Thoughts From A Lover Boy

Uh oh - new comfort meal brewing?? : totino’s pizza rolls, Kirkland brats, and hot oolong tea

Today, I have been held prisoner by the “out for delivery” scam. You never know when they are gonna be here so you have to be here and not leave. The second you think, “oh it’s okay, I’ll only be 30 mins” THEY SHOW UP IMMEDIATELY. Oops sorry we missed you.

Being autistic and in the process of unmasking makes it so nerve wracking to do interviews. Trying to be myself and also worrying about eye contact, smiling, tone, and body language.

Been working on moving my music consumption away from immediate mainstream music and adding to my CD collection. The best thing so far has been finding the joy I had with older albums that I just stopped listening to and also finding Bandcamp. Shoutout to whoever suggested that on a random search for big streaming platform alternatives. IM IN LOVE. The radio and features are so well done and thoughtful. I like that I can also add more to the monetary contribution when purchasing from the artists. Just a little “hey artist, I freaking love this song/album and I have some extra dollars I want to give.”

I’ve never been a big DC person but the trailers for Superman were good and I must say - the movie did not disappoint! I feel like I also got a better view of it cause I have literally no foundational knowledge so everything was new which I love. If I know a story or pieces that should be happening, then my brain is always looking ahead and spoiling things for me.

I have moved on to more complex quilt block patterns and I must say…I am *sick* and *tired* of the inches. I need to upgrade to mm and cm cause these fractions are *killing* me. Not cause they are difficult but because my brain is like - there is something simpler and more accurate out there and I fully know it by name but yet here I stand - inches - GAHHHH

Thunderbolts was fucking sad. The story was sad but also it felt like my childhood just died seeing that the marvel avengers are over. I haven’t been watching marvel stuff since end game and now I’m like wow. Those movies I loved and rewatched and could quote every second are getting older and older.

I feel so stuck because I don’t understand if the “hard work” I’m supposed to be putting in to receive the blessings is pushing through all of the tiredness and pain so that it will potentially set me up for success later or admitting and owning that in this present day it hurts to push through it all and so instead I save myself and say no?

Yards later of hand piecing a quilt and I’m like, “hey I should change my needle out now - it’s probably dull”. The first stitch with the new needle literally moves through the fabric like BUTTER.