HAUTE+MEAL

Several times I’ve come to twitter to tweet about how my bad night is going bad. Several times I’ve come to my super secret void on the internet. Several times I’ve written on my diary. I am not okay right now. While typing a small condescending voice whispers to my mind, “Neither are other people okay and they might be having it worse than you.” There are so much unnecessarily stressful things going on in my life and I don’t know where to begin. I just feel so... inadequate as a person. Unwanted. Strange. Lonely. Very lonely. I don’t know what to do when I start feeling like this. It doesn’t end. This feeling comes just so strongly at random parts of my life, at such strange and very busy circumstances. Every one I know who I can trust and vent to is busy as well. And the best thing I can do now? Suppress. Suppress. Suppress.  Law school. Will I pass? If I don’t, how do I live with myself? Did I really want this though? Is it for me? Will my grandparents be proud? Or am I setting myself up for self-destruction and disappointment? If this isn’t for me, where on earth do I go? How do I move forward? How do I live with myself. I barely accomplished anything in this lifetime. I feel like I overrate myself too much. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know. And I’m not okay.

/end/

Being just an ordinary human being wandering along the pathway of life, I've evolved this simple philosophy to guide me:

To affirm that I am proud to be a member of the human race; to recognize that, regardless of color, class, or creed, man's destiny is my destiny, and that only as we learn to live together will we move forward together.

To accept life as it is and to go along with it, bravely trying to change what needs to be changed and serenely adapting myself to what cannot be changed.

To realize that no experience in human life is alien to me and that my responsibility is to meet whatever happens to me with fortitude and courage.

To admit that, being human, I am bound to make mistakes, but to make as few as possible and to try to avoid making the same mistake twice.

To recognize the frailties and foibles of human nature and to try to be everlastingly patient, forgiving, and understanding.

To promptly forget slights and insults and to hope that others will not hold against me the winged arrows that may in anger or irritation escape my lips.

To share my courage and hope with others and keep my fears, heartaches, and disappointments to myself.

To go my way quietly and humbly and not worry too much about mysteries I cannot explain. To do my best here and now and let the future take care of itself.

To be grateful for the precious gift of life with its limitless possibilities. To glory in the power of human beings to rise to great heights and to outdo themselves in miraculous works. To find inspiration in the words of Browning: "A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for?"

To understand that the goodness of God can be known only through human goodness; that when I express the highest and best, I express god.

To confront the inevitable fact that I share with all human beings a common end: that someday Death, the kind old nurse, will rock us all to sleep, so we should help each other while we can.

Hey hey hey

I’m trying really hard to finish an analysis paper so I can dump all my photos from my birthday week trip to South Korea! I miss it so much. A young nation brimming with history, art, and so much character! Waaah the food, the fashion, the people, the palaces and the museums, and the streets! A week is not enough and I am aching to go back.

My college just announced that it’s opening slots for a month-long cultural immersion with a full scholarship to the Catholic University of Korea for the upcoming summer semester. If I somehow fix my schedule with my upcoming internship (hopefully at certain top fashion publications), I’m hoping I can find myself back in the cool breeze and picturesque streets of Seoul!

In the meantime, while I try to fill up around two more pages for this paper, here’s an unwarranted selfie. All the photos I took in South Korea were taken with the amazing Samsung Note 5. Not having a DSLR to our trip wasn’t as devastating because the Note 5′s lens is capable of capturing so much crisp and vibrant images. Not disappointed at all.

I am a happy subscriber to LifeHack and Happify user for many reasons, and one of them is having positive articles to read at the beginning or end of my day. Now at the preliminary period of my junior year in college I'd like to look back at one particular article I read from before. Author Emina Dedic shared an article that features an infographic created by Happify that sheds light on why some of us are so hard on ourselves and why it's important for us to foster Self-Compassion.

Everyone needs to be at peace with themselves and I know this is hard growing up with insecurities and flaws. But I want you to know that while we are encouraged to share kindness to others, it is also important to be kind to ourselves. It's hard enough we have to deal with negative energy all around us, we don't need to be too hard on ourselves all the time. 

Now, if you haven't read the article yet, I'm sharing it here!

Here's why Self-Compassion is an integral part of our holistic health:

Now if you feel like a friend of yours needs this too, don't hesitate to reblog or share the post around! Happy sharing! :D

Nothing is perfect, but it always seems so when you’ve got an island paradise all to yourself and your family- or at least, without hoards of drunken college students or hundreds of tourists blocking out the majestic view or loitering in the way. Off-peak season boracay is the best boracay- no doubt.

This was when my uncle and his family had their second visit to the Philippines after my grandparents celebrated their golden anniversary. We all decided to take to Boracay and leave boring Dagupan and rainy Manila. It was really cool going to the island paradise during June because not a lot of people were there and we practically had the plane to ourselves, save for a number of other tourists. I sat beside my Lolo and my Lola, so imagine me just trynna hold myself together whenever they’d randomly pop a question or when Lolo would express his discomfort by passionately tugging at his rosary. *It wasn’t THAT bad* I love them to bits tho :) Apart from leisurely walks on the beach and exploring the stations, the best of Boracay is off the mainland. The highlight of our trip would probably our stay at Magic Island and being able to do watersports like diving, banana boat rides and so much more! Wouldn’t it be nice to just go ahead and jump??? Danielle, Patpat, Mah gurl Bea, Yours Truly and Marielle  Boracay is a favorite tourist spot in the Philippines and it will always have its appeal as our flagship beach destination. But with all the recent scrutiny of its disarray and unbecoming, of its rude awakening from being an unspoiled, peaceful escape into an overdeveloped, consumer-driven island immersed in party culture… it is slowly losing its luster. That’s why I loved that during my last trip there, we were able to spend a day island hopping, and absolutely loved Magic Island in Boracay. It was truly a gem- a small, quiet, subdued paradise. A lot of unforgettable memories and adventures that had to be lived in their wholeness, then instagrammed, vined or.. blogged about later on lol

I don’t think it’s in the books for this year but I’m praying that a La Union, Calaguas, or Zambales trip could be a possibilitywith friends (lol asa) I’m also hoping that my photography skills could improve the next time(and that i could upgrade my smartphone! All photos were taken with my xperia!)

I really enjoy finding serenity in our beaches and I hope they don’t disappoint.Boracay may change, but its clear waters and fine white sand won’t. Here’s to hoping its local government does. It could be worse, but it definitely could get better.