thing was to have never met (Y/CN), for their biological mother to survive, to never feel this kind of happiness and sadness.

But to meet her, feeling all these emotions and suddenly having to let her go, that was another thing.

The ring of your doorbell sounded across your home, Lisa and Jisoo suddenly tensing up at what that meant, but still, they did not let go, they wanted to hold onto (Y/CN) until the last second.

“I’ll go open the door” You offered and stood up without receiving any kind of response.

All that Jisoo and Lisa wished was to wake up, this had to be a nightmare. It felt too surreal, it broke them to a point where they were questioning why they would let themselves love (Y/CN) if they knew someday, they had to go.

When they heard the door open, Lisa put her head on Jisoo’s shoulder, seeking any kind of comfort.

It felt like an eternity until they heard the door close and some steps getting near them and stopping just behind them. They did not want to look, fearing that as soon as they turn around, they’ll people in fancy suits asking them to give up (Y/CN).

“(Y/CN)’s adoption process has started” Your voice brought with it the start of their worst fear, there was no turning back now, (Y/CN) was no longer under your care. “After some visits to the psychologist and some others from adoptions services for evaluation, they should give us the adoption certificate for (Y/CN)”

Did they hear correctly?

Give us? Us?

Both of them turned around slowly and noticed the lack of any personnel from adoption services.

“(Y/CN) is going to be our kid” Lisa was the first to react and run towards you, jumping into your arms and kissing you all over your face. Jisoo smiled brightly and looked towards (Y/CN), their eyes were open and looking back at her with that spark only (Y/CN) could have.

Jisoo stood up and went towards Lisa and you, getting as close to you as possible. All three of you looked at (Y/CN), finally, without any fear, you could call yourselves their parents.

Painful, unfair, frustrating… All for her group’s sake.

This was the only consolation Jisoo had whenever she looked at your contact and remember how happy she was with you, how you smiled at her each time you saw her or about the first time you said “I love you”

But she had lost it all, because it was for the best, or so she was told.

“An idol can´t date a regular worker”

“You’ll just drag them into a kind of attention no one but you would be able to stand”

“BLACKPINK is going to suffer if this ever comes out”

How could something that hurts deep in her heart be for the best?

At her sigh, the girls all looked at her. This was supposed to be a calm night after all the chaos of their comeback, but Jisoo, after a question coming from Lisa, ranted about you and then went to the living room and sat down, needing space.

The rest of BLACKPINK members didn’t have an idea that she was once in love, or that she was in a romantic relationship, but Jisoo was like that, she always hid her thoughts for herself.

“I’m sorry” Lisa from the dining table, where the rest of BLACKPINK was. “I didn’t know”

“It’s fine” Jisoo continued looking at your contact, how she wished she had the courage to press that green button on her screen and hear your voice.

“You know…” Roseanne thought her words well before continuing. “… We aren’t under a dating ban anymore, maybe you could try to be back together with…”

“(Y/N)” Jisoo completed the sentence, now looking at Roseanne. “And no, (Y/N)’s surely happier this way, without having to keep us in secret”

“How can you know?” Now it was Jennie’s turn to try and make Jisoo feel better. “If (Y/N) loved you as you loved them, maybe they feel the same way you do” Jisoo looked down at her phone, “Why don’t you give (Y/N) a call?”

“And what would I say?”

“It’s a difficult question, but I would start wih a ‘Hello’”

Jisoo smiled at Jennie’s comment. What damage could it do? She is already without you, it’s not as if she could lose you twice.

The girls looked shocked when they heard beeping sounds from Jisoo’s phone. Now? And on speaker?

“Hello” Jisoo said as soon as you picked up, while the girls went to the living room and sat on the couch wanting to show support to their oldest member.

“Jisoo?” When your voice echoed through Jisoo’s apartment, she bit her lip, it was like a dream come true for her, all over again.

“I am Jisoo” She answered in English, making you to giggle in response.

“I didn’t expect you to call me”

“Are you busy?

“No!” Your exclamation surprised the group. “I… I mean, yes I’m working on some boring stuff, but I can make time for you”

“So, I’m distracting you?”

“Of course not!” Jisoo was just teasing you by now, and her smirk proved it. “You know what? Forget it, I’m just happy you called me”

Jisoo smiled widely at your words and even blushed lightly at them, making Roseanne to put her hand on Lisa’s mouth as she was just about to aww. “So… are you free next weekend?”

“Next weekend?” She heard you moving some sheets around through the phone, and after some seconds of silence you answered. “Yes, I am”

“Would you like me to go to your home and see a movie?”

“Or… I could just take you to that restaurant with private rooms”

“I thought that was reserved for VIPs”

“I have so much to tell you” Jisoo’s mind was racing at this point, she wasn’t expecting this to happen, a date? After all this time? “So, next Saturday, at 6 PM?”

“Alright” Jisoo calmly said.

“Alright then, see you on Saturday”

“See you on Saturday”

As soon as the call ended, the girls squealed in excitement.

Jisoo had a date.

-

In fact, you did have a lot to tell her.

She couldn’t believe she was now in front of a CFO, the youngest there has ever been at your company at that. When she ended things with you, you were a normal worker, but now, you managed to climb up the ladder to get you to where you are. And she couldn’t get to see that.

You always talked about getting that promotion to an Accounting Director, seeing how hard you were working for it and getting to know all of your ideas to get the job. But because of YG, she couldn’t see you getting the job, she couldn’t celebrate with you, she couldn’t support you, and the fact that you were a BLINK all this time made her feel even worse.

You didn’t feel any remorse, not a single sign of any negative feelings towards her. In fact, you were very welcoming of her presence and her flirting attempts, as if nothing ever changed.

But the night had to come to an end, and it already did.

You were in the underground parking lot of Jisoo’s building. None of you actually wanting to end things here, like this, but you didn’t know what to say, so, you just let your heart do the talking.

“You know…” You looked at Jisoo, getting lost in her eyes as you spoke. “…I became the CFO, I fought for it, just because I didn’t want YG to address me as a common worker ever again… because that meant, that I couldn’t get to be with you” You looked back to the front, suddenly feeling so weak at her gaze. “But after I got the job, I realized that you were a worldwide celebrity, presenting yourself at the most prestigious fashion shows and music shows and starring in the best dramas the world has ever seen… And I couldn’t avoid thinking of myself as a common worker”

“I thought you were happier without me” You immediately looked at Jisoo, wanting to retort but she continued talking. “Forcing you to keep a secret, to hide us even from your friends and family and finally forcing you to distance yourself from me, all because my company ordered me to. We never had control of our relationship in the first place, but without me, you had control of your life, that was why, even after my dating ban ended, I never tried to reach you” She leaned closer to you and put a hand on your arm. “We had our reasons to keep us away from each other, but right now, is there something forcing us to do so?” When she looked at you avoiding her gaze, she smiled lightly, maybe it was in vain but, she wanted at least this one last chance. “No matter where I was or with who I was, I always thought that I wanted you there, supporting me”

You looked back at her, with stars in your eyes “Let’s try this again, us, I want to be with you again” She saw it again, that smile which captured her dreams night and night again.

This time…

“Then do so” You leaned closer as she closed her eyes and closed the distance, not before whispering. “As long as you love me like I love you”

…She was going to be the first one to say “I love you”

Roseanne doesn´t remember when all this dance of emotions started, but she knew that the reason behind it was you.

Never in her life had she expected to fall in love with someone this fast this intense, but you came into her life and all of a sudden it happened. A smile was all she needed from you for her to know she was interested in you, and a couple of unexpected meetings in the backstages of some events were enough for her to develop something for you. Now, a year from that first smile has passed and things have changed a little bit.

No longer were the two of you happy strangers, but somewhat friends, much to her dread. It was becoming difficult to keep a straight face when you were in stage, or when you passed by her when the both of you were in camera, all because she didn’t want anything to ruin her chances with you. She didn’t even make any advance towards you, too afraid of a heartbreak.

But the feeling she got whenever she saw you was so intense that her heart could break out of simple attraction towards you. You were like a magnet to her, her perfect temptation, the one that was in her head when she wrote love songs, her inspiration, her-

“You did good today (Y/N)”

Why was Sana there? That close to you? Her eyes burning into yours as you smiled with your back on the wall.

Why was she holding your arm? Why was she smiling at you like that?

Why were you just openly receiving all that flirting and compliments like nothing?

Roseanne wanted to be the one in Sana´s place, as she always was. A show had just ended and you completely dominated it, Roseanne wanted to compliment you, to tell you how good you were as the both of you smiled for each other; only there could Roseanne have a small portion of what she actually wanted.

She wanted to step towards you and get between the two of you, but she couldn’t…

The same knot she felt when she thought about making any advance was making its presence now. As if a dozen hands were holding her back.

She must has looked a little bit creepy, just watching the two of you there for about a dozen seconds before Sana would finally step away from you and go back with her own members, but even then, she was trapped in her own mind.

“Rosie…?” You called for her as you saw her some meters away from you in the hallway. “Are you there?” You got off the wall and waved at her, seeing how she was still staring at you. “Roseanne Park!”

Finally, you could help her escape from her own thoughts as she jumped a little bit at your voice. She smiled nervously at you and stepped towards you.

“(Y/N), you need to change your clothes” But your manager came from behind you. “Come on, the CEO wants to congratulate you, you did great!” That was when your manager noticed Roseanne some steps away from you. “I’m sorry to interrupt, it is kind of urgent”

“Don’t worry” Roseanne waved her hand at your manager and then looked at you. “We can talk another time”

“Of course” You warmly answered. “See you another time” You turned around and went towards your dressing room, leaving your manager and Roseanne alone in the hall.

“I know when something’s up, you know?” Your manager´s words took Roseanne by surprise. “(Y/N)’s going to have some free days after this, I´m sure I you can spend some time alone, you have exchanged numbers, right?” Roseanne nodded and your manager smiled. “Good”

And like that, your manager left a shocked Roseanne behind.

-

A week has passed and Roseanne would like nothing more than to say that she actually messaged you, but she couldn’t.

Today, as every day ever since she saw you, she was staring at your contact in her phone. What could she even say to you? You both weren’t even that close, why would you choose to risk being photographed with her on the street?

She sighed, She’ll surrender again, maybe tomorrow will be the day.

Trying to get distracted, she opened her Instagram and scrolled down some posts from her friends, commenting on a few and reading positive comments from her own posts. It worked every time she wanted to get her mind off this kind of things, except this time.

This time she saw a post she didn’t like, one from Sana, from apparently a coffee shop and the words that accompanied it made it worse: “What a lovely day” with heart emojis. The thing is, it wasn’t a selfie, but someone else took the photo. Inevitably, her mind started to drift towards situations she didn’t want to be in.

What if the one who took the photo was you? What if Sana had actually invited you on a date? What if her own fears had just prevented her from being happy?

She lost you, didn’t she?

-

Her eyes opened abruptly as her ringtone echoed through her apartment. Apparently, she had fallen asleep while trying to put her mind at ease. Maybe it was a dream.

She sat up on her couch and looked at her phone beside her, your name showing on the screen. As fast as her sleepy body let her, she grabbed her phone and answered your call.

“Hello” She said, trying to be as normal as possible.

“Rosie…” Roseanee stayed quiet, wanting you to continue. “…I was wondering if you would like to meet up”

“Yes!” Rosé accidentally exclaimed. “Of course, do you want to come over?”

“I’d like that” Just as you answered, she had just processed what she just suggested, opening her eyes up like plates. “Could you send me your address?”

“I’ll send it to you”

“Thank you, see you later”

She just hummed as an answered before you hung up. She just invited you to her place. The reality of the situation hit her as she sends you the address.

Slowly, she looked around and while she wasn’t usually a disorganized person, with how her mind has been distracted with you, her apartment wasn’t in optimal conditions.

Some clothes here and there, some glasses on her coffee table and she was sure there were dishes on the sink left to wash. Roseanne bolted up from the couch and started going all around her apartment to clean it. She still needed to dress with something nice and apply some makeup, wait, what would you two even do? She didn’t have much snacks to see a movie, or enough ingredients to make dinner together

Suddenly, her doorbell rang. Almost miraculously, she could complete each thing she had to before you arrived; however, she couldn’t hide her lack of breath, her tensed state and her nervousness when she opened the door and she saw you there, with a cap and a face mask, holding a bag of Italian take out and a bottle of red wine.

“I brought this, I hope it’s okay” You raised your hands and show her the bags, she only nodded. “Great, may I come in?”

“Of course” She stepped to the side and let you in her apartment

“Can I heat this in your kitchen?” Then again, she only nodded.

Her mind couldn’t wrap around the situation, you were here, alone, with her. Roseanne’s eyes couldn’t separate from your figure, even as you were just heating your food, your face mask and cap already place on the counter beside the stove, with your back towards her.

Images of you with Sana came to her mind, her thoughts of earlier invaded her reason. She wished it didn’t come to this, her losing the opportunity to be with you as something more.

She had lost you…

“I like you, you know?”

…She had nothing else to lose.

You tensed at her words, had you heard her right?

“And I know you like someone else, but I just…” Her repressed sob just barely reached your ears, confusing you even more. “…I just had to say it, I’m sorry”

When you turned around and saw her in that state, you understood part of what was happening. She had just confessed to you, she was crying because the thought of you like someone else hurt her deeply.

“Who said I like someone else?” At your question, she looked into your eyes, breaking you because of the expression she wore.

“What about Sana?” You scratched your nape remembering what happened in your free days.

“She asked me on date, but I rejected her” Roseanne’s mind clicked with the realization that her own sadness and impotence led her to connect pieces of evidence she created on her own.

“But you let her flirt with you on the hallway”

“I thought all you will ever see me as was a friend, I just wanted to move on and stop hurting” You looked down, in regret of what you had done, if only you weren’t so blind, so oblivious. “But a close friend of mine knocked some sense into me, that maybe, just maybe, in all of the time I’ve been liking you in secret, you’ve liked me back” You looked into her eyes and saw her shocked expression, processing what you had just said. “If only I knew before, I would have never done that; I’m so sorry”

“So, you do like me back?” She asked, walking closer to you.

“Of course I do” You carefully placed your hand over her cheek and swooned over how she closed her eyes and let herself be loved by you. “How could I not?”

“Then, I’ll accept your apology, as long as you will be mine” She smiled, opening her eyes as she placed her hands carefully at the sides of your neck, with her thumbs caressing your cheeks.

“I accept your deal”

Roseanne was leaning close to you, about to do what she had wanted to do for a long time now, before a certain smell reached her nose. “Is something burning?”

You immediately came back to your senses and turned around to see the black smoke coming out of the pan. “Oh no”

Never said; never felt

Jisoo

The Kim family has ruled the kingdom for generations, and now, the future the Queen of the kingdom was learning the basic manners and how to behave as a royal, plus other classes in diplomacy, economy and war tactics.

Jisoo, the heir to the throne, was around fourteen years old at the time and for a royal, she had an eccentric personality. You could sometimes see her walking through the halls with a jar full of water on her head or talking to the flowers in a baby tone, something her parents didn’t like that much but allowed it anyways since she only did inside the castle ground where no one could see her. Apart from that, she was like any other princess, with the only exception that her personal servant had been dismissed since they were stealing jewelry and other luxury items from the royal family in general.

As a result, a search had been conducted to find an appropriate servant for the kingdom’s princess without any result so far. Her parents wanted someone young but capable and experienced, so that they could remain as a servant for a long time and aid Jisoo in case she needed it, any time she wanted; but per the king’s request, there was an additional requirement, they needed a good background, so that meant that the candidates could not have any bad fame to them, even if it was just rumors; if it was heard of acts of thievery, awful pride, excessive ambitions between other similar cases, the candidate would be rejected.

So, every candidate that had been considered was deemed incompetent, up until one day, the queen came up with someone.

“Jisoo, meet (Y/N)” The moment Jisoo laid eyes on you, her eyes shone in amazement. She had seen you before, but not this close.

She knew of you, you were the chef’s child and you were sometimes helping in the kitchen. Jisoo was actually curious about you, she heard you were her age and thought maybe you could be friends, but when you stood up in front of her, with a gentle smile while wearing the servant’s clothes, things changed.

You seemed kind, energetic, a perfect contrast for the serious environment in the castle with the plus that you were attractive, and while Jisoo didn’t understand her feelings, she knew she wanted to get close to you; and while you were in fact, her age, and lacked training and matureness needed for a royal servant, she was ready to accept you as her personal servant as soon as she was asked…

…And she did.

Jennie

TW: Mentions of war, alcohol and slight description of violence

War is never ideal, there were no good or bad sides, just nations with opposite interest that decide to send their young generation to die. Jennie understood this and was glad that her highest ranking general did so too. That meant that you would not take unnecessary losses and also heavily prosecuted any of your soldiers that dare act cruel or unnecessarily violent in these times of war. Although, granted, you were playing a defensive war after your neighbor decided your lands were worth the taking and them just plainly ignoring any kind of diplomacy from Jennie to try and preserve the 150 years of peace that reigned over the region before the war begun.

Fortunately, you were winning the war and were currently in the planning room after discussing the last battle strategies with the rest of the generals. It was Jennie who requested this time alone time with you, asking for a piece of advice of what to do next.

“What should we do after winning the war?” She asked from the chair she was in, while you were just in front of her, stood up across the table.

“We won’t win until we take their castle” You answered.

“Then, what should we do after we hypothetically win the war?”

“What are you referring to?”

“Should we just annex them?” She asked.

“We can do that, we can also puppet them or we can make them into a satellite state” You sat on one of the corners of the table while still looking at her.

“And what would you suggest?”

“Joshua would tell you to annex them, that they deserve it; Sasha would tell you to puppet them and use them to our advantage while still giving them that feeling of independence; Alex would tell you to satellite them and win an ally; and Maria would say that there’s still the option to just sanction them and preserve their independence or just considering their war damages enough of a punishment and let them be” You looked at her directly in her eyes and continued. “But I would tell you that is your decision; you say I’ll follow, as it always has been”

“I see…” At her face of disappointment and a very rare show of weakness, you decided to just let down your façade.

“Jennie, I know nothing of politics, economics, or any other boring stuff really; I’m a soldier, the only thing I know is how to kill efficiently and how to make an entire nation bend to us; you are the one that knows that boring stuff” Jennie giggled and shook her head. “So, in all honesty, I only see myself as your sword and your shield, you are the one who decides when and how to use me and fortunately for me, the one who uses me is the best human being I’ve ever known”

“You sure are a charmer” You shrugged your shoulders with a smile.

“Well then, looks like I know boring stuff too” And that smile, that relaxed attitude, your true self outside of that rigid personality, she loved it.

Suddenly, she didn’t want to stop hearing you for a moment, what else do you think she should do? What other ideas do you have? What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite food so she would ask for it to be cooked every time she sees you?

But now’s not the time, to love in a war is to risk the death of your heart, and she understood it, she just wishes she didn’t.

Rosé

Now…

…Why did the gardener had to be so attractive?

Those were the constant questions around Roseanne’s head because of you, but today, she decided that she would just end this, she will finally talk to you after all those months of staring at you from inside the gazebo as she drank her afternoon tea.

With decision, she put her cup oon the plate over the table and stood up to walk towards you. Meanwhile, you were crouched analyzing the pink roses of the garden, being extra careful to see that no insect would be eating their petals and that they had no signs of dehydration. You liked to be extra careful in your job, especially when you took care of the Queen’s favorite flowers, it would be a disaster if these roses were to die and rot.

“Good afternoon” You jump in surprise at the abrupt voice and immediately put your head on the ground to bow down when you realized who was talking to you.

“My Queen, good afternoon” You raised your head from the ground and looked up to meet her face. “What may I be of assist?” She smiled at your politeness and squatted to your level. “My Queen, your dress will be full of dirt”

“As are your clothes” You looked down to yourself and indeed she was right. Dirt was all over your clothes and hands up to your elbows, which kind of made you feel insecure to be in front of the Queen.

“But this is because of my job, my Queen” Roseanne looked at the roses you were taking care of and passed a hand over the petals, feeling the smoothness and firmness of them.

“Tell me more about your job” You looked at her for a few seconds and then at the flowers she was touching.

“I don’t know what I could tell you about it, I wouldn’t want to bore you” Roseanne looked at you with a soft expression

“Why do you love flowers?”

The first question that went to your head was how does she know about your passion for flowers, but it only costed a glance to the entire garden to see it. Any good gardener could make the plants grow healthy, but it takes a special type of ability and care to make a garden shine just like the castle gardens did. The second question is why would she be interested in such a trivial matter about you, she must be so busy with royal matters to even lose time with you. However, she still was your Queen, and you had to answer that question.

“I grew up in the wilderness, on a cabin with my family, I was taught to love and respect nature ever since I was a little kid” You looked away from Roseanne and focused your gaze on the roses in front of you. “My love of flowers came from my parents, they decorated our exterior with lots of flowers with lots of positive meanings, wishing the best for our household”

“Meanings?” You looked at Roseanne who was listening attentively at each and every word that got out of your mouth.

“Yes, meanings, throughout history flowers have acquire diverse cultural meanings” Roseanne looked back at the pink roses.

“Then, what is the meaning of a pink rose?”

“Admiration; when you send someone a bouquet of pink roses, it means you admire them” Roseanne looked at you as you completed that sentence.

“Not love?”

“Those are the red ones; a love so intense that it’s about to explode”

Your simple words made Roseanne think about adding red roses to the castle gardens. Suddenly, a simple crush transformed into a love so intense that took Roseanne all of her being to just keep the distance she had from you.

For now, she wanted to commission a new section in the garden, and she had you to guide her in which flowers should be planted.

Lisa

If Lalisa could choose a thing she hated from her Royal Guard, then she would choose their laziness, and it was all because of a certain ideology that had formed in the Military Academy. Only the top of the class had the right to advance into the Royal Guard training, to become an expert in protecting the Royal Family, but centuries of peace had made the once glorious Royal Guard into a bunch of kids that sleep in their guards or take booze out of the castle storage.

Lalisa, unlike her predecessor, decided that she would do something about it and she did. She tracked you, a soldier that had the right to enter the Royal Guard but instead chose the regular infantry, a place in which you gained glory and honor by defending the kingdom of road criminals and tracking the most dangerous ones to bring them down to justice. Because of your achievements, Lalisa put you in charge of training the entirety of the Royal Guard, being the current soldiers and the trainees, hoping you could discipline them all.

Today was your first day of work and Lalisa was curious about how it will go, so, she went to spectate the lesson and what she encountered surprised her a little bit. You had a total of a hundred students, and approximately fourty of them were at the last line carrying buckets of water with their arms extended to their sides, and some others were around the training field, all of them with some kind of injury. All of it while you looked fresh, and that made her realize that she made the correct choice in the new Commander of the Royal Guard.

But then, she looked closer at you. You seemed firm, scary, but something in you seemed attractive, you weren’t enjoying this torture, it seemed that you in fact dreaded it, but did it because it was necessary; that, and your overall appearance made Lalisa to feel an interest in you.

When you noticed the Queen behind you, you gave a new order to your class. “Run thirty laps around the castle?”

“Around the entire castle?!”

“Did I stutter soldier?” You immediately retaliated the question, to which no one else dared to challenge you and started to run. “When did I say that you could drop the buckets?!” Another set of stern words made the ones carrying the buckets to hold them up again and starting to run. “And I better see those buckets full when you finish! It will be all the water you’ll drink today!”

“I see you are disciplining them” Lalisa walked to be beside you while still looked at the unconscious bodies of some of your students. “Maybe more than I expected”

“I don’t like to be evaluated, Queen Lalisa”

“I’m not” Lalisa looked at you with a little smile. “I’m just chatting with my kingdom’s hero”

“I’m just a soldier, not a hero” You matched the Queen’s gaze without a single sign of a doubt.

“That’s not what I heard”

“Let them talk then”

Lalisa stared at you, not taking her eyes off yours which oddly gave her comfort. When this happened in a court, she will feel in a sort of standoff with the other person, but that wasn’t what she felt with you, she felt comforted despite how cold your eyes were; you didn’t see her as a Queen, as someone to beat if you want power, but as an equal.

“Why didn’t you choose to become a Royal Guard in the first place?”

“Because people need the best out there, not here eating and drinking like a bunch of lazy kids carrying a sword” You looked at the bodies of the students that dared to challenge you, despite you being a higher rank.

“Why choosing to become one now?”

“Because you ordered it”

That made Lalisa to feel a slight pang in her heart. You were here just because she ordered it, not because you wanted, but is that inherently sad? She is the Queen, her orders are absolute, this is normal…

…No, she can’t feel something for someone she just met…

…You were interesting, that’s right… She was just curious about how out of the ordinary you acted…