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Much like with 1965, there are a cluster of 4 or 5 songs after that which i like equally, but are starting to filter into a ranking.

ALSO like 1965, there are a bunch of ballads I have little to add about.

Unlike 1965, we have an electro-Britpop piece, a sapphic stalker anthem, and a man gatekeeping "steroid injectors" from predating on girls at the club.

I'll take this over Arne being cuckolded at the fairground.

My next installment in my Eurovision Opinionated Guides takes us to NAPLES, NINETEEN SIXTY-FIVE!

I never realised how much this song is ALSO a deconstruction of the Bond theme idea, while also being a perfect throwback. Much like the film itself.

...

Well, here we are.

Session 1 of Changeling: The Lost The World of Darkness.

Meet Deirdre Quinn, Private Investigator/Researcher/Spoiler-of-Plans. Did you hear about the Australian National University? How its top brass was linked with all that financial shell-game nonsense and how they were involved in grooming students? ST’s Note: Did I just combine the actual ANU drama with the Epstein Files? Yes. Yes I did. Look, it’s the World of Darkness. Everything is more shit there.

Well, the woman who compiled the report who blew that wide open is our protagonist du jour. Months have passed now and, yes, people are still resigning and there’s a whole thing about “revitalising the institution” but Dr Quinn (no relation) is busy filing papers. On this Thursday afternoon, a buzz strikes her intercom.

 Her client (soon to be client) is Professor Marcus Webb – who she doesn’t REALLY want to see, because he’s from the ANU, but he is paying and he brought a nice imported Irish stout. And she is fond of Irish stout.

 This guy, OMG, let me tell you about this guy. Offered a posting at the university because, well, 11 resignations, 2 criminal investigations with more pending. He waltzes in here talking about this old student buddy of his. David Fischer – currently a high level administrator at the Canberra Hospital. They went to uni together in the 90s and Marcus thought “I’ll meet up with my old buddy.” And He Did. And it was fine.

 David made the same dumb jokes. Had the same dress sense. The same inexplicable tastes in football teams (a comment that got a bemused smile, from the otherwise suspicious Dr Quinn who was TOTALLY billing him for this, WITH a 5 minute timer). But… something was off. The look in his eyes. The way that this flamboyantly gay man was now, 27 years later, married with two adopted children. The way that a man who had been a messy but focused student, was now enamoured by admin. Marcus was struck by the fact that this man was both his old friend and couldn’t be his old friend.

 Deirdre, of course, was not buying a word of this. People change. She wanted to be an actress. One of her uni friends was a raging lesbian, but joined the army and is now married to a man with a kid. This is completely normal. But the Professor was obviously not hiding anything and was willing to pay. So, contracts signed. What the hell is up with David Fischer?

 Well, he’s boring. He goes to Canberra bubble shindigs and doesn’t seem to care. He’s in the background of photos, but is more interested in his wife than the things around him. Quinn finds an article where he won an award for administration, where he is quoted as not being interested in all the people at these parties. These are the people embroiled in the drama at ANU.

So, our hero thinks (do we call her a hero? Protagonist.) well, if the fucken family is so important, what’s up with them. Kids? Rohan (18) and Theo (16), both adopted. Go to Canberra Grammar. Theo is a substitute on the rugby team. Rohan does nothing. FUCKING NOTHING. No clubs, no honour rolls, both of them, private socials. Boring. One kid not good enough for the actual team, one kid, apparently, not good enough for ANYTHING.

What about the wife? Priya, fiftysomething. EVEN MORE BORING. The most prominent thing she’s done is co-author a paper on water preservation in the Murray-Darling Basin. She’s at some of those do’s, but is only there because David is, and that’s it. Private socials. Nothing. Boring.

So, how about the Canberra Hospital dick-wagger himself? Hanging out in the café by the admin block, she hears … nothing. Well, some doctorate wanna-be left the liquid nitrogen out and messed up a highly expensive piece of equipment, so the budgeting was all screwed up for the coming quarterly report – but nothing about Fischer.